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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Resisting femininity experiment - who's in?

1000 replies

sethstarkaddersmackerel · 16/03/2011 13:39

I was thought-provoked by the 'I'm a feminist but....' thread, particularly Dittany's posts, in which she talked about women who choose not to 'perform femininity'.

I posted on the other thread that I hugely object to all that bikini-line business but do still shave my legs. Am not sure why I do this, so I think I'm going to stop and see how it feels. It felt like a major issue when I was 20 or so but I actually suspect not shaving them now would make me feel more, rather than less, confident.

So I wondered if anyone else was thinking about giving up any beauty practices or other elements of compulsory femininity and would like to do it together and see how it feels.

this is not a competition - if you decide after a day you hate it and can't live without it, fine, but it would be really interesting to hear about, and I think it could advance our understanding of how this all works.

anyone else in?

btw, I am in a vile mood today so if anyone wants to come along to the thread and tell us we are just falling into the trap of thinking all feminists have to have hairy legs, or that actually they wax everything and are a still better feminist than meeeee, I will tell them to fuck off because if you don't 'get' this I can't be bothered explaining, either you get it or you don't Smile

OP posts:
LadyOfTheManor · 16/03/2011 20:05

Wow. Yes it is something to be taught. Being born and conditioned heavily by society, I think it takes a lot to un-learn what you have been taught and learn again. By who? I don't know. Feminism isn't a easy topic, and I have struggled to find more than 2 feminists who agree on everything...so there's clearly no set of rules to suit everyone.

Forgive me for asking.

moondog · 16/03/2011 20:07

Ah, so is it a choice between being 'conditioned' by society (whatever that means) and being 'conditioned' by a fully qualified professional feminist?

Habbibu · 16/03/2011 20:07

Interesting, but I think I'm going to cheat/chicken out. I've had guttate psoriasis over a lot of my body since I was 16, and have long since learned to embrace it - I never feel the need to cover it up or treat it, save for one interesting summer where I had an all over tan courtesy of the NHS. It's actually given me a good body image - hard to get really bothered about wibbly thighs when you know people are wondering if you're contagious, so I've felt kind of immune for some time.

Having said all that, although I've not got into a tizz if I've forgotten to shave legs/armpits, I do prefer them that way (with a big nod to cultural conditioning, I suppose much as I prefer tea with milk and queuing) and am going to use my big red spots as an alternative "imperfection" badge.

BooBooGlass · 16/03/2011 20:07

Confrontational much moondog?

Habbibu · 16/03/2011 20:08

Well, moondog, I suppose the point about leaving hair on (if you ignore my last post!) is that your hair just grows, so leaving it is the default, and removing it is cultural conditioning.

LadyOfTheManor · 16/03/2011 20:09

"Whatever that means".

From what I've gathered, it means being forced to fit in with particular ways of behaving (wearing pink, playing with dolls, being exploited to hair/make up/page 3 etc).

You can't be conditioned by a feminist, as there isn't a set of hard fast rules in order to qualify being a feminist. (? can you?)

Habbibu · 16/03/2011 20:10

LOTM, surely asking about something you don't know much about is absolutely the right thing to do? I can't see anything wiser than acknowledging what you don't know and asking about it - in that spirit there's no such thing as a stupid question.

Habbibu · 16/03/2011 20:11

Well, I suppose you can be conditioned by any given individual with a forceful enough personality, but that would not be being conditioned into feminism per se, just that one person's take on it.

LeninGrad · 16/03/2011 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyOfTheManor · 16/03/2011 20:12

Yes I thought so. I didn't want to seem like I was "taking the piss" I am just genuinely interested...but it's no problem. I could always read a website I guess.

Prolesworth · 16/03/2011 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LadyOfTheManor · 16/03/2011 20:12

Thanks Lenin.

PeterAndreForPM · 16/03/2011 20:12

People, it's light hearted

nobody is saying you have to let your legs resemble a forest

it's opt-in only

if you don't wanna join in, go and find something else to do

PeterAndreForPM · 16/03/2011 20:13

I am hoping to have plaits protruding from between my shirt buttons within the week

Camerondiazepam · 16/03/2011 20:14

Ha, I'm happy to have hairy legs as long as I've got a nice flat tum?

There's something about that that doesn't sit quite right with me, not sure why. I haven't done anything with my Dennis Healey eyebrows for some time, and as a result I've decided I can't wear my glasses to work, I have to wear my contacts. Same if I'm spotty. (God I sound GORGEOUS don't I?!) I feel I've got a certain tolerance for looking like a geek, but can't fully embrace it. I think the same would go for the hair - legs ok, armpits not so much, pubes poking out of me cossie - no way. I never wear makeup anyway and get my hair cut when it gets on my tits (metaphorically, not literally) so I don't exactly embrace the whole plastic princess thing.

I'm really interested in this thread but not sure I've got it.

MummyBerryJuice · 16/03/2011 20:14

Ah but Dilys I have long hair and do none of those things either (except of course for MN meet-ups when I get the BBH out and slap on some make-up Grin) AND only have it cut twice a year.

DirtyMartini · 16/03/2011 20:15

LOTM, I wouldn't let moondog worry you - it looks like he/she sees you as a possibly easier target on this thread because you have been honest about having questions/uncertainties.

Moondog, could you stop being an arse on a nice friendly thread please? or does it bother you for some reason to see people airing their thoughts on this issue?

claig · 16/03/2011 20:15

I'm going to stop having a wash in the morning. That's more au naturel. Washing is also probably cultural conditioning.

Original poster
sethstarkaddersmackerel · 16/03/2011 20:16

Cameron, IKWYM.
it may be that I currently feel like I would be perfectly comfortable having hairy legs because I have some really nice dresses.

OP posts:
Habbibu · 16/03/2011 20:17

True, claig, but possibly for both sexes?

moondog · 16/03/2011 20:18

Does it bother you DM if not everyone claps their hands excitedly and goes 'Oooh yes, I'm going to let my eyebrows go really bushy and to hell with those split ends!'

Habbibu · 16/03/2011 20:18

seth, do you live in the land of maxi dresses?

Habbibu · 16/03/2011 20:18

There's an option in the middle moondog where you neither enthuse nor snipe...

moondog · 16/03/2011 20:19

'You can't be conditioned by a feminist, as there isn't a set of hard fast rules in order to qualify being a feminist. (? can you?)'

Well Lady, how can you be conditioned by society then? Where are the hard and fast rules therein?

PeterAndreForPM · 16/03/2011 20:19

go away, moondog, your presence is jarring

find someone else to dazzle with your repartee Hmm

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