Why is thin ''in''?

[poshsinglemum]

Just wondering really. I have curves but I don't think I am fat yet I feel that I have to diet etc to fit some mysoginistic ideal. Do men really prefer thin women?

Hmm. I am finding it quite a complex issue, so excuse the self-made questions...

Do I think wearing fashion and maintaining a decent size for me, has been oppressive for me? No.

Do I think that women trying to be size 0 to 4 (or whatever) when they are clearly are not meant to be so causes great unhappiness. Yes!

Do I think that dieting stops women from being educated, taking good jobs, working? No.

But the male fashion and advertising industry doesn't have the same effect. I think women are more susceptible to be influenced by it all.

I know it feels like there is a mass of self-hatred, and a mass of energy being wasted to diet. But for each individual person I don't think the time wasted on dieting is very much at all.

So does it oppress them? Not as much as other things, is my answer!

96% of executive directors of the UK's top 100 companies are men.

But this isn't because they expended too much energy dieting....

People only use what they do to sell more stuff.

Dittany would you prefer to be in a world where only real looking models in any size were used and no airbrushing existed?

Fair enough!

Tbh I wasn't really looking forward to plainer people in magazines

How about the fashion industry and designer clothes what would you do with that?

I don't think it's dieting per se.

You need to have a healthy dollop of self esteem and a clear perspective on your flaws/capabilities to get on. If the world concentrates on your looks, you validate yourself by how you rank, lookswise. And a normal woman can never compare well to all the models etc. There is little respect given in every day culture to anything outside of the looks or entertainment industries. But every aspect of a woman's apperance is held up and judged. Look at those magazines that put a big red circle round a dimple of a celeb's cellulite. Abd it's pervasive, no matter how talented a woman is sooner or later it will come back down to your looks.

I'm not saying that's the be all and end all, but I suspect that dynamic is at play for a lot of women, and I believe the young girls that are coming up now will have a harder time than we did, as it's so much prevalent now.

This is garbled and bordering on incoherent, but I hope someone can draw something useful from it.

Fashion contributes very significantly to my personal happiness, both when worn by me and by others. Boringly dressed people make me depressed.

Depressed, Bonsoir? Really??

How in the name of God does that work Bonsoir?

Oh yes, really depressed. I hate ugliness and tedium with a vengeance; beautiful and colourful things make me happy - be that people, fashion, flowers, architecture, food...

It affects your emotions to that extent? rather than just pleasant to see or whatever? Life must be bloody hard.

The fashion and beauty industry doesn't make me unhappy either. I love to look at things which look good too. So images that are beautiful don't make me feel inadequate.

People have to wear something, nothing wrong with good quality wool or well-designed print etc

There is Vogue, then there is Take a Break bleurgh magazine. I know which I would rather look at, I know which I would rather a daughter look at.

I might have a chat about aspirational imagery and advertising however. And point out that even cars are made to look better, more beautiful in adverts, same as clothes.

Gosh no, beautiful people and things don't make me feel inadequate, just uplifted. Ugly people and things though... eeugh.

Crikey.

Just crikey. I don't know what to say.

You're a gas ticket, Bonsoir

Wind up time .

dittany - what do you care about the fashion industry? It isn't doing you any harm unless you have no personal control of yourself (do you have control of yourself?).

Why don't you go and have a nice long bath and do some beauty treatments and generally make the best of yourself? It'll make you happier, I promise

Of course I don't see women only in terms of how they look. What I don't do is discount or dismiss looking good as part of the route to feeling good about oneself! You should try it!

Bonsoir you have said that being around people who are not beautiful / not beautifully dressed makes you feel depressed and miserable.

That is a much larger effect than just "trying to feel good about yourself". Feeling depressed on the basis of being in the company of someone who is not well dressed is really shocking. I keep thinking of all the people who you would take pains to avoid and it's pretty depressing frankly.

Can I also point out that you have no idea whatsoever what Dittany, or anyone else on this thread, looks like. Your assumptions there belie an appalling attitude too.

In my book, the appalling attitude is the lazy/defeatist/denying/envious one displayed by so many posters on this thread towards people who have nice things.