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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Milk - am I wrong to find this phrase really horrible?

70 replies

Janos · 06/03/2011 11:34

A male friend used this phrase to describe someone and I pulled them up on it.

They seem to think it's harmless, is in fact a compliment and I'm completely overreacting but I really, really don't like it - in fact I
think its a really horrible way to refer to women.

Apparently this makes me over-sensitive and easily offended! I don't think I am...am I?

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RealityIsKnockedUp · 06/03/2011 11:35

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thefinerthingsinlife · 06/03/2011 11:36

MILK? what does it mean?

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Janos · 06/03/2011 11:43

Bloody hell, I mean MILF not MILK!

That'll teach me to type in a temper.

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StealthPolarBear · 06/03/2011 11:44

lol at MILK - maybe a slightly less extreme version of MILF
But no yanbu

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StickyProblem · 06/03/2011 11:47

I think it's vile. Such a disgusting phrase, but because it's referred to by initials people seem to use it without thinking.

If you wanted to shame someone, you could fix them with a stern stare and say "MILF? Do you mean Mother I'd Like To Fuck?........ Classy." and walk away.

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Janos · 06/03/2011 11:52

Lol @ Stealth :)

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Janos · 06/03/2011 12:01

I can't quite explain why I find it so unpleasant though.

Maybe someone more articulate can help?

One reason is I feel like its a way of reducing women to the status of a thing, or non-person. Does that make sense?

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dittany · 06/03/2011 12:22

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shmoz · 06/03/2011 12:26

lol @ dittany

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AyeRobot · 06/03/2011 12:27

In addition to all the great points already made, there is also an insinuation that only some mothers are worthy of the Almighty Penis.

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claig · 06/03/2011 12:27

agree with dittany. It is a highly offensive term, but is now slowly being used as if it is a comic type of term, thus allowing it to become more widespread

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Janos · 06/03/2011 12:27

MILP - I like that Dittany, maybe I'll use it.

I asked him if he would like to hear his own mother described as a 'milf'.

No reply to that one, oddly enough.

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StealthPolarBear · 06/03/2011 12:29

and it implies (to me anyway) that mums are usually people you wouldn't want to F (as well as your own, obviously I understand that!!)

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dittany · 06/03/2011 12:31

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Janos · 06/03/2011 12:32

You're right claig, it's become regarded as a bit of joke.

Its supposed to be a compliment, apparently.

There's nothing wrong with a genuine compliment. I just don't see what's complimentary about it.

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claig · 06/03/2011 12:36

It started in porn, then was picked up by these teen Hollywood movies, and it is from there that people are picking it up as a comic type of term, without even realising what it means and how offensive it is

Here is one of these teen movies, called "MILF"

www.imdb.com/title/tt1730704/

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Janos · 06/03/2011 12:42

Funny (and not funny ha ha) that you make that comment about porn Dittany. In this case I think your observation is spot on.

Porn mags seem to encourage this sort of puerile, sniggering attitude to women (I've seen a few).

claig, yuck @ that film.

He did actually say it wasn't offensive cos they mentioned it in some American teen comedy

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TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 06/03/2011 12:45

"Yes it's a horrible phrase. You could always counter with MILP - Misogynist I'd like to punch." Brilliant.

But I come at it the other way - it implies women who have children are usually considered sexually undesirable so they've had to coin a special phrase for the rare exceptions.

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MarshaBrady · 06/03/2011 12:48

Janos haha at Milk, blame it on the iphone autocorrect

It is pretty bad. But worse at is becoming so standard.

Do people think that things are more sexualised now for girls than it was for us? I can't say really as I went to a disciplined boarding school (and there were the odd over the top girls but mostly very good and academic, so probably not the norm). And I don't have a girl yet so can't really compare, is there a societal shift?

I'm thinking of the facebook stuff, posing, photos looking 'sexy' etc

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StealthPolarBear · 06/03/2011 12:50

" it implies women who have children are usually considered sexually undesirable so they've had to coin a special phrase for the rare exceptions"

that's exactly what I was tryng to say - very badly

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Janos · 06/03/2011 12:53

I think it is worse MarshaBrady.

I'm in my mid 30s and when I was a teen porn wasn't everywhere (it did exist of course just a lot harder to get hold of). The attitudes were still there of course.

Nowadays it's easily accessible and there is some really nasty stuff out there too :(

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TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 06/03/2011 12:54

Yes, you did Stealth - I was thinking that Dittany's point about motherhood placing you off limits sexually is just another extension of misogyny - the angel / whore stereotype.

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MarshaBrady · 06/03/2011 12:57

I think it may be worse too. Something about being aware of being a 'package' argh. That x-factor stuff. Being aware of looking sexually attractive. Possibly linked to actually seeing images of oneself on the internet a lot.

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StealthPolarBear · 06/03/2011 12:57

Thank goodness - was starting to worry that I sounded as though I was in the "it's a compliment really" camp :o

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MarshaBrady · 06/03/2011 12:58

I mean facebook for that last post...

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