Just been diagnosed with genital herpes - devastated

[Supernova1908]

I’ve just been diagnosed with genital herpes and I’m devastated (female, 45). I have blisters/sores on both my vaginal area and around my anus and I’m in agony, I’ve even taken the day off work today. The sexual health nurse gave me antivirals to take. After initially trying to remain optimistic yesterday, last night I stupidly started googling things and there was a previous thread on here about how awful people have found it, with near-constant outbreaks or symptoms that don’t go away even with antiviral medication. I’m completely panicking that this will be my life and it’ll ruin my sex life, relationship, holidays, activities, and my mental health 😩 Had anyone managed to live okay with this? Do you always get recurrent outbreaks?

You’re commenting on the OP’s thread. How do you think that’s making her feel?

Shame on you. I contracted it as a very young woman who used contraceptives.
Women are far more likely to catch it from men due to the anatomical positioning.

lve told all my teen & adult children l have it. Mainly to dispel harsh untruths about it & quash stigma.

You* have a hurtful , uneducated and spiteful soul.

I happen to care deeply about preventing sexually transmitted diseases. If statistics prove people place themselves at a far higher risk the greater the number of unprotected sexual encounters they have please tell me why highlighting this makes me as you describe. All I'm doing is saying everyone should educate themselves in this matter despite the fact a once only experience can spread it. Why put yourself at a far greater risk when in most cases it is preventable with safe & responsible sex. At least that's what NHS guidelines state.

Stop. Please. Go care about it somewhere else. Start your own thread, instead of hijacking someone else's for your own agenda.

I had them (active) 14 years ago and was so shocked! I naively thought they were skin tags as I had only been with a very long term partner (13 years) and had no symptoms.

Anyway, I had them frozen at the clinic and I’ve never seen them again.

You’re talking about warts, not herpes.

@HolidayHattie no cheating, it ended amicably!

Thankfully @Nonrienderien’s comments aren’t bothering me in the slightest on a personal level (and I don’t think they have been trying to attack me about it), but it’s a shame that such a largely supportive, educational and non-stigmatising thread has been hijacked by them bullishly trying to make their point and not conceding to the facts about herpes!

L-Lysine (Holland and barret etc or ebay sell it).
Game changer(I only have the Coldsore virus but used to get them very severely covered my whole mouth area).

@Noodge thanks so much, yes I’ve been reading that I should take this so I’ll definitely get some!

Are you feeling any better today @Supernova1908? I hope you managed a better nights sleep.

@TofuFighters I had a much better sleep, thank you - I’m not sure if the antiviral is kicking in now or if I was just so tired, but it felt a bit less irritated down there last night anyway thank the lord.

I'm sure people who have casual sex are well aware there are STIs out there. You know this from school age. Doesnt stop people having sex.

If people practised safe sex would this thread exist?

The fact I was practically in tears reading about your symptoms OP suggests I was in no way attacking you. I feel nothing but pity for anyone going through this type of pain & discomfort. I apologise if I'm wrong to have added my posts to your thread but I'm sure you'd agree despite it not being your situation it's still important to highlight the statistics & how to mitigate risks. I Hope the excellent advice on this thread has given you some comfort. I have said my piece now & will leave the thread. If it makes even one person think about ways they can mitigate their risks or encouraged people to teach their children about STDs I have no regrets.

That would mean never ever having sex without super safe condoms- which would mean no one ever getting pregnant!

Clad you’re feeling a bit better.

Glad to hear it. Hopefully the medication is doing its job and you’ll be feeling much better very soon.

Protection doesn't prevent herpes.

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus

In December 2024, the WHO estimated that 64% of the global population carry HSV1, and 13% of the global population carry HSV2.

Only 20-25% of those people are symptomatic, others will be entirely unaware that they carry the virus.

I reiterate, HSV1 is more likely to recur on the face, HSV2 is more likely to recur on the genitals, but BOTH can be transmitted to face/genitals and BOTH can cause symptoms on the face/genitals.

The John Hopkins Centre in the US estimates that the prevalence may be higher, and estimates 50-80% of the adult US population.

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2

We have heard enough of the pearl clutching, sanctimonious "oh why doesn't somebody think of the children?!", but when

• prevalence is this high
• maybe ¾ of carriers are unaware of their status
• there is no standard STI check for HSV1 or 2

Aside from total abstinence, how do you suggest someone protects themselves 100%????

Also, the PP who no longer deserves an @ is completely ignoring the majority of women on this thread who have said "I got it from a trusted partner, I didn't know I/they had it, I had one outbreak 6 years ago & it does not bother me". I guess those voices don't play into the wailing drama.

In a PP I mentioned risk assessment & how we all just make the best decision we can with the information available. Someone responded that they feel taking a bus is a low risk of life changing injury, whereas OH GENITAL HERPES. I'd like to point out that every time one gets into a car they are taking a small risk of a life altering or fatal car crash, BUT WE ALL DRIVE DAILY.

I didn't want to get hysterical, I am off to take a deep breath.

My first outbreak was horrific, got the fuckers on my hands and everything 😐. I felt like I had the flu for days too. I caught it drunkenly having a one night stand at my mates hen do when I was 22. I beat myself up for weeks about it, especially the fact that it was typical I caught one of the two STIs that isn’t curable. But I’m nearly 40 now, met my husband a few months after catching it, the conversation was excruciating for me but he took it well. I have minor outbreaks every now and again, more often than not when I get them it’s just before my period.

For the poster who is basing it on being promiscuous. My husband lived a life before me….had many partners in his heady drinking days-wasn’t nearly as careful as he should have been…never caught a sodding thing. I’ve had 2 one night stands in my life and got herpes. Shit fucking happens.

I had it when I was 20 (am now ancient), and it was so bad, so excruciatingly painful, that I used to sit in a bath of tepid water to pee, as it was too sore to pee on the loo. I attended a sexual health clinic where the doctor said it was one of the worst cases she’d seen! Anyway, I had the whole vulvic area painted with some substance and given a bottle of it to take home to DIY. I was off work for a week, though I had struggled through for a week before that. It eventually cleared up with the medication and it’s never recurred. I do feel for you and you have my every sympathy.

Omg, I feel so sorry for anyone going through that. Thankfully you've not had a recurrence🌹

Arghhh!!! I meant to end my contribution to this thread.