AIBU to be mildy annoyed at all the christmas cards addressed to Mr and Mrs DHName?

[BlingLoving]

I could put this in AIBU but know that I'd just get a whole lot of "yes, YABU" and I'd like considered opinions!

I briefly, for about 2 weeks, thought I would change my name. But then didn't and made it clear to everyone I hadn't. I have had just ONE christmas card addressed to DH and me by our correct names and it's starting to piss me off.

Part of me thinks I'm being silly, but mostly, I just think it surely is not that hard? Before we were married no one had any problems addressing cards and letters to DH Surname and Bling Loving or even Mr DH Surname and Ms Bling Loving.

I fine it hugely irritating after 10 years marriage but don't say anything because I don't think it's worth jeopardizing friendships over. It ie even more annoying when it's my birthday and it is only me on the card and they still use the wrong name.

My mum is the odd one, she has sais to me that if she had her time again she wouldn't have changed her surname on marriage, yet instead of writing on a card myfirstname mysurname and dhfirstname dhsurname she writes myfirstname and dhfirstname dhsurname.

I am also puzzled by the amount of my friends who when signing their cards put their DH's first name before theirs, even when they are the primary friend. Is this the default? It would never even occur to me to not put my name first unless it was to a relative or old pre-me friend of DH. I do all our cards because DH has illegible handwriting BTW.

I'm sorry; but as a matter of fact marriage most definitely is sexist and patriarchal.
If it were just a case of a man and woman pledging their love in front of witnesses only, maybe not. But it involves a lot more than that. For example, denial of certain benefits and privileges that single people have are denied to the married.
The fact that a woman (and men) can claim half a person's property even if not contributed a single penny in event of divorce-usually in recognition of a wife's unpaid work of childcare.
I am not saying that this is necessarily a bad thing; not at all. Just the way that it is.
Marriage is inherently patriarchal. It was designed to be that way.
To look after the 'little woman' if husband ran off with someone else.

Yes, it can be about that, too.

I got a bit bored with reading ALL the threads and apologise in advance if this has been covered in a posting ive omitted.

It is 'the old fashioned way' to put Mr & Mrs DHname or initial Smith/Whatever.

It is something that was ingrained in the generation above me (now in their 80's).

Bottom line really is .......... whats in a name? Me? I only use my surname (oh no that should be MY EX's SURNAME cos I kept his surname as well as his kids and the house when he left) when necessary. The rest of the time I dont use any surname.

What used to be my bugbear was being called DC1/2/3/4's mother ............. grrrrrr!! I do have a christian name and wanted to be known as a person in my own right.

As for addressing people as Mr & Mrs ***; and not as two different individuals ... it takes up too much space and im too lazy. Dont like it, tough. Break up a friendship cos of it ........ no loss ..... you prob werent much of a friend anyway if this is all your problem is.

I get Mr and Mrs dpsurname and I am not even married to him!! (and he's a Dr and so am I anyway...!) Still think the funniest was years ago when fil was introducing us all to the family and went this is 'bils financee X', this is 'sils finance Y' and this is (looong pause whilst he struggled to think of something) 'dp's friend' ;)