Milk - am I wrong to find this phrase really horrible?

[Janos]

A male friend used this phrase to describe someone and I pulled them up on it.

They seem to think it's harmless, is in fact a compliment and I'm completely overreacting but I really, really don't like it - in fact I

think its a really horrible way to refer to women.

Apparently this makes me over-sensitive and easily offended! I don't think I am...am I?

'Yank males are exporting their hatred of women over here.'

It's globalisation, Hollywood and the internet

Yeah ensure. It's dehumanising.

MILF horrible obv

Cougar gets up my nose. I guess the "original" was samantha from sex and the city, then there is the courteney cox show. It pisses me off on so many levels. Firstly these women are very attractive, why is it so surprising that they want to sleep with young men and young men want to sleep with them? The second is that I see the surprise about people like barbara windsor and joan collins having much younger husbands (not that it is an eyebrow-raiser when men do it) but this term seems to be applied to anyone over about 30 - women going out with men when they're 30 is hardly big news is it surely? Women over 30 are not over the hill FFS that a special name needs to be given to the ones who are still hitting the town. The whole thing is baffling and odd and unpleasant, and totally shows up the whole idea from hollywood films and shows that women have to be categorised, we all must be two dimensional "types" who never stray from expected behaviour, so that men know exactly where they are with them.

I mean as much as I think about women like babs and joan "why not" I can see in our society that their choice of mate is unusual and attracts attention. To extend that surprise to all women over the age of about 30 is baffling to me and shows that we have the foot on reverse big-time in terms of equality and what society thinks of gender roles.

What I dislike about the phrase 'cougar' is the predatory aspect of it and all that implies.

And yeah, we don't have an equivalent of 'cougar' for men who consistently go for younger women.

Why is that I wonder?

Mother I'd like to kiss!

Outrageous!

But if by any chance you meant MILF then no, YANBU. It's not a compliment that some random bloke fancies fucking you, it really isn't. And I think he should keep his bodily desires to himself.

It also makes the woman sound a bit laughable. Eurgh

Its a bit depressing how much nastiness (for want of a better word) is behind all this, isn't it.

You start talking about it all this other stuff comes out.

Fwiw, I asked round my female friends some of who are mums and some who aren't. Surprise surprise, none of them like it.

So how come it's supposed to be a compliment..I mean, where the hell did that idea come from?

@ Dittany.

MILP added to dictionary.

Orm, I know...bit of an unfortunate typo!

Sorry all if I sound ranty btw, this is something that really riles me.

MILK is even ruder than MILF i think.

it stands for Mother I'd Like to Know. ie. an average looking woman who they would never consider fucking but will condescend to talk to, like they themselves are some kind of adonis.

SardineQueen that is one of my issues as well. Why does everyone go on and on and on and on about Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher - making jokes about her being his mum etc etc. She is only 15 years older than him - Brad is 13 years older than Angelina but no-one mentions that. No-one raises an eyebrow at George Clooney (b 1961) engaged to a woman born in 1978 or Scarlett Johannson (1984) going out with Sean Penn (1960) but his ex-wife gets dragged over the coals for dating younger men.

Actually, not sure why I'm apologising as I'm not sorry at all! Bad habit.

Interesting point, bamboo, although not something that had crossed my mind tbh.

I wonder if some people find the idea of a high status, wealthy, independant woman choosing a younger husband threatening in some way?

It's a bit challenge to the patriarchal status quo isn'it it - a mere woman being able 'pick and choose' in the way high status men have always been able to do.

Urgh, typo city.

I mean independent woman, big challenge and isn't it!

It's very reducing.

Oh look! There's a woman who is undoubtedly a mother, might well be interesting, funny, intelligent, well-read, dynamic etc etc but the only thing the bloke is interested is the fact that she is still fuckable inspite of being a mother.

Whoop-de-frigging-dooo!

After all a woman is so much more worthwhile if a man finds her fanciable.

Janos - I think there's absolutely no doubt whatsoever that a woman who is sexually and socially confident enough to be shagging a much younger man, is a big threat to the patriarchy.

That's why they have to invent special hate-terms for it, to make it clear to women that if they dare to do it, they will be stigmatised. Cougar exists for the same reason slapper exists - to inhibit women from enjoying themselves sexually in a way that is unlicensed by the patriarchy.

Another part of the term which I find unsavoury is the way that it reduces the woman to a passive state. She is the one being fucked, by the male who chooses to fuck her.

Also, the use of the word "mother" makes us think of older more mature women, as if they should be grateful for the attention.

I'm a mother and I'm 26. Would be offended if someone used that term about me as it would reduce me to an object worthy of no more than a pity fuck I may or not want.

Teenage simpering term.

Oh I love MILP!!! I am so going to say that next time I am exposed to the vile MILF term.

Ha! Found the meaning of MILP now Brilliant!