Resisting femininity experiment - who's in?

[sethstarkaddersmackerel]

I was thought-provoked by the 'I'm a feminist but....' thread, particularly Dittany's posts, in which she talked about women who choose not to 'perform femininity'.

I posted on the other thread that I hugely object to all that bikini-line business but do still shave my legs. Am not sure why I do this, so I think I'm going to stop and see how it feels. It felt like a major issue when I was 20 or so but I actually suspect not shaving them now would make me feel more, rather than less, confident.

So I wondered if anyone else was thinking about giving up any beauty practices or other elements of compulsory femininity and would like to do it together and see how it feels.

this is not a competition - if you decide after a day you hate it and can't live without it, fine, but it would be really interesting to hear about, and I think it could advance our understanding of how this all works.

anyone else in?

btw, I am in a vile mood today so if anyone wants to come along to the thread and tell us we are just falling into the trap of thinking all feminists have to have hairy legs, or that actually they wax everything and are a still better feminist than meeeee, I will tell them to fuck off because if you don't 'get' this I can't be bothered explaining, either you get it or you don't

BD - can you please come here for a minute before I hide this thread -
I didn't say hairy arms makes a person ugly ( how can what you have under your arms change your face ? ) - I said the sight of hairy armpits on a woman is revolting - too completely different things. and I didn't say women who don't shave smell - I said the hair traps sweat ( which it does ) and can lead to increased body odour. as for the lazy thing - well, yes - I'm not denying that one - it's all about first impressions - if you catch sight of a woman with hairy arms and legs you make a split second judgement - I haven't got time for deep feelings - ' oh I bet she's a feminist on a mission - good for her ' - the split second judgement is - 'ugh' - I'm very sorry about that, but that's how it is - for most people.

I hope that's cleared things up

Arf at 'Amazing-Non-Sleeping-Toddler' way back (just catching up). I have Incredible-Feeding-All-Night 10 mo so while she's asleep I'm laying there thinking 'pleeeeeease get off and let me sleep'.

Love the idea that sometimes life is hard and we're allowed to look a bit shit Lenin. Is this what you had in mind when you ruined my patriarchal tweezers? It's very liberating. I think part of my issue is that all the other women in my antenatal group are a size 6 and have been very routine led with their dcs so I'm quite conscious of appearing to be the mad hippy, sling wearing, breastfeeding one whose hair is a mess and that isn't how I'm accustomed to seeing myself so it's been a bit of a shock.

I think I want to lose the baby weight to be fit and healthy. Hmmmmmmm. Not sure.

'Avoid adverts too - I just wrote a huge post but the patriarchy deleted it.'

I've just found the line I can't cross - a Good Bra.
Even though I know it is all about distorting the natural shape of mature women's bodies so that they look just-post-pubescent, which is not something of which I approve, I am not ready to abandon my Rigby & Peller scaffolding yet.

this must be my equivalent of other people's moustaches and chin hairs.

I really recommend this book, Carmina, it is terrific.

oh that's horrible Engelbert! I'm so sorry xxx

Cb you keep threatening to go away. I fear though, that you are stuck with us and us with you like that parable/myth/story about the bloke who has to go around with an old bloke on his back for reasons I can't quite remember. Something to do with a beach?

Or an albatross. Maybe an albtross is better?

Or a straggly chin hair that you can't see but we all can. There could be one you know. :)

Reading back, Unrulysun, I think carmina only came on this thread to piggyback on moondog, so your analogy is perfect.

She just wants more book recommendations, I think. Living Dolls

oops, that should say 'Living Dolls is really good.'

SSM the matriarchy broke my tweezers too. If that gets out of this thread I'm going to be hard pressed to defend it

(sorry to hijack the thread for a moment)

Lenin - I want to know about the rights a civil partnership confers on you. Is it the same as marriage in all but name? I'm really interested in the rights wrt children. Do you have parental rights over your partner's children?

if this thread gets to 1000 and we have to start a new one we'll call it 'Resisting compulsory femininity' in acknowledgement of the posts earlier back about reclaiming femininity.

shaved armpits are so unfeminine.

Be honest, seth, when do you ever actually look at another woman's armpits anyway?

I think the bra/braless thing depends on how big they are really. My PhD supervisor (and staunch feminist) never wore a bra, but she is as flat as a pancake.... I sometimes don't bother at the weekend (depends what I am wearing), but do for work.....(why is that?)

engelbert :(

Bras are actually very useful items - I have never quite understood the bra burning as shorthand for feminism thing because I don't see them as forced on us by the patriarchy so much as a useful piece of clothing often made by women for women. I have 34J boobs at the moment due to breastfeeding (34G/H normally) so they are one of the few items of clothing that make my life completely better rather than giving me feelings of 'i look too fat/too thin/too sallow/too washed out/too smart/too casual' like most other clothes. Both Rigby & Peller and Bravissimo were started by women, so I just buy my bras from them (and they're the only ones that make my size anyway) :)

I can see the issue with them keeping women's breasts looking 'pert', seth, never mind the issues with enclosing them in porn-fantasy black lace etc. but when your boobs are my size, pert is good as it actually means 'well-supported' and 'non-backache inducing'. I do quite like a pretty bra (guilty secret) and love showing off a good bit of cleavage. This is partly because I find it hard to find tops to contain them and partly because my DH loves my breasts in all their overly massive, saggy, leaky, nipple-hair glory :) both of which are perfectly valid reasons for showing off cleavage, but also, I shamefacedly admit, partly because it is one of the few areas I can compete in the sexy woman stakes when out and about (which makes me not that far removed from Katie Price and is something I probably need to examine more closely at some point, I think)

LOL! I guess it is also to stop being stared at!

it certainly does feel very tight when I put it on. They're no more comfortable than corsets really (I used to wear historical costume quite a lot in my historical re-enactment days, was not a Goth or into S&M or anything).
thanks for the encouragement Dittany, I may try doing without for a day or two for experimental purposes.