TheShriekingHarpy et al.....Whats In It For You?

[frikonastick]

Can I just say very quickly, this isn?t a call out for an argument, I am genuinely asking a question of some of the posters here in the feminist section, and I promise my tone is not aggressive or sarcastic.

Ok, so what I am asking is, given this is a subsection of mumsnet for feminist issues/discussion etc, and given you don?t ascribe to being feminists or identifying with them, why do you post in here? I really am asking whats in it for you? I really don?t understand why any woman would feel the need to come onto the feminist section to be anything other than supportive to the feminist principles. After all, feminism as a movement can only BENEFIT women. Why wouldn?t that be something you are for?

Thanks in advance if y?all take the time to respond.

ah yes well, i suppose now that you have (once again) decided there is nothing to discuss, i suppose we should all just get our coats..........

lol at an 'anti-feminist' section

the world is an anti-feminist section

har de har har

yes chibi, if only the non feminists (such a TSH) had come along to answer my question(s), then we wouldnt be in thread about a thread territory.

oh well, cant win 'em all

Frikonastick I know exactly what you mean and have often wondered why certain posters are on so many threads on this section when it is clear they tend towards derailing and headinthesandism rather than honest exchange of ideas and opinions.

I'm glad you asked this question and am interested in the responses - I would find it a bit odd if the posters concerned choose to blank this thread.

If your basic premise is that feminism = freedom to choose then as long as a woman somewhere dies it, it must be feminist

I.e. I choose to conform to patriarchal concepts of womanhood but I do it to myself, thus it is feminist

by this logic my choice of a curry rather than yet more gazpacho for dinner is also a feminist act

I would think that you would want non feminist's (there is a difference between non feminist and anti feminist) as it makes for interesting debates otherwise would it not just be dull.

I like debating this topic interests me and i like different views even if i don't agree with them.

Well i said non feminist's not anti feminists's. Anti means against they actively move against the movement and disagree with the entire principle.

Non just means they are not feminist but they are not against it either in fact i believe most people in the UK would fit under this category, if you were to go around asking people on a high street if they were feminist most would say no but if you would ask if they agree with feminism they would say that they agree with parts of it.

As to your referral to debates within a group with similar ideals, yes there will be disagreement (i don't think there can ever be large number of people together without some) but someone who is not part of a group would offer a different viewpoint.

I know what you mean with your OP frik and I think that as someone mentioned earlier the rape threads have brought out quite a few people like this.

It sort of goes

rape is terrible what can we do?
well walking around in short skirts is asking for it and anyway women commit rape too et's talk about that
eh?
you heard me

And it is annoying as it does derail discussions. There are definitely anti-feminists who really enjoy posting in this section. My beief is that they like winding us up (ie it's trolling).

Or maybe, it's topics where most of us agree (eg what can we do about rape) that brings anti-feminists out of the woodwork - maybe they feel threatened when we all agree? As then (god forbid) we might actually try and do something. But I mean for chrissakes there's only about 20 of us what's the big threat?!!

Frikonastick
[.......and i promise my tone is not aggressive.....]

yes-i can see what youre saying and im not taking it as such[agressive ect]
i think its a good question actually!

well-i came here because of [what i feel]was the transphobia!
yes i was angry-and im still angry about it-
and i will stand up all the way on this[im not being aggressive]
but be honest-you would stand up for youre beliefs also wouldnt you?

anyway-that aside-
i have found this site very strange-as i see a lot thats been said about feminism-wrong[in my eyes]and very aggressive!
it has seemed that if someone dont agree with things-they get people on theyre back!

having said this-i am also finding things very interesting-whether i agree with them or not!
im not blinkered[this is not a dig]-and i believe thats its only by listening to each other-that we will understand each other-and achieve real equality![im on about here and rl]
we will never find real equality when we fight each other-we need to truly listen to each other!

btw-yes-i did myself hate for a while-but this was a pointless exercise-this just hurt me more-as no matter what had happened to me ect-no one has been able to kick love and understanding out of me-[i dont know why]
and my biggest kick in the bollox back has been-the person who i have finnally become today[some might not understand this]!

i saw a post somewhere earlier on-[i cant remember where]
but this post was from a women that said she was older than most on here!
i agree with whats she said-and id be very interested to talk to her[not that i dont anyone else]

