Would you like to play "It's like Feminisim never happened" with me?

[Marchpane]

I have a gem: I'm sorting out the home insurance renewal but since the last policy I have taken redundancy and I'm going back to do a postgraduate course. Which I told them.

They now have my occupation listed as "housewife" which is pretty yuk, but under employer's business it say "domestic service".

Presumably my husband is my employer and I spend my time in servitude to him?

Any one more?

I know several people who have had the same problem with CRB forms.

'Why on earth would you choose such a badge of shame if you didn't have to?' appears to be the attitude.

When I picked the car up from its MOT the garage asked if I wanted them to send the bill to my DH...

I somehow ended up having a breakfast meeting in a greasy spoon (don't ask). The guy serving us addressed all the men as "sir" and me (only woman) as "love".

Constant lurker but first post here.

My MIL very old fashioned, always describes our marital home as lilly's house, the DC as Lilly's children. Is my Dh invisible? turns out these are womens things. She also comments that my wee job is good for wifes. I am a head of dept but apparently it's womens work as kids are involved.

I had a claim on the house insurance recently. The company insisted my DH was there when the loss adjusters were visiting in case "any important decisions had to be made" He phoned them and said he wasn't taking time off work. They asked his permission for me to speak for him When the cheque arrived it was in DH's name even though the policy is joint!

hmm, i can see them wanting both of you there for the 'important' decisions, in case later he gets angry at them if you decide something he wouldn't - would they have accepted him being there but not you, though?

i once got slapped on the wrist (literally, not figuratively) by MIL cos I forgot to send a card for her & sFIL wedding anniversary - i told her that dh does cards for his family, i do cards for mine. she didn't say a word to him!

Right up until he died 3 years ago my Grandad would insist on the rule of

On Christmas Day all Men to the Pub and all Women stay home and cook.

2 Years this become an issue, first when my elder sister waited until they were all about to go and got her coat on and followed them to the door, Grandad was gobsmacked at a 'Woman going to the Pub!'

second was when again they all got up to go and DP said 'actually I'm going to stay to help with the kids while Tit's cooks the dinner' my Grandad was furious he said to DP 'Are you a man or a Mouse? Get up and come to the Pub!'
DP refused to go and i fell in love with him all the more for it!

My mum sometimes invites us round for tea. Whenever she does, she cooks a really heavy, meaty meal like steak and kidney pie or roast beef...even though we mainly eat veggie and she likes fish or chicken.

(It seems, and this is something they must have learnt in domestic science in the 50's, men have to have the flesh of a cow on a regular basis otherwise their willies drop off.)

She also gives him twice as much as she gives me and always serves him first...and she always serves him a drink of his choice but tells me to get my own, and get her one whilst I'm at it.

Sadly, she thinks she's the one who taught me about feminism...

hmm, i can see them wanting both of you there for the 'important' decisions, in case later he gets angry at them if you decide something he wouldn't - would they have accepted him being there but not you, though?

I know kissangel but they specifically asked for DH as the main homeowner- laugh is I mmake 3 times what he does!

DS born a few days earlier, MW turns up unannonced to see how we're doing and insists DH wake me up to join them.

MW: What have the baby's nappies been like?
Me: I don't know - dh changes the nappies. Dh what have they been like?

Mw looks bit baffled but bravely carries on...

MW: Dad, can you pass the baby to mum please? Right mum if you could take all his clothes off I'll get him weighed. How's he been in general mum?

There was nothing she asked or needed that dh couldn't help with and I could have stayed in bed

He can spell better than I can though

MillyR - "The first question the doctor asked me, without asking anything about DS, was what my husband did for a living". How bizarre!

You should look them in the eye and say, "He's a lawyer". Focusses their minds tremendously, I find.

:o Heathen

Titsalina, that reminds me of a former colleague, a mid-to-high ranking civil servant, telling me about an exhausting-sounding Christmas schedule including a massive dinner with extended family. And then, she said, the men go to the pub while the women prepare dinner. What, every year? I said. Don't they ever take turns? Oh no, she said, this is the tradition. Well if it was my family's tradition, I said, we would be looking to introduce a new one. From next year on, I would give them due notice, the men would do every other year. She looked quite shocked and said she could never do that. Do you prefer cooking dinner to being in the pub then? Apparently not.

I'm pleased to say DSs 2 and 3 cooked my Christmas dinner last year. It's my bounden duty as a mother not to bring them up so helpless they have to rely on some woman doing the cooking, innit?

Christmas dinner, if it includes a roast turkey, also includes a big gap where the turkey is in the oven but nothing else needs cooking yet, so everyone can go to the pub.

Veg peeling etc should be done (again, by everyone) on Christmas Eve.

My grandfather did the hoovering and cooking at home, but would not hoover when my grandmother was out, in case the neighbours heard him and assumed he was doing housework.

I have never understood this.

I once went to buy a car with ex-DP, no kids. Both working and wanted a little sporty car to waste a bit of money on. When the car salesman started making reference to the school run and local runs to do shopping, we picked up our money and left.

SALE FAIL.

I'm feeling v lucky with my family now! It's well accepted that dh does cooking/cleaning etc. I usually deal with workmen and money stuff as dh is a pushover ( always being sold insurance for everything !)

when i separated from EXp my mum said "well, as long as you keep wearing your make-up"

I worked in Bangkok for a bit, where if I'd stuck to my feminist principles I would likely have combusted. DH didn't tell me half the stories he heard in his office there because I would probably have spat/puked on his colleagues over drinks.

The place I was working in had some folk in taking photos and videos for promotional material, and the boss pulled me in and asked me to nip home and put some make-up on, go to the hairdresser for a blow-dry and bill the office. I was insulted but too shocked to protest!

Just lurking on a dating board on another forum and realising that women still have to sit around waiting for some guy to call them after a date. For gawd's sake......

Oh yes, and when I started a graduate job in the City, all the female graduates were invited to a seminar by an 'image consultant' who taught us about how to dress nicely with the correct skirt and heel height and colours matching our skin tones, the correct ways to do our hair and makeup and make sure we knew we musn't have unplucked eyebrows or (gasp of horror!) any other facial hair.

This was non-optional, it was part of a series of seminars with compulsory attendance. I was quietly outraged at the time but didn't object as I didn't want to make a fuss and be seen as trouble so early in my career.

PS, even though my children will probably go to a comp, I have, because I went there, put their names down for a private school I can't afford.. Even though all the enquiries and the cheque to pay to put their names on the list have been in MY name, all the letters back to the house come to Mr & Mrs Theirsurname (and so, his, an x, who won't be paying for jack shit)

And it wasn't just the advice, it was the way the focus was all on making ourselves pleasing and acceptable to our male colleagues, apparently they would be 'distracted' and literally completely unable to listen to us or take anything we said seriously if we had a bit of upper lip hair or hadn't put makeup on or our shoes didn't match our handbag or something.

Not their fault, poor dears, men are just 'more visual'

This was 2007, by the way, not the '50s.

Ephiny :(

I can believe it, I used to work in the City, and as bad as it was in my office it was apparently worse in Tokyo. I used to work with Japanese clients and I know I was no looker, but apparently, the literal meaning of secretary is office flower. The men in the city are absolutely vile about about women's looks, and it is the ugliest ones who make the most comments. If a new woman starts two floors away, she'll be rated out of ten. Even if she's a lawyer or in a position to fire them. Her value (her true value in citypounds, is how £fuck.00able she is.

don't miss it.