Resisting femininity experiment - who's in?

[sethstarkaddersmackerel]

I was thought-provoked by the 'I'm a feminist but....' thread, particularly Dittany's posts, in which she talked about women who choose not to 'perform femininity'.

I posted on the other thread that I hugely object to all that bikini-line business but do still shave my legs. Am not sure why I do this, so I think I'm going to stop and see how it feels. It felt like a major issue when I was 20 or so but I actually suspect not shaving them now would make me feel more, rather than less, confident.

So I wondered if anyone else was thinking about giving up any beauty practices or other elements of compulsory femininity and would like to do it together and see how it feels.

this is not a competition - if you decide after a day you hate it and can't live without it, fine, but it would be really interesting to hear about, and I think it could advance our understanding of how this all works.

anyone else in?

btw, I am in a vile mood today so if anyone wants to come along to the thread and tell us we are just falling into the trap of thinking all feminists have to have hairy legs, or that actually they wax everything and are a still better feminist than meeeee, I will tell them to fuck off because if you don't 'get' this I can't be bothered explaining, either you get it or you don't

I have seen an old photo of some 'maiden aunts' of my dad's and always felt very sad for them. They were not free in any way, shape or form compared to my freedom, despite their luxuriant eyebrows and presumably untouched other body hair. They were clearly not even free to slap on a bit of lipstick, as that would have made them look like loose women back in those days.

There's more to freedom and feminism than what's on the surface. Part of why the aunts remained 'maiden' and completely dependent on their father for their entire lives was their limited education and a 'station' in life that prevented them from marrying anyone they might have loved or working for a living, because the genteel occupations that they might have been allowed to do required more of an education or training than they had been given, and didn't pay well enough to allow independence.

Having said all that I never wear heels, skirts or dresses, or do much shaving. But since I bear a resemblance to the maiden aunts I 'improve' my face somewhat, and I always wear sunscreen/moisturiser.

'There's more to freedom and feminism than what's on the surface.'

I don't think anyone has suggested otherwise.

LG - I don't want to bore you ( further ) but I was talking in general and not about anyone on this thread. Hairy armpits can ( generally speaking ) make you smell more than if you'd shaved - plus they just look horrible. ( in my opinion )

& All this 'resisting femininity' is a little child like don't you think? - middle aged women acting like rebellious teenagers, - "hey - look at me with my hairy legs - ain't I just so unconventional" >

Yes of course carmina - it's really childlike to question what is considered feminine in a patriarchal society

I wish I could join you but my self-esteem isn't strong enough; I can't bear the thought of standing out any more than I already do.

Carmina?

Yes, I'd really like to knowwhy men areallowed them and we aren't. Interestingly (although obviously only anecdotal) my husband and father, neither if who shaves under their arms, have no need for deodorant and my mum (who shaves religiously) and I (erratic shaver) both have really strong personal aromas

I'm struck how on both this board and some breastfeeding threads, perfectlyamicable conversations amongst like-minded people are infiltrated by others who are determined to prove them wrong. Strange.

This is not a debate. It an exploration of an interesting symptom of our (patriachal) society.

I can't see how this is so difficult to understand.

MC...why do you stand out, love ?

My nipple hair has a very blunt edge and it is very black

wtf ?

I don't even have black hair, I am a mouse

Lacuna - I totally agree. I love it when DH is a bit sweaty and his horrid, chemically deodorant smell has worn off! Very sexy indeed! And that is not the same as the stale smell of old BO.

Carmnina - thankfully, I don't think many people on this thread give a flying fuck about your opinion, so don't expect your comments to make an ounce of difference to whether or not they decide to take up the challenge!

carmina just wants to licky-licky moondog

it's a bit sad, really

PAforPM - because I'm 6 foot tall and look a little odd.

Carmina we can't help it if you smell. Maybe you're supposed to smell like that. We can't possibly know 'cos it's t'internet.

Please answer Dittany's question?

MC, I am a tall gal, too

I am 5ft 10

my nipple hair may reach 5ft 10 before it is done growing, I fear

I will have to wear it as a scarf

Oh, and I've been doing a lot of thinking about this today.

Although I don't really groom, I've always seen it as a personal failure, a weakness and symptom of my general laziness (which it s of course ) I'm going to endeavour to embrace my unkemptness.

I will, however, continue to use large amounts of expensive smellies as I adore gorgeous scents.

I don't think dh believes me when I tell him I like him a bit sweaty.
or maybe he thinks it is some weird degrading kink and he shouldn't pander to it.

It has to be said though, I'm never particularly 'groomed'.

(scuttled over to the words-you-can-only-use-if-you're-over-35 thread to add "scent")
Thanks MBJ!

Nipple hair scarves? I like it. Certainly more original than cupcakes and bunting.

I don't think this thread was a call to (hairy) arms. Just an exploration. As I said earlier, unless I know what the alternative is really like (for the issues that are in my control), how can I say that I am doing something out of choice? That's not to say that I always try out the alternative, but it's certainly an interesting experiment. It's nice to read that lots of people don't give a fuck. And to see other people's reactions irl. Or lack of them.

PA, me too re the black hair.

My single big chin hair is black as pitch, totally different

Weird weird weird how threatened some folk are by this thread. Cannot understand it.

childish to not shave my legs??