Just how bad is menopause?

[SpectacularSalt]

In short I’m terrified of it. I’m 49 and I feel like every trip to the GP no matter what is wrong with me is put down to the menopause. I’m not menopausal. I’m not even perimenopausal. I’ve had my hormone levels checked recently (following my frankly horrific uterine fibroid embolisation but that’s another story). I’m definitely not in the menopause.
But I know I will be menopausal in the next five years or so and I don’t know how bad things are going to get.
For the past 15 years I’ve struggled with anxiety, depression, anaemia and sleep apnoea. I’ve been a walking zombie, constantly seeking sleep and rest but never quite getting enough. I have night terrors and I find it impossible to relax. My brain is always racing. I've had times of being so low, I’ve wanted to exit.
My question is - If I’m like this now, how bad is it going to get once my hormones change? Can anyone who has depression and anxiety and has gone through the menopause tell me what it was like for them?
All I read about is sleeplessness, anxiety and mood swings. How will that be, on top of the exhaustion, depression and anxiety I already have??

My theory is the reverse - some women are strongly affected by hormones, some seem to breeze through.

(My midwife said when I was struggling with hyperemisis, "I don't envy your menopause..." so I figured she might be on to something.)

My mum and I both had strong PMT, hellish pregnancies and difficult, lengthy menopause experiences.
My two SILs breezed through it all with no morning sickness, straightforward reduction in periods and then a fairly problem-free menopause. (It's a wonder I love them, the lucky things)

Didn't really have any symptoms, except for a few hot flushes at night and that was it. I think that worrying el make things worse than they need be. Happens to us all.

I realised one day, age 52, that I had n't had a period for over a year. My sleep has been terrible since my 20s!

I consider this the be a payoff for excruciating periods in my teens and hyperemisis in both pregnancies

I'm in early Peri, symptoms started in March, they were awful. The insomnia was the worst as that affected every day. Then the bloating, rage, brain fog and tiredness. Then the night sweats and hot flushes. I managed to get HRT and feel normal again. On the plus side, I've not had a period for 2.5months now :)

I have had mild anxiety and depression for years and peri had made those much worse. However life circumstances also got much harder then so it’s difficult to unpick, but I view HRT for me personally as essential MH scaffolding now. Plus the brain and heart benefits. It’s not something I would want to stop taking, but it’s very hard to generalise.
The individual variation is huge but family patterns do seem noticeable. In hindsight my mum really struggled in the era back when there was no help.

I know I’ve got chronic scarring from two sections and further abdominal surgery. I was wondering how that relates to flooding? I’m 43 and staring down perimenopause (if not there already) so trying to prepare myself for what may be in store!

I barely noticed it. I felt hot three or four times, and that was it.

I'm similar to you. I'm 51 and have had the coil for 5 years in August. I've been advised to renew it for another 5 years as this can help through the menopause. My periods were always horrendous from day 1. Flooding and unbearable pain. I've had 3 c sections and 1 ectopic. I wish I'd had the coil in many years before. I think I'm having some peri symptoms but I also have a condition with overlapping symptoms. I'm also under a lot of stress and these symptoms have come with a vengeance. Maybe we'll never know until the coil is removed 😬😬😬

I'm 48, been perimenopausal for a while. It's fine. I had a lot of hot flushes at one point, then they stopped. Now it's just a case of 'guess when your period is coming!'. I have just had one and it was 68 days since my previous but I did go 150 days without one... that's as far as it goes at the moment! Oh, bloated belly...... which I can handle!

As a child free woman in my 40s who has never wanted children and has very clear mood weeks with my period. I can not wait for menopause because of no mood swings every month! I'l happily take a few hot flushes for a while if it means no periods and no mood swings any more.

I don't know about anyone else but I've had 30 odd years where every month consists of -
One week I find everyone in the world annoying and want them to die.
One week of wanting myself to die.
One week of sadness because life is beautiful but everyone and myself will die! .
And then one week of bleeding but actually feeling happy for a week. But that happiness is covered in blood.😂
Then repeat. Every month. For over 30 years.

Then we get this beautiful thing called menopause and that stops.. And we are free!! So I might get a bit fatter and sweaty but we're be free. I'm so excited for it.. Bring it on!

I went from have a period a month to a light period every 3 months to nothing.

I was very very busy at work at the time so I never thought about it. Life was quite hard but I have no idea how to attribute what was physiological and what was work, family stress and time pressures.

I remember hating to be too hit and dressed in easy layers.

I know that I was particularly short tempered at times with the family.

So I still don't know exactly.

HOT not hit

I had surgical meno aged 40 (4 years ago) As I can have HRT it is ok for me. The women who suffer imo are those who have sudden menopause / terrible symptoms but can’t have HRT.
Best thing is no periods, no PMT.

Agree, I had surgical meno and I’m fine. And I didn’t get any fatter either.