Rejecting Christian Beliefs

[KayHarker]

Don't quite know how to say this, but I guess I need to write it down and maybe get some moral support from someone.

I'm walking away from my Christian faith after about 20 years. I tried extreme patriarchy, and then I tried the more liberal versions, but all they seemed to be were weak attempts to fit a highly patriarchal religion into a cosy harmless box which didn't fit. I still consider myself to be a spiritual person, but I really just have to reject Christian belief because it's so anti-women, and the more I read about feminism, the more I want something different for my daughters.

SAF, that's not my experience of church, though obviously any church is far from perfect. We certainly don't leap on newcomers to go on the creche rota/coffee and tea etc. I'm as far from a '50s oppressed housewife' as you could get. Again, I am sorry that your experience with church has been so dire. :(

But I really want to bring this back to Kay, and do hope that our going off the subject somewhat hasn't upset you at all. I hope that this can be a supportive thread for you.

Ok bad wording. Really meant away from the OP which was asking for support

Kay I hope you are ok. I walked away from the church several years ago. It was a very damaging place to be yet it was still painful to leave. Once I got out I could really see just how oppressive an environment it had been. I think it takes time to make sense of as the church is so full of control and things designed to mess with your head.

I was always validated in my choice to leave by the response I got from Christians, none of whom could actually hear what I was telling them about my experiences. I have never known an environment so lacking in commission as the church.

I think your daughters are lucky to have you.

How's it going Kay?

Not too brilliantly. Dp is a bit cheesed off with me cos he wanted me on board in teaching the girls about their faith, and I feel really bad about not being on board. The older two have really made it their own already so would be very confused about my choices.

Is it going to become a relationship deal breaker do you think, or can he cope with you changing your mind about the teaching of your church? I can imagine the ramifications are going to be pretty big for you.

early days. I really hope not, we've already been throuigh so much and come out on the other side. I kind of feel sorry for him, he must be constantly wondering 'What's next?'

Kay, please don't feel bad about not being on board with teaching your girls to live with no voice.

Apropos of nothing perhaps.

It's difficult having open discussions with people who think the Bible is the infallible and inerrant Word of God that literally does have the ability to judge the soul.

Kay you can tell your husband that if children or teenagers set their mind on learning something, they'll do it regardless of parental input.

This way, it really will be your daughters choice one way or another.

as an outsider, the idea of you having to teach them the faith does sound a teensy bit like indoctrination.

My mother used to take us to church, my father is an atheist. It didn't cause any problems, but that could be because my father was a man.

I mean, men are freer to choose what they want to believe. WOmen are expected to tow the line more, especially their husband's line, when it comes to religion