another btw-[still not being aggressive]
i might come across as being youngish[but this isbecause i have a condition]but i not!
in my younger days-i was in battered womens places[they was horrendis places]
i went back cos we was treated like shit by everyone-[oh and the places i was put in was full of alcholic men]
i couldnt get no money-as my[then]husband was claiming for us-and i didnt have no rights-[the social security actually told me that the man was entitled and he could do what he liked-they couldnt do anything about it]
battered wifes was seen as harlots-and our babys scorned[im crying]
i went back cos hes hatred was better than others hatred-this went on and on!
some days he was nice to me-and i thought it must be me-i must be mad-other days-i used to piss meself when he come through the door!
i went tottally mad!
oh-and im probaby younger than i am cos of all the times he knocked me out and left me there!
years later-he kicked me out-and i lived on the street for well over a year-
id gone tottally nuts-so this didnt bother me-in this time-he had my kids-when i went to see them-i had to sleep with him or he wouldnt let me see my kids[it happens but its a taboo subject]oh yeah-and get a sermon on what a bad person i was!
he even got two hitmen to try and finish me off-one wouldnt do it-the other one gave me a "warning"-i was walking down dover street]london]one night-and a car went by-then a few bullets went flyin past me!
a little while later-i ended up in a psyc ward-and this saved me-and i come out and moved on-and got strong]theres a biger story before this and after this-but this would merit a thousand posts!
dont dare accuse me of siding with men-i dont side with men-i side on all things right-i see right and wrong-no matter what!
if i thought transwomen was men who wanted to control women ect-i wouldnt be shoutin so loud for them-
im still saying they are women!
and to become myself-i had to stop the hate i felt!

Crikey sparky that's quite a post. You have had an extremely interesting life by the sounds of it - you seem to have come out the other side. I don't know what to say really.

Re frik's post - I don't think she was talking about that thread in particular, more about what some other regulars in this section have had to say over the months.

Have you had a look around the rest of MN, out of interest? We are a pretty niche section here in feminism, there is a whole other world out there!

Sorry sparky meant to say hello as well.

isnt-
yep-i have come out the other side-but its been a long time coming!
yeah-[thanks[i knew what she was on about-wink-
but bloody hell-ive had to put this somewhere innit[laughin]
isnt-if i wouldnt of stopped hating-i would of never moved on-
as i said-hate breeds hate-and its no good!
hate was given to me-and i did take it for a long time!
this screwed me up even more!
[cos i never did understand why people had so much hate towards me]
these days-i live on my own with my youngest-[by a diffrent dad[-
and i did my best by them in the worsest circamstances-and theyve come back to me-
[my eldest kids]-and i happy about this!
anyway-theres been a lot of pain but these days-
they love me to bits-and i love them to bits-
we re together again and lovin it!
theyre friends tell them that they want me to be theyre parent-my kids laugh and say-no sparky is mine![i proud of this]
these days-we cant understand all youre fucked up ways[not being offensive to you sorry]
but we are happy now-but fight against wrongness!
we are a very "difrent"family-theres trans-gay-men-women-mental health =disability-ect ect=
and these days-im the one cheerfully talking to anyone-and i love it-i can finnaly be myself-
i talk to everyone-even women in burkhas!
i have no discrimanashion!
im seen as tottally mad-but im not as rest of the world-but they cant see it-so i keep on fightin!
yes-i did see the rest of the site-ive been writin on the special needs site-and i hope ive helped someone!
thankyou isnt
i have no hate no more!

SMP, you wrote

"I'm all for dissenting voices - if we all agreed with each other there would be no forum and it would be bloody boring! But people who actively fight against feminism and don't see the point of it - surely posting in here is basically tantamount to trolling?"

do you know, i hadnt thought of it like that. i guess it kind of is like trolling.

i totally get why people do wind ups on AIBU and stuff (although frankly i think its juvenile) but i dont understand why you would troll the feminist section, as a woman. i mean, whats the pay off?

feminists stand for things that BENEFIT woman (i really have to stop bolding that ) why would any woman be resistant to equality, lower (or abolished even!) rape rates, better working conditions, better pay etc etc etc.

and yes ISNT! thats exactly how those threads seem to go, and maybe you are right, maybe denying what feminists are saying is more comfortable than accepting.

its just that you know, when i read threads in here, i dont always agree but sometimes thats out of ignorance. and the more i read the more i learn.

i suppose i find it hard to see how posters like TSH can be on this section regularily and still persist in being non feminists (or even anti). again i raise the cry! Whats In It For You?

sparky i am glad that you have your children around you, it sounds like you have been through an awful lot

I personally don't think I feel all that much hate, although certainly things can get a bit heated on here.

When you talk about your family - "we are a very "difrent"family-theres trans-gay-men-women-mental health =disability-ect ect=" do you mean the people you came over here with the other day?

i'm glad you have had a look around the rest of the site as well. all is good

thanks for responding TSH, i appreciate it

the thing is, i wasnt so much asking why do you post in here, but what do you get out of it?

which is a different question im sure you will agree.

do you feel that the feminists on here are misguided? or do you offer an opposing view as a sort of devils advocate? or do you really believe that for example given that men, women, children all experience rape there is no reason to have a dedicated topic for the group that is vastly vastly more affected and victimised than any other? ifswim

Isnt
thankyou
no i wasnt on about the people that i come over with the other day!