Swearing - help me express how I feel please

[beijingaling]

I'm new to feminism and feminist thinking but keen to learn more especially with a baby DD. This is my first feminism thread.

I have always disliked words like bitch, cow, cunt, whore, etc. IMO they are far worse than any 'male equivalent.'

It seems like insults fall broadly into 3 cagagories: animal: bitch, cow = you're an animal and, worse, a female animal.
Body part: cunt, twat, tit = ?
Promiscuous= you are worthless unless you're a virgin/faithful wife.

The one I struggle with is the second. What is it that makes it SO offensive to be called a female body part?

Also, how do I call someone on using this language? Dss is 13 and brought up in a strongly patriarchal society and I want to have the amo to deal with things as they come up.

I'm going to be watching this thread. I know that there have been debates amongst feminists to reclaim the word 'cunt', so I guess the issue of words like this has been discussed plenty of times before. I look forward to reading one on here!

Having said that, I'm not offended by swearing that isn't intended to offend, and it has nothing to do with patriarchy, I think, to be polite and not be unkind or insulting to someone whatever insult you use! If someone ever spoke to me like that, I like to think I'd be able to give them a withering look and say politely that there is no need to be so rude, simply talking to me nicely about whatever the issue is will suffice and achieve far more than insults.

I've not had any of these insults said about me to my face. I suppose I mean the low level nastiness you hear from most people like, "She's such a bitch/cow/slag." I rarely also hear these words used to describe men unless the men are gay.

Am I just being really sensitive? Is it actually not a feminist issue? Is it not actually an issue at all?

welcome to the topic, Beijingaling

yes it is an issue, yes it is a feminist issue, and no you are not being oversensitive. It is one of the ways we see misogyny in action.

I think your analysis is spot on actually.

I think what makes it so offensive to be called a cunt or twat is that it reduces you to a sexual function and suggests you are no more than your (despised) vagina. Then if a man is called that he is being called not only a body part but a woman's body part which is worse.

There are gendered (usually) insults used to men too. It would be rare to call a woman an asshole, a bastard, and certainly not a prick.

"I asked for an extra day off, but my boss decided to be a [bad word] about it."

Words from two different lists according to the gender of the boss?

Or is this all just a load of bollocks?

I am indeed shocked--shocked! every time I see the word "bollocks" used here, where people ought to know better.

But that's a bad comparison, as "bollocks" is unique, with a meaning as something worthless. "That's just a bunch of old tits" would get you some strange looks.

And I don't know, perhaps we could say that even if bits of the male anatomy used as obscenities are less shocking, that's because they're more familiar, and hence devalued. Less shocking in use, but maybe saying that they have less importance.

I think the reason that the words prick, bollocks etc are more familiar and therefore less shocking, is because they are more acceptable because they refer to male body parts than female ones.

In other words, it is the very fact that you're referring to the female sexual organ, which makes it so outrageous in the first place.

Well yes. Interesting question though--if female parts are outrageous, is it because it's referring to a horror that should never be mentioned, or because it's referring to something sacred that should never be mentioned? Or just possibly both?

Whereas when it's men, it's just men. A bit naughty, but ho hum.