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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Diamonds are a girl's best friend.. Are they???

125 replies

sakura · 08/02/2011 06:03

I'd like to start at thread about dodgy song lyrics, because songs are everywhere: in shops, on the radio, on TV, on old films; they're the background noise to life, which gives me the sense that they might be a form of brainwashing.

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend"
[No they're not, My best friend-a funny, warm, clever woman- is my best friend]

"ah, brown sugar how come you taste so good? ah, brown sugar just like a young girl should" (Rolling Stones) [Should I? Should girls taste of brown sugar?]

And that's before you get to all the songs about women pining for men who've jilted them, and men trying to get rid of clingy women who can't take the message....

Shows again how those in power get to define current popular ideology by only allowing the worldviews that they like/support/identify with to become public. ANd then everyone belives the patriarchal definition of women, even women themselves..

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 09/02/2011 21:36

And the video makes me think she actually spends the day coping off with a younger man.

marantha · 09/02/2011 21:37

'Under My Thumb' is probably the one that stands out for me so far.
The Rod Stewart one makes me cringe a bit, too, but, in all fairness, I'm sure the lyrics are referring to a young woman - it still makes me squirm, though.

LynetteScavo · 09/02/2011 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo · 09/02/2011 21:47

Oh, yes, marantha, you're right!

LynetteScavo · 09/02/2011 21:47

NO no no no !!!!

I didn't mean that I mean nonsense!!!!!!

belledechocchipcookie · 09/02/2011 21:49

Have you heard the song 'girls fall like domino's?'

LynetteScavo · 09/02/2011 21:58

[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZr0_ic1304 Tammy Winette]

I wanted this as the first song at my wedding. Partly for the shock value for all my feminist relatives (most how whom refused to ever marry) but chickened out.

I was going to wear a big frilly pink dress(this was pre Katie Price), but chickened out of that too. Grin

"Because after all he's just a man"

I've never really known how to take this song...is it the ultimate feminist song in deepest disguise? Hmm Confused

Some how I doubt it, but would like to reclaim it.

LynetteScavo · 09/02/2011 21:58
PaisleyLeaf · 09/02/2011 21:58

I think that the Stones' 'Brown Sugar' one is as much about heroin as the rape of slaves.

BertieBotts · 09/02/2011 22:01

I always think "Good Enough" by Evanescence is desparately sad. I'm a big Evanescence fan and it's painfully obvious when you listen to the lyrics that Amy Lee has experience of an emotionally abusive relationship. (Which I believe is public knowledge anyway.)

This one's particularly sad/chilling because it describes so perfectly the mindset of someone just being drawn into such a relationship, or perhaps re-drawn into one, and yet when she wrote it she described it as a happy song :(

Good Enough

Under your spell again
I can't say no to you
Crave my heart and its bleeding in your hand
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly
Now I can't let go of this dream
I can't breathe but I feel

Good enough
I feel good enough for you

Drink up sweet decadence
I can't say no to you
And I've completely lost myself and I don't mind
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you conquer me completely
Now I can't let go of this dream
Can't believe that I feel

Good enough
I feel good enough
It's been such a long time coming
but I feel good

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall
Pour real life down on me
Cause I can't hold on to anything this good
Enough
Am I good enough
For you to love me too?

So take care what you ask of me
Cause I can't say no

marantha · 09/02/2011 22:05

I don't know about reclaiming, 'Stand By Your Man', but the Blues Brothers does much to take away its potency! I wish I could download what I mean here, have to learn how to do it.

LynetteScavo · 09/02/2011 22:14

Now I remember why we had no evening reception or first dance...because it would have ended up like this, but wilder.

camerondiazepam · 09/02/2011 22:19

There's a Supertramp song I particularly dislike that starts:
Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I've got
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot

Delightful!
Confused

rosieposey · 09/02/2011 22:22

Now this one always used to make me go Hmm when i was 17 ...

Early in the morning i put breakfast at your table,
and make sure that your coffee has its sugar and cream,
your eggs are over easy,
your toast done lighly,
all thats missing is your morning kiss that used to greet me.

