Milk - am I wrong to find this phrase really horrible?

[Janos]

A male friend used this phrase to describe someone and I pulled them up on it.

They seem to think it's harmless, is in fact a compliment and I'm completely overreacting but I really, really don't like it - in fact I

think its a really horrible way to refer to women.

Apparently this makes me over-sensitive and easily offended! I don't think I am...am I?

There is that aspect of it too which I hadn't thought of - mums not being 'sexy'. It's bloody ridiculous. If it was true the world would be full of only-child families.

I've not really thought about it that much, but to me it sounds like a sort of Mrs Robinson thing, whispered by teenage boys between themselves.

ie most mothers of teenage boys are regarded as in a different world from the girls they usually fancy, but the occasional one might for some reason seem appealing - perhaps because she tries to be appealing to teenage boys, perhaps through no intention of her own - and so they accredit her this grand accolade of being 'someones mum' - yuk! - who is nevertheless still attractive enough for them to fantasise about.

I didn't realise it was a porn term. I always considered it a teenage word, and therefore worthy of a patronising 'ah, how sweet, now fuck off'

'Mothers used to be off limits to this kind of stuff too. Having children offered a certain entitlement to respect. Now every woman is back in one big fuckability/unfuckability pool.'

I think dittany is right about this. But I don't think it is because men thought that mothers were unsexy. I think they were off limits because they were married to other men and had children. Now any man feels he has the right to fuck any woman, including another man's wife.

It is a teen phrase isn't it? So married men with children wouldn't use it.

It's from that movie American Pie.

I'm appalled that grown men use this acronym.

Wow, there's a lot to think about here - feels a bit like opening a can of worms.

I think everybody now uses it. A married builder leering out if a passing van would now shout MILF at another woman. It has become so prevalent that even trendy liberal comedians like Jon Stewart on the Daily Show use the term. Soon Homer Simpson will use the term and it will be common in the playground.

I would have thought a comedian would use it only as a ridiculous piece of teen terminology, a bit like 'gay' etc etc. ie taking the piss.

Not actually seriously?

Oh no, it's like building an impossible dam.

No, it is not used as a ridiculous term but as a matter of fact term.

I do think its degrading dittany.

To me it feels creepy, sleazy, nasty. Not a compliment.

If you find older women attractive why not just say so? You don't have to use this horrible term.

"That wasn't my point Tondelay. What I said was that motherhood placed women off limits to this kind of sexual abuse. Being included on the fuckability scale is abusive to women, not a compliment and it's not about our sexuality either, it's about men's."

Not disputing that - I agree with you.

Can I just say at this point - I'm really glad to see it's not just me.

But then I didn't really think it was.

While we're on the subject, I really bloody hate 'cougar' as well.

what's that
(apart from the obvious)

yes I hate cougar too

Tell you what else riles me, the comment was made on fb (bloody fb eh).

One of his other friends (female) was tee-heeing over it, like what a hilarious joke. It makes me so mad when I see women colluding in this sort of thing.

If I can think of a metaphor..it's like someone stamping on your foot and then insisting YOU apologise to THEM. And not only do apologise to them you THANK them for doing it.

It's kind of a synonym for MILF - as in the Courtney Cox series "Cougar Town"

A sexually voracious older woman who preys on (ha ha) younger men.

Are there male equivalents to MILF / Cougar? No that's just a man isn't it...

cougar is another porny term that sounds like a compliment but actually isn't.

It's shorthand for 'predatory older woman'.

Tondelayo put it better than me.

ah - I saw one episode of that courtney cox thig, assumed it was just where she lived :o
wasn't there a cougar film a few years ago? But that was younger women I think?

Of course it is offensive. It's not saying someone looks smart, or attractive, it's saying that you want to fuck someone. Fucking is a bit violent, hard. You want this despite them being a mother, and therefore someone motherly and good.
It's saying you want to make something clean dirty. You want to hurt that aspect of them. Take it away.

That is ignoring the other offensive things involved in the phrase, the fact that all mothers are expected to be this ideal good carer, and the fact that all women are meant to want to be seen as desirable to men above all else.

It keeps women one dimensional, not real people, like men are.