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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

I've just lost my job...

73 replies

happiestblonde · 18/10/2010 11:21

Because I'm 'too emotional'.

Okay... I work in an all male office and over the 6 weeks I've been there I cried once - no noise, no fuss, a couple of silent tears that i very quickly cleaned up - but my boss called me in to his office to see the problem, I told him I was just a bit concerned that I wouldn't progress as quickly as I want to but since then have been fine.

Today I was called in and fired with no explanation aside I am 'too emotional' so it won't work out. This is shite and now I'm double guessing myself and couldn't express any emotion as they fired me because that would just prove them right.

I thought fair enough, I must be, fuck this is awful... but my lovely DP who is an instinctive feminist thinks that clearly the company expanded too quickly (true) and as I was taken on at a higher basic than the men who were at the same time (I have a Masters degree and better past experience) they are cutting costs and throwing the standard line men can always throw at women that they cannot respond to without looking hysterical. He is livid, I just feel sick.

Any thoughts? I am not trying to claim that I am wonderful and they shouldn't have fired me, just trying to make sense of a horrible and unexpected situation.

OP posts:

Tortington · 18/10/2010 11:24

can you fire someone becuase they are too emotional.

too emotional and it was affecting work?

have they given you anything in writing and what does it say?

Tortington · 18/10/2010 11:24

i tend to cry in the bogs

mor professinal that way!

DeadPoncy · 18/10/2010 11:26

Are you in a union? If so, your first step should be to talk to them.

Check your contract. Even if you are in the probation period, there must be a procedure to follow, not just: "(1) scent weakness. (2) sack. (3) sigh with relief." That is not the way things should work.

Talk to HR about probation period, etc.

It is really outrageous that he thinks he can tell you to go without any sort of formal appraisal.

Ask your boss to put the "emotional" reason in writing, or you won't accept it. What a bitch he is!

Really quite angry, hearing this.

Original poster

happiestblonde · 18/10/2010 11:30

No I am not with a union - ironically they're against what I thought I stand for ('manning up' not whining - what a fucking joke) and I never signed a contract because they didn't offer one, I've only been there 6 weeks.

I wasn't properly crying it was literally a couple of silent tears of frustration. The only other time I was sad (first argument with DP ever and thought I was losing everything that matters to me) I did go to the bathroom and the bosses weren't even there.

I literally feel sick and don't know what to do aside obviously get a new job and move on but I wanted to know whether anyone, like my lovely supportive DP who has so much more faith in me than I do, thinks it's out of order to throw the emotional card at a woman you want to get rid of for whatever reasons entirely out of the blue (when I've just pulled in major new clients)

OP posts:

DeadPoncy · 18/10/2010 11:38

Talk to HR anyway. They must have standard procedures/contracts, and even if you don't have a contract, you must have a payslip, which means you have been paid for work provided, therefore a contract. Otherwise, what have they paid you for; is it blackmail?!

Your acceptance/offer letter could also have some details about probationary period.

Seriously, go to HR now. They can't collude with illegal behaviour; they will have to make the company act properly.

Original poster

happiestblonde · 18/10/2010 11:39

There is no HR, I work(ed) in recruitment

OP posts:

sethstarkaddersmummyreturns · 18/10/2010 11:40

oh no! this is awful!

no advice, just on your behalf.

DeadPoncy · 18/10/2010 11:41

Withour HR, you need yo9ur own advice. Re-post this in Employment; there are qualified people floating about, who will be able to advise you on what to do next.

Good luck!

DeadPoncy · 18/10/2010 11:46

oops: "your own advice"

GetOrfMoiLand · 18/10/2010 11:48

Don't recruitment companies over hire anyway, as they have such a high attrition rate.

Surely if you are in probation period they can get rid within that time?

I am so sorry you lost your job, but I think it IS unprofessional to cry at your desk. You should have run to the loo and cried there.

DeadPoncy · 18/10/2010 11:52

If we're throwing U words around, it's unprofessional to fire someone not in writing, and unprofessional not to give them a contract!

Borisismyhousespider · 18/10/2010 11:56

If you're within the 3 month probation period they can terminate your employment if your not suitable for the company with what ever reason they like. Sorry

DeadPoncy · 18/10/2010 12:01

Still not on not to have a contract. I was caught out like that once, and lost out, so am now very hot on getting contracts signed!

