radio ad for DV

[ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo]

not sure if it is broadcast on uk station sbut i am in NI and the ad is either a man or a woman making excuses for the bruises and injuries they have (there are two ads by the same campaign.) things like "i walked into a door, she didn't mean it etc)

but the voiceover goes on to say that "domestic violence only stops when you report it"

now i know these ads are aiming to encourage anyone who is victim of or suspects DV to pick up the phone, but i can't help thinking that it makes out the victim or suspector (sp?) are responsible for letting it continue.

shouldn't these ads be directed at the abusers? surely they can script the voiceover to be directed at the abuser? something to get into their heads that makes them feel guilty and encourages them to stop and seek help for anger management and support for their victims.

This is an interesting ad directed by Shane Meadows and aimed at teenagers: you can watch two endings, one where the girl is encouraged not to put up with the way the boy is treating her and one where the boy is asked to look at his own actions and reflect on them.

I'd suggest you stop making up figures that are at odds with the researched and published statistics, Dittany, that way you won't be called on to back up your baseless assertions.

SleepingLion, I remember when that ad campaign first ran. I think that was the first time I'd seen any such campaigns that really called on the perpetrator of the abuse to look at their own behaviour. I hope we see more such campaigns.

Dittany, I would love to be able to see where you're coming from on this score. So could you, please, point me to some verifiable statistics that back up your claim that "Men don't make up a sizeable minority of DV victims. There are some men who are victims, but the overwhelming majority of victims are women who are being attacked by their male partners."

I'd really appreciate it and I think it would really help. Thanks.

To answer your points in order:

a) Given the context I do not believe any apology is necessary. Certainly I do not believe I was any ruder than you routinely are to both myself and others.

b) I am demanding nothing. I thought I asked quite politely.

c) I treat other people with at least as much, and typically more, respect and kindness as they show towards me. Man or woman.

d) Thank you for the reminder that I am in the feminism section.

e) I am promoting nothing and I do not follow any particular "men's rights" agenda.

To be honest, until I started seeing it mentioned in this section I'd never even heard of "men's rights". I'm just me, with my own experiences and interests, asking you a question about published statistics on a topic related to the OP. A question that you are, of course, free to answer or not as you wish.

Dittany, feel free to demand an apology as much as you want. But as I believe you've only climbed onto this particular soap-box as a means of avoiding having to back up your baseless assertions and I was not a fraction as offensive as you have been, you're not going to get one.

Let's move on, shall we?

Dittany, do you think the feminism section needs policing in itself? I don't see it as a board that requires a particular kind of behaviour?

Feminism to me is about bringing all kinds of behaviour by women into the light, precisely because women are not abnormal men, not to be denied anything or excused anything because they are defective or lesser in any way.

oh NO sorry I namechanged for another thread, now I can't change back on this thread. Sorry.

I got it from Betty Friedan/TFM. And from the whole principle of consciousness-raising, the whole idea that women's lives are valid, what we feel is valid, what we do is interesting, not necessarily perfect or right; chucking out the whole Angel in the House/women as perfect, strange, other as opposed to human, real, part of the world. I really don't feel it's THAT far from at least some strands of feminism. But fair enough, I do struggle sometimes with why I am still calling myself a feminist, which probably means I am about to join Opus Dei or something.

Is it impossible that domestic violence has changed? That more men are being physically attacked by women?

Snorbs do you have any statistics on the outcomes of the domestic violence incidents described? How many of each sex attacked by the other needed medical treatment, for example?

But that's the thing isn't it, Dittany. You don't debate. You do what you did here at 13:50:11. You throw out bald, loaded statements and then stonewall any attempts to get you to explain what lead you to say that or to otherwise back them up. You then find some reason - you don't like the tone of the questioner, or you accuse them of some agenda, or you simply flat-out refuse - to not answer those questions.

And then you start calling people "misogynist". Which I sometimes suspect, in your mind, means "someone who doesn't instantly agree with Dittany".

If you continue with your usual tactics I'm guessing that your next step will be to start throwing mud around and hoping some will stick.

That's not a debate, that's just brow-beating other people into agreeing with you.

I have no dispute that the majority of DV is male on female and I've never claimed otherwise.

By contrast, it was you who claimed "There are some men who are victims, but the overwhelming majority of victims are women who are being attacked by their male partners" (emphasis mine).

Which is what I called you on. And which I note you have still not produced any statistics to back up. Quelle surprise.

Snorbs, if you 'have no dispute that the majority of DV is male on female' then why are you demanding stats from Dittany? sorry, just don't get it.

Uh-huh. Keep on coming up with those excuses reasons to avoid backing up your baseless and prejudiced assertions. You do it so well.

I'm off to bed as this is getting dull.

dittany and snorbs - you seem to be separating on "a lot" and a "majority", and what proportions are. The stats Snorbs refers to were an education to me a few months ago, and I googled it myself.
and dittany, you are doing exactly what you are accusing snorbs of - manipilating a circumstance to avoid an inabilty to back yourself up with stats/arguemnt, and then claiming a victim status that someone is being rude to you. Now that isn't good.