I've got quite a simple question that I just can't answer - why would a woman not be a feminist?

[MarionCole]

Surely everyone wants equality of opportunity, don't they?

Would appreciate the opinions of those feminists far wiser than I.

I don't see why I have received such a bad response with this. I think most people would agree with me that some women don't want to be feminist because of the stereotypes and that some feminists fit these stereotypes. Other people have have voiced the concern that they have seen it on here and they were not met with the hostility that I have been. Mothers have even come on and made threads and told you the exact same thing and that it is the reason they don't identify as feminist. So you have been told it straight from the horses mouth as the saying goes. I would understand completely if it was something new I was suggesting but it isn't the same people you are enquiring about come here and tell you this.

swallow you quoted me. I said I have witnessed

I think some women do not see themselves as feminists for the following.

I believe it's the concept that men as a group, oppress women as a group.

You can have more privileged women, good education, good career, can afford childcare, can send their children to private schools, live in a big house etc. And a woman who had poor education, no career, poor prospects etc. Cleaning the other Women's house.

And the message is we're in this together, oppressed by the patriarchy.

The man in this woman's life isn't massively priviliged in the woman's eyes.

I know privilege in feminist theory has a different meaning to what most
people think it does but I can see why women at the lower end of the social scale don't understand or embrace feminism.

Wow,I've lost the will to live reading the last few pages

no disrespect to posters who were being contstructive.

I am not a feminist and I am not proud or ashamed about it. I know you will all jump on me and tell me I am ignorant/stupid/mistaken but go ahead. I am not adding to this thread to antagonise you, you are not even likely to have any interest in my opinion but for the record that is my opinion. I live in an Islamic country, have less than equal rights to men and choose to do so. I am neither Arabic nor Muslim. I am not saying that women are not equal to men in some ways but there are fundamental differences between men and women and I believe that it is a waste of time trying to pretend otherwise.

oh my.

yes. there are fundemental differences between men and women.

men have a penis while women have a vagina.

women have breasts and give birth and men do not.

men have a great deal of power in the world and women do not.

what other fundamental differences are there?

I always thought I was a feminist until recently but since I've discovered this section of Mumsnet the whole thing irritates and annoys me beyone belief. Surely the important things are equal pay and family friendly working conditions ( for the women who don't use the whoe parenting thing as a mega excuse to take the piss ) but on here there is endless debate on leg shaving, car stickers, giving up trying to look nice etc etc. It all just gives women a really bad name. I have decided I'd much rather be an honorary man thank you.

Too right, higgle, you won't catch any of that important stuff being discussed here. None of that nasty rape and violence against women nonsense either.

Higgle, start the threads if you have things to discuss. Am sure you'll get plenty of responses and a good discussion.

Have to say, though, deciding to become an honorary man is really quite a dramatic response to a couple of threads about leg waxing...

The opposite of a feminist is not an honorary man.

I'm pretty certain that a man wouldn't give you any special credit for not being a feminist.

Not sure what the correct term would be...

Such intelligent debate.

jasminetom - why would you assume people here are not interested in your opinion? They might disagree, but that doesn't mean they are not interested.

I, for one, am interested in why you think that the fundamental differences between men and women should mean we don't have equal rights?

Nobody is denying that there are fundamental differences between men and women. Obviously men do not have wombs, do not get pregnant and do not breastfeed. Women do not have penises. I'm sure I do not need to make the list any longer. But why should these differences lead to 'less than equal rights' (your words)?

jasminetom - do the lighthearted posts really negate all the serious ones, with well thought out, articulate points being made? Perhaps you should start your own thread if you wish to have an intelligent debate on a specific topic.

jasminetom, could you make a choice to have equal rights to a man in your country?

Hear, hear, SGM

Jasmine, it's a bit rich to say 'you won't be interested in my opinion anyway' in your very first post, and then, in your second post, complain about the quality of the debate!

I would be very interested to hear more, but you've not actually said anything yet!

Going back to the OP, I never seriously considered feminism until my mid 20s.

Before that, I had always felt completely equal (and in many ways better ) than men. I had always been well treated with plenty of opportunities in the same way as anyone else.

What changed that for me was when I came across an extremely sexist boss. At first, I had a great deal of trouble understanding why he behaved like this towards me, and I slowly realised that other women who had worked with him had found the same problems. He recruited other people with very sexist attitudes and make life extremely difficult and distressing. Then I knew the importance of feminism!