Now you say the juice is sour,
it used to be so sweet,
and i cant help but wonder if your talkin' 'bout me.

We dont talk the way we used to talk it hurting so deep,
ive got my pride i will not cry,
but its making me weep.

Im not your superwoman,
Im not the kind of girl that you can let down and think everything is ok,
boy i am only human,
a girl needs more than occasional hugs as a token of love from you to me, ohhh baby.

I fought my way through the rush hour,
trying to make it home just for you,
i want to make sure that your dinner will be waiting for you Hmm

but when you get there you just tell me your not hungry at all,
that youd rather read the paper and you dont want to talk.

And so it goes on, the whole 'your table' thing and making sure his dinner is 'waiting' for him just grates the living shit out of me - in the video she has kids with him as well and i always used to think that she was a massive twat for putting up with someone like him, sort of set the tone for me and men from then on Grin

rosieposey · 09/02/2011 22:23

Gahh sorry i should have said it was Karyn White, Superwoman.

LynetteScavo · 09/02/2011 22:28

rosieposey, I know what you mean.....I once thought it must have been written about my parents marriage, then realised my mohter actually was a superwoman who put up with all this shit, raised 4 children and held down a full time job, so Karyn White should just stop warbling on and get a grip on her superwoman status.

rosieposey · 09/02/2011 22:33

Yep he looked like a spoilt petulant child in the video and all i could think was - get rid - you are superwoman and he's an arse!

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 09/02/2011 23:30

A few more to add to the mix:

The Supremes: Baby Love

Ooh baby love, my baby love
I need you, oh how I need you
But all you do is treat me bad
Break my heart and leave me sad
Tell me, what did I do wrong
To make you stay away so long

Human League: Don't You Want Me

You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, When I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up, and turned you around, Turned you into someone new
Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet
Success has been so easy for you
But dont forget its me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too...

...You think you've changed your mind
Youd better change it back or we will both be sorry

Baby Bird: You're Gorgeous

Y. O. U. R. E. G. O. R. G. E. O. U. S.
Remember that tank top you bought me.
You wrote 'You're Gorgeous' on it.
You took me to your rented motor car and filmed me on the bonnet.
You got me to hitch my knees up and pulled my legs apart.
You took an instamatic camera and and pulled my sleeves around my heart...

...You said I wasn't cheap. You paid me twenty pounds.
You promised to put me in a magazine on every table in every lounge.

Tortington · 09/02/2011 23:32

if i had diamonds they would be one of my bestest friends.

LynetteScavo · 09/02/2011 23:34

I always thought Baby Bird: You're Gorgeous was ironic.

I've no idea why I thought that now. Hmm

LynetteScavo · 09/02/2011 23:39

[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIAnkrPgTvY bloke pining for a woman]

Bye Mate!

And you're right, diamonds are not a girl's best friend. But my best friend did give me a lovely diamond once. He is funny, warm, clever and kind.

Original poster
sakura · 10/02/2011 00:07

know what you mean about driving home for christmas marantha. But there's just something about it that I don't like which reinforces this idea that men go out to conquer the world and women stay at home to tend to the hearth with the kids, of course. And then the undertone that all he needs to do is turn up and Christmas will just be "there" for him, and he'll be the hero for even being there. meanwhile his wife will be working like a blue arsed fly.

OP posts:
Original poster
sakura · 10/02/2011 00:08

I can just imagine him walking through the door with expensive gifts for the kids- an instant hero- while his wife has been trying to keep it all afloat without him ... I know I''m probably reading too much into it, but that's all I can think about when I hear it

OP posts:
skandi1 · 10/02/2011 00:18

OP

the rolling stones song is actually a drug reference to their liking for heroin. nothing to do with women or young girls.

and when your best friend has stolen your man and your life is in tatters at least you can still sell the diamonds....

sethstarkaddersmackerel · 10/02/2011 00:25

you can't say it is nothing to do with young girls just because it means something else too - it's a double meaning, the obvious meaning of the words doesn't magically disappear just because it means something else as well! The whole point about songs like that is that they are taken on two levels, one for the people who are in the know and one for the people who are not.