Resisting femininity experiment - who's in?

[sethstarkaddersmackerel]

I was thought-provoked by the 'I'm a feminist but....' thread, particularly Dittany's posts, in which she talked about women who choose not to 'perform femininity'.

I posted on the other thread that I hugely object to all that bikini-line business but do still shave my legs. Am not sure why I do this, so I think I'm going to stop and see how it feels. It felt like a major issue when I was 20 or so but I actually suspect not shaving them now would make me feel more, rather than less, confident.

So I wondered if anyone else was thinking about giving up any beauty practices or other elements of compulsory femininity and would like to do it together and see how it feels.

this is not a competition - if you decide after a day you hate it and can't live without it, fine, but it would be really interesting to hear about, and I think it could advance our understanding of how this all works.

anyone else in?

btw, I am in a vile mood today so if anyone wants to come along to the thread and tell us we are just falling into the trap of thinking all feminists have to have hairy legs, or that actually they wax everything and are a still better feminist than meeeee, I will tell them to fuck off because if you don't 'get' this I can't be bothered explaining, either you get it or you don't

You're entirely right PA, I really need to learn to ignore.

Will stand me in good stead w.r.t. parenting too

gawd yes, I ignore my children on a regular and consistent basis

it's entirely the best way to deal with attention-seeking behaviour

What is the deal with deodorant? Surely men are "pressured" to use it just as much as women are?

I am surprised that BF babies don't mind long nipple hairs. I hate it if I get a hair in my mouth when I'm eating!

I want to be with you! :(

even if it's only so I can't be mistaken for moondog.

I am going to find something I can do as a token this year. Maybe swap foundation for a moisturiser or something. I know that this is not radical but it is something!

And DirtyMartini dd is 10 months too! Is yours a May baby?

End of April, Unruly :)

I've been doing this, sort of. I don't shave my legs, but tbf it's not summer yet so haven't tested them out in public, and not even sure I can.
And I began a new PT job 3 weeks ago and have resisted wearing any eye make-up at all or lipstick (caved in with blusher as I look so sallow without it). Not wearing make-up is a really big deal for me, but I've been pleasantly surprised. There's no mask! There's no femininity. All that counts is your work.

There's a thread already for discussing the ins and outs of this called 'I'm a feminist but...', and this thread came out of that one.

It would be nice to keep this one light-hearted and supportive. Moondog appears to have been very bored yesterday.

Ok, I'm going to go for the leaving my armpit hair...I think...

I simply can't leave my upper lip hair, but then I don't think I could if I were a man either. I actually don't think that's a man/woman thing, so I'm going to excuse myself on that one

StayFrosty - good point. I think it is important to distinguish the fun of looking stylish, in your own terms, whatever they are (which is potentially opt in) from the tyranny of having to do certain things to be acceptable, things which are specifically associated with sexiness and sexual acceptability.

(Actually I think the tyranny of uniform sexiness militates against interesting and glamorous experimentation - in a similar way that a uniform of branded sportswear does in some circles - instead of looking good, having flair, being charismatic, expressing yourself, you just look as if you are afraid not to conform and hope you will be found acceptable because you have bought the right brands / painted on / shaved off the right bits / got your hair dyed and straightened to a conventional colour and smoothness)

Not sure what I mean because dressing with flair can be very sexy and I am not at all anti-sexiness (for men or women). What word can I use to distinguish between what I am thinking of as witty, sparky, charming sexiness and what I am thinking of as tragic, meat-market packagedness?

(Not that I am making aesthetic or value judgements on any particular look - I mean the attitude of maybe flirting for fun as opposed to cravenly scrubbing up and smirking so as not to be found disgusting)

(Of course it goes without saying that there is nothing wrong with not doing either, ever, or every day, or on any given day)

I hope I am among friends in trying to unpick this - I suppose it is inevitable that some dimwits will come piling on to tell me that I am being superior and judgey about women with straightened hair, or something, yawn. I am not judging anyone or their hair. Everyone wear their hair how they like. you are all perfect and perfectly entitled to do as you like. ok?

Moondog raised some very valid points actually.
Having an armpit full of unsightly black straggly hairs, does not give you some sort of Herculean strength -it just looks revolting. And why do you want to 'resist femininity'. - it sounds like you're ashamed of being female and want to make yourselves as unattractive as you can. I know we have body hair as part of our natural state - but so what -.we all do things to our body that isn't as nature intended - most men would have long hair if they didn't cut it - they do because it looks better, - are men weak?

Hairy arms and legs on women are seriously unattractive - it doesn't make you look 'empowered' - it makes you look lazy.

And I doubt Hilary Clinton would be where she is today if she had a moustache.

I know what you mean Vezzie - and I have the same hope that it's a friends conversation as I tied myself in knots earlier talking about being beautiful. :)

I suppose it's the difference between going for a swim (makes you feel good, helps keep your body in good condition) and following the Random Sleb Bikini Diet?

...and another one.

'hairy arms and legs on women are seriously unattractive'

COMPLY!

DO NOT RESIST!

COMPLY!

That's alright, Carminaburana. I don't want to be attractive to you, so I couldn't care less how unattractive you find my hairy arms and legs. I assure you my DH does not share your opinion of what makes a woman attractive.

And let's face it, we've got better things to do with our time together than sit and stare at each others' limbs!

That's fine, have hairy arm pits - just don't sit opposite me in starbucks -

I must find something to make me look more lazy and revolting. I wasn't really getting involved as I can't think of what else to do, but I've been given the inspiration I needed.

thought this might be of interest

Does anyone else remember the hoohah over Julia Roberts hairy pits at some ceremony or other a few years' ago? The fuss was like she'd had her dress tucked in her knickers or something.

Weird that women have to shave their pits to be considered groomed.

No problem, I never go to starbucks (there isn't one where I live). Just try to avoid all other cafes and you won't be offended by the sight of my hairy armpits.

It is to do with personal grooming and looking presentable - like I said, if men left it to nature they'd all be walking around with beards and long hair - it's not about being subservient to men and their sexual desires, I'm not a man and I think it looks bloody awful.

It's really not a sign of weakness to look good - it's a sign of strength, which is why some feminists need to grow up a bit.