I’ve just had my first smear test, and I’m really shaken up, I don’t know if I’m over reacting.
id watched some youtube videos just to get an idea about the process, they were all the typical go behind a curtain, undress from the waist down, small sheet to cover you, lie on the bed with legs in stirrups, exam takes about a minute, done and dusted.
mine was completely different - there was no curtain, so I had to get undressed infront of the doctor as she watched, and climb on the table with my downstairs exposed which I’m sure she’s used to but I already felt super embarrassed. There was no small sheet to cover me which I guess maybe isn’t always a thing anyway, There was no stirrups so just lay on my back and before I knew it she was trying to shove the speculum in, but was somehow completely missing the bullseye, and very forcefully jamming it into all areas of my downstairs barring my actual vagina. I’d say I have a high pain tolerance, broken several bones and hasn’t been that bad, but this was absolutely excruciating, I mean it genuinely felt like she’d gotten a knife and was stabbing me hard, she kept going in and out in and out and at this point I was writhing in pain, she didn’t stop she just kept going, like a stab in the dark literally. I told her to go further down because she was hitting my vulva and the pain was becoming unbearable at this point as she’d been at it for several minutes, but I wanted it over and done with because I knew if I’d gotten up and left then, then i wouldn’t have booked for another try.
when she did eventually get the speculum in it was just a shot in the dark and she shoved it in with such force I felt my entire insides scraped like carpet burn.
i know smear tests are very normal, but I can’t help but feel this wasn’t how it was meant to go, I understand it may not always be easy to find the right spot at first, but at least go slower or be gentle. There was blood on the table and me when she was done, and when I got home I was bleeding still and had bled through my underwear.
am I over reacting? I felt so shaken and light headed, now I just feel dirty and ashamed. It was so rough and agonising, I don’t know how the hell im going to convince myself to get one next time. I have thick skin when it comes to doctors and procedures, needles, surgery, blood you name it and it doesn’t phase me, so I know it was bad enough that it’s actually had an effect on me, but does this sound pretty standard for a first time smear test? Am I just being sensitive?