New(ish) to feminism and want to pack it in already

[AnnieLobeseder]

So while I've always been very much in favour of equal rights, am well educated, work full time, share all childcare and domestic drudgery with DH etc etc, it's only in the last few months, thanks to MN, that I've become more serious about feminism.

I just always had the view that Western women had it pretty good compared to a lot of people out there, laws always seemed to be changing for the better and there wasn't much need to worry about it.

Some feminist thread here convinced me that there is a need for more serious feminist action; even though things are better than ever for women and continue to get better still, there is a long way to go.

BUT - a not insubstantial part of me wishes I'd never had that awakening! Stuff on TV and around me that has never bothered me before is now annoying the hell out of me, which is an unwelcome new source of stress.

And then threads like this one last week, about how women should go back to the kitchen, and this one today, about how we should all be grateful Mrs Wife.

So I have to wonder, how will the cause of women ever progress when even women are so dead set against feminism? Women seem to like being oppressed, and dislike and ridicule feminists for trying to make life better for them.

How do the rest of you cope with these things?!

WoD may I refer you to this post I posted on your thread yesterday. How is it not clear?

Hullygully Tue 01-Feb-11 16:04:59
Ok. Let us be clear:

Feminism is about Equal Rights for Women. For women to be treated and regarded on equal terms as men.

The term "Mrs" denotes possession. You may wish to deny this, but it is the fact and the truth and the historical derivation and provenance.

Ergo "Mrs" or "Miss" are not terms compatible with equality.

Ergo those of us who do not wish to subscribe to the practice associated with being a second class citizen, use "Ms."

WoD - I think you're right to feel that some posters were somewhat attacking of women who use Mrs. I don't think I was - I expressed my opinion that it doesn't help the feminist cause, but made no personal comment about women who do. Others posters said some unpleasant things, like about them all loving fluffy toys (WTF?), but it wasn't me.

Annie, you sound a bit isolated - have you thought about joining one of the national feminist organsations like Fawcett or Object?

Signing up to a specific campaign might help you to focus your anger & give you a realistic target to aim at, together with other like-minded people.

They also give you a free t shirt!

Going back to the OP's questions, I cope as a feminist by not being totally bothered whether other women are feminists, as long as I feel free to live in a feminist way and bring up my daughters in a relatively non-sexist environment, and to challenge sexism where it affects me.

I know that's not enough in wider terms and there's lots of progress to be made, but the fact that I find it personally liberating to live as a feminist is enough to keep me keen.

It helps that I work with a lot of powerful feminist women in an environment where sexism is routinely challenged.

Annie where in Surrey are you? I'm SW London and feeling a bit the same. I think I'm going to join the Fawcett Society - they have some interesting talks coming up. They meet in Farringdon though which is a pain.

For feminist Bingo don't we have to have how stripping is empowering women? :)

Thanks folks, those are all good ideas, and thanks for all the links. I'll have a look at them.

I think if I'm going to have a pet cause it would be women in science and technology, since that's my field, and often a little woman-unfriendly (not over in my side of things but maths and engineering are very male dominated).

I'm in north west Surrey, way out beyond the M25 so London-based stuff is a big schlep for me.

At least women can choose to define themselves by their relationship status. Us men have to call ourselves Mr regardless of whether we're married or not, and we dont have an equivelant to Ms.

that's a joke right, Surreydad?

Mr is the equivalent of Ms

What men don't have is the equivalent of Mrs and Miss because once they hit 18 they're regarded as adults in their own right and the relationship status of a particular individual male is irrelevant to society, as it should be for all human beings