My New BF suggested I do Kegels 😔

[Tunafish1974]

Hi ladies,

I am a mother of two in her early 40s and have been divorced for a few years. I recently started going out with a man. Around 2 months into our relationship, he casually brought the subject of pelvic floor exercises. He is a spiritual person and has a passion for tantra so he didn’t refer to these as Kegels or pelvic floor exercises but he said “have you heard of Yoni exercises?” and something along the lines of how in Tantra they are recommended for enhancing a couple’s sexual pleasure/connection. I can’t quite remember his exact words. I was absolutely mortified having had two babies over 10 lbs each, one of which came out of me in the most traumatic way possible and decimated all of my inner abdominal and pelvic muscles. He tells me my reaction to his suggestion was not normal and I was overly sensitive and triggered.

I wanted to see what others thought about this? Please share with me how you would react and whether I am indeed being overly sensitive. I really appreciate your thoughts in advance xx

Tell him he should count himself extremely lucky to have had access to your vagina but his yoni remarks have caused it to clamp shut so he'll have to seek someone else.

He's a creep.

"He tells me my reaction to his suggestion was not normal and I was overly sensitive and triggered."
Spiritual, my arse! He's just a common or garden wanker, negging a woman to chip away at her self-esteem - all to make himself feel like The Big I Am and to reduce the chance of her binning him off (because he's done his damnedest to make her think that no other man would look at her so she should be 'grateful' to have him).

I fucking hate this type.

Bin, bin, bin.

I think this is a penis problem. Not a you problem.

Ugh, that’s given me the total ick. It’s a Bin Him from me.

Suggest he tries growing a bigger cock.

Definitely do this. And then dump him. What a twat.

Him calling you over sensitive and triggered wasn't a good way for him to deal with you being upset.

Looking at it with no emotion attached, could he have a point regarding your pelvic muscles. It's completely understandable and a known effect of having given birth, but is it an area where you actually do need to seek any medical support. Lots of women ignore pelvic damage caused by birth and it's something we should be more open about seeking help for and getting fixed because it can cause problems.

I'd probably get the ick from your BF to be honest, he sounds like a bit of a navel gazing, twit and his use of the word Yoni would have been the nail in the coffin, but just because the conversation was delivered badly doesn't mean there's no value in it.

He is a spiritual person

^

He's a wanker

He's a cock and I wouldn't give him the time of day.

Brian from Hull - that takes me back.

Sack him off. He's clearly not that spiritual if he's jumping straight into the PUA playbook of negging you and then telling you you're over-sensitive.

Get rid of him...

Micropenis

Tit for tat and all...

He is a spiritual person and has a passion for tantra

Tell Sting to sling his hook.

Every time he comes anywhere near you start burning some sage.

The ‘spiritual’ ones are always complete pricks

Bin him

He’s a twat and he’s gaslighting you.

Also spiritual with a passion for tantra? He’s not fucking Sting, he’s a pretentious nob.

Get rid

Sounds like a narcisstic person to me.
(Looking out for HIS own desires!)

Haven’t rtft, sure it’s been said. My money is on ED and he’s suffering from death grip. Please bin him OP.

I mean, he’s probably got a point as we should all be doing pelvic floor exercises daily…

but he’s an arsehole for bringing it up. That’s a topic for midwives, gynaecologists, nurses and female friends over a certain age. NOT for recent boyfriends.

I never heard of Kegels - ? (no children)
and I wouldn't bother with him (in fact with anyone anymore), but definitely not with him.
How odd.
😐

I've done a few Tantra courses and met a lot of so called
' spiritual' men. IME, they're no different from common or garden misogynistic, they just use their spirituality as another stick to beat you with. This guy lacks any empathy and is trying to make you wrong. You've had TWO children, which is amazing. This guy is an immature, entitled idiot who doesn't understand women at all and is just thinking of his own selfish sense. Please don't let him make you feel bad about yourself and your beautiful, entirely normal body.

I'm really annoyed on your behalf...

He tells me my reaction to his suggestion was not normal and I was overly sensitive and triggered. What an absolute twat

Don’t you dare let this bozo damage your sense of yourself. A man who knows what he’s doing can work with away with gusto and do what comes naturally (lol) regardless. It ain’t about the size, nor his size either. It’s what you do with what you’ve got.

He’s a tool for saying it and a tool for reacting selfishly to your understandable reaction. But he’s a massive tool for confidently displaying his abject lack of knowledge on post-birth injury. I have top-notch pelvic tone but nothing short of surgery will put me back where I was. My superb pelvic tone is all that’s keeping me from having to wear nappies. But nonethless, I could run a very successful smuggling operation with mine. I know that cos a gynaecological consultant told me so (not the smuggling bit, that’s my retirement plan) rather than some dude in a braided leather necklace who heard a podcast. I suspect you’re well aware of what’s going on with your own body too OP.

I’d be sorely tempted to purchase a cock sleeve, just to show him how perception is everything, but I’d probably just show him the door.

He's a dick. The OP hasn't taken this all wrong. A sensitive person would know that 2 months is too early to randomly start suggesting 'Yoni' exercises a propos of nothing. An expert like the Brian would have raised the idea of this kinda thing with neutrally without directing suggestions towards the OP as of course such a thing is extremely personal. I'd let him take his miserable little lingam elsewhere.