DavidStHubbins · 18/10/2010 12:03

Sounds like a clear case of constructive dismissal to me. You need to consult an employment law specialist - union may be able to help or you can look for a lawyer directly.

Probably a good idea to keep a record of every conversation you have with management as I doubt they will put in writing that yo
u are 'too emotional'.

Whatever you do, get professional advice quickly. Don't rely on advice given on message boards, no matter how well meaning.

Original poster

happiestblonde · 18/10/2010 12:04

Oh I don't want to follow it up I just wanted to hear what you thought.

Unprofessional fine but I can't stress enough how noone else noticed because it was like 2 tears I quickly dealt with, running out would have been more obvious. I wasn't unsuitable I was doing bloody well, over-hitting targets, bringing in clients etc.

OP posts:

sethstarkaddersmummyreturns · 18/10/2010 12:06

I;ve just been googling, does this help?

quote:
'There?s been much confusion as to whether you can circumvent the need to follow these statutory procedures for probationary staff. In fact, the majority view is that they should be followed. Firstly, because it reduces the likelihood that an employee can claim wrongful dismissal (breach of contract). Secondly, you would be found in breach should a probationary employee bring an unfair dismissal claim, e.g. for discrimination '

(disclaimer - I know nothing)

WidowWadman · 18/10/2010 12:07

" DavidStHubbins Mon 18-Oct-10 12:03:03

Sounds like a clear case of constructive dismissal to me"

Sounds like you actually don't know what constructive dismissal is.

To the OP -seems like a crap situation, but don't think that you've got any chance to turn that over. And would you actually want to? If the job gets to you in the first 6 weeks so much already that you end up crying at the desk, kind of makes me think that it might just not be right for you.

Original poster

happiestblonde · 18/10/2010 12:11

They wouldn't give us contracts, I kept pushing but stopped because noone else was and I didn't want to cause trouble.

My rec2rec girl thinks something fishy is going on. I just don't understand and the sadness is turning to anger because the way it was done was so, so quick, cold and brutal - and the reason they gave just isn't true, I'm pretty emotional in that I cared, put stupid hours in and was very enthusiastic/excited when I pulled clients but aside that one occasion I have never shown negative emotions at work.

OP posts:

sethstarkaddersmummyreturns · 18/10/2010 12:14

listen, if you did decide to take it further, are you going to have any evidence they said you were too emotional? is there any chance of getting him to clarify it by email? eg sending him a quick email saying something like 'I understand you feel I am too emotional for the job' and then if he doesn't deny that that is the reason you have something. might come in useful.

sethstarkaddersmummyreturns · 18/10/2010 12:15

maybe disguise it as a 'will you be prepared to write me a reference' request?

EvilAntsAndMiasmas · 18/10/2010 12:22

That is awful happiestblonde. If you are in an all-male environment, and they are dismissing you on the basis of being "too emotional" (with no evidence, and an otherwise good proveable record), they might as well have just said "sod off blondie, this is men's work".

I am not a lawyer, but I really think this would be covered under the sex discrimination laws. Have a look here, where it states that the law applies throughout selection, training, probationary periods etc.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 18/10/2010 12:22

was thinking exactly the same as ssam
Get in writing that you are "too emotional"

DeadPoncy · 18/10/2010 12:23

"Oh I don't want to follow it up I just wanted to hear what you thought.
"I wasn't unsuitable I was doing bloody well, over-hitting targets, bringing in clients etc."
"They wouldn't give us contracts"

I don't understand why you don't want to follow it up.

sethstarkaddersmummyreturns · 18/10/2010 12:29

I understand why you don't want to follow it up. But I think you should talk to a lawyer before you decide.
It is so easy not to fight things because it is easier to walk away but then it nags away at you, the thought that people have behaved outrageously and got away with it.

EvilAntsAndMiasmas · 18/10/2010 12:33

Agree SSM - I got cheated out of hundreds of pounds worth of tips from a summer job years ago, and it still annoys me and I won't go to the place where I worked. Wish I'd done something then - and that's NOTHING compared to this.

"Emotional" is a totally groundless and bizarre accusation. Make sure you do not talk to anyone at work about crying at your desk, or any other displays of emotion - wait for them to give the evidence if any. If nobody noticed then don't hand that to them on a plate.

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