Visual erotica for women

[SparklingExplosionGoldBrass]

Because the discussion on this at Ladyfest was fascinating but didn't go on long enough, I fancy continuing it here.
Soo, iirst off, why aren't there proper erotic magazines (with pictures of naked men in them) for heterosexual women?

I have said enough

If he's a decent intelligent and loving man , he see's what you were, what you are and what you have become...

hahaha @ AF I think you have a gooden..say no more...

Yes but don't we do this for men as well? It's not something confined to women. I am sure (I hope!) that the way I behave towards my DH makes him feel like that. I'm sure it does. To anyone else he is a rather overweight but kindly looking young man, to me he is insanely, wildly attractive. I tell him that, I show him physical affection, I am sure that when I paint a verbal picture of how I see him, it makes him feel much more attractive. I hope so anyway. And he does the same for me. Is that it? i mean that's just about being in a good loving relationship with a decent person who thinks you're hot IYSWIM Nothing specific to women I don't think.

no, not specific to women

very OT again though

I'm not sure I want to hear about your dry spell

I can tell you about mine though! Even when we're in one like now and it's my fault, I know it's just a phase (baby and toddler, work, house is a building site, worn out etc etc) and feel confident that things will pick up once conditions are more favourable, as it were. And I still sort of feel sexy, and that I'm sexual, I just can't be arsed with the actual sex bit...

(SGB will come and tell me off in a minute)

I agree not specific to women...i mean really imagine if sat down and deconstructed your partner not including the deep love,compassion,sexual attraction...

So where does this get us in our consideration of female sexuality and whether generally there is a real difference in what gets the genders going, or whether most people respond as they have been conditioned to?

errm, precisely nowhere

I told you it was OT

I think it's just us, now, shooting the breeze, tbh

did I ever tell you how wonderful my DH was, during my dry spell, btw ?

Well still it's been interesting

How did you get over your dry spell AF? I ask for a friend, you understand.

I think it's probably simply timing, myself. Like, when the children can get up and get their own breakfast, maybe then....

I fantasise about a night away in a hotel, no children. A lie in. Cooked full english breakfast. No work on the phone or builders knocking down my walls.

Now that would get me in the mood

yes, the breakfast thing helps

not having limpet children helps

getting over the age of 35 definitley helps (a hormonal thing, I think)

my libido from 35-44 has gone through the roof...I think its the "last chance saloon effect"

Is this where the idea comes from that women have to be "romanced" and have all special things happen in order to get "in the mood"?

When in fact we're just knackered?

I'm 36 BTW

I don't do "romance"

am not soppy

Before DH if someone tried to woo me with flowers and protestations of undying love I would < boak >

DH is not especially romantic, but is a great shag

Do you know what I mean though.

My idea about going away for the weekend could be construed as wanting to be "wooed" and it all having to be "special" with conditions all just so before I deign to drop my knickers.

When in actual fact it's just because I need a good sleep and a break from the kids.

I wonder if a lot of female wants/needs/behaviour gets accidentally-on-purpose misconstrued in this way.

yes, I know what you mean

in my very-young-kids stage a "weekend away" was much anticipated in a "ooo lots of sex and unrealistic anticipation" kinda way

in reality, we were both so knackered we would have a massive row during dinner, go back to hotel room and spend rest of night on either end of a lovely large bed

what a waste !

On that note DH has come home from work and we're going to bed... imagine will be asleep in 5 secs flat!

have fun

I think I need to go back and read this whole thread in order to see how the hell it evolved from the discussion on page one to !

Tiredness is the ultimate passion killer. And again. expectation.

When you twig it's been x-amount of days weeks months time since your last shag, it becomes a chore, like when the sun shines dimly through the windows and you realise you haven't cleaned them in ages.

Last time we had sex I threw up and then fainted. I was PG at the time and it did something unexpected to my blood pressure. Kind of killed it for both of us. He hasn't asked since. I suppose I ought to make a move but I'm so knackered with a small baby I can't really be arsed. Shame, I miss my libido. Seems to have eloped along with my flat stomach and the ability to remember what I went in the kitchen for.........

BB and