Am I over reacting? Feeling violated after smear test

[DearSwan]

I’ve just had my first smear test, and I’m really shaken up, I don’t know if I’m over reacting.

id watched some youtube videos just to get an idea about the process, they were all the typical go behind a curtain, undress from the waist down, small sheet to cover you, lie on the bed with legs in stirrups, exam takes about a minute, done and dusted.

mine was completely different - there was no curtain, so I had to get undressed infront of the doctor as she watched, and climb on the table with my downstairs exposed which I’m sure she’s used to but I already felt super embarrassed. There was no small sheet to cover me which I guess maybe isn’t always a thing anyway, There was no stirrups so just lay on my back and before I knew it she was trying to shove the speculum in, but was somehow completely missing the bullseye, and very forcefully jamming it into all areas of my downstairs barring my actual vagina. I’d say I have a high pain tolerance, broken several bones and hasn’t been that bad, but this was absolutely excruciating, I mean it genuinely felt like she’d gotten a knife and was stabbing me hard, she kept going in and out in and out and at this point I was writhing in pain, she didn’t stop she just kept going, like a stab in the dark literally. I told her to go further down because she was hitting my vulva and the pain was becoming unbearable at this point as she’d been at it for several minutes, but I wanted it over and done with because I knew if I’d gotten up and left then, then i wouldn’t have booked for another try.

when she did eventually get the speculum in it was just a shot in the dark and she shoved it in with such force I felt my entire insides scraped like carpet burn.

i know smear tests are very normal, but I can’t help but feel this wasn’t how it was meant to go, I understand it may not always be easy to find the right spot at first, but at least go slower or be gentle. There was blood on the table and me when she was done, and when I got home I was bleeding still and had bled through my underwear.

am I over reacting? I felt so shaken and light headed, now I just feel dirty and ashamed. It was so rough and agonising, I don’t know how the hell im going to convince myself to get one next time. I have thick skin when it comes to doctors and procedures, needles, surgery, blood you name it and it doesn’t phase me, so I know it was bad enough that it’s actually had an effect on me, but does this sound pretty standard for a first time smear test? Am I just being sensitive?

You’re not sure what they were expecting? Maybe for the GP/nurse to be so brutal and maybe try to work with the OP instead of shoving something inside of her

If it was just a ‘bit’ painful I wouldn’t have made this post. Not sure you read it properly, it was agonising.

Why do you say that?

No I’m not suggesting she inserted it into my anus? I don’t get what you mean about genital trauma/religion ?

There are some odd replies on this post

OP it definitely doesn’t sound normal, I was aghast reading this

My experience has generally been much as your expectations were – get undressed behind a curtain, paper to cover you when you lie down, then the person comes in to do the smear. Always easy and with no discomfort. Then they leave to let you get dressed again.

I cannot fathom how they managed to bash you multiple times with the speculum rather than insert it. It sounds really bad.

I wouldn't say that was normal, no. All my smears. I've had a curtain to get undressed and dressed behind, and also had a sheet to place over my lower half, and the nurse always says to let her know I'm ready before opening the curtain up. Never had stirrups, just feet up and knees flopped to the sides and hands under my bum cos I have a retroverted uterus. Then once it's done the nurse will step away, drawer the curtains whilst I clean myself up a bit and get dressed again. I've only ever had one really painful one, which was my first one and I tensed like mad.

This. While some doctors are better at giving smear tests the others it shouldn't be anything liken that. Inexcusable behaviour by the doctor.

No, this is not okay and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Please make a complaint. If it was so easy to do this to you then it's easy to do to others as well.
I've never had a smear test due to CPTSD from being raped and also a traumatic experience being held down by two nurses with a speculum in hospital who said I was having a suspected miscarriage, which wasn't the case at all. DD is 12 now. That trial the NHS were supposed to do with women taking their own smears years ago never amounted to anything.
If men can get blood tests instead of prostate exams, why can't we evolve this unnecessary intrusion?

thats very odd, I can confirm that isn’t the case here…

Yeah I’m a bit baffled by some of the responses on here!

im glad its not just me who thinks it wasn’t okay, im going to look into making a complaint in the morning, never made a complaint to the NHS before so will do some research

Interesting several people have mentioned the feet together and knees flopped to the side - don’t know why she didn’t just suggest that in the moment

Gosh that sounds absolutely awful, I’m sorry they did that to you. I always thought to trust doctors/nurses as they’re meant to know what they’re doing - and I’m sure majority do - but sometimes they get it wrong and then the damage is done :/

Really sorry to hear this it sounds awful. I think you should discuss with the manager or director of the clinic in person and then follow up with a written complaint.

I have had two or three and it’s always straightforward. It’s private, paper cover and optional paper g-string, doctor says what they are doing before collection and being very quick and painless.

I have always been given dignity when getting changed, usually had the small sheet. Have had some issues getting the speculum in and do find it very painful, however the pain tends to be towards my cervix which bends to one side and they tend to have difficulty in reaching the cervix, which I've always assumed is the cause of the pain and discomfort. There is usually a small amount of blood afterwards. Most noticeably though, there have usually been two people in the room, not at my request, they have always talked to me, always reassured me and explained what they were doing, always asked if I needed them to stop, or stopped immediately at my request and always been lovely afterwards, reassuring me that all women find them uncomfortable - even one time making me lie back because I was dizzy and getting me a cup of water.

What you have described is absolutely horrific and disturbing. If your account is genuine, there is no excuse for what she has done to you, please report this so it doesn't happen to anyone else.

Horrific. Definitely complain.

In future if you make them aware that you find smears painful they can prescribe drugs to help with the pain. You can take them in the waiting room before the appointment.

They can also make an extra long appointment and make sure there are two people in the room, one to reassure you.

Jesus that would put me off for life. I have yearly smears and never anything like that. They always have a curtain and I always get given a sheet or towel to cover myself with. I’ve had GP’s , nurses, consultants everyone doing them. A woman should know where a smear test goes so after she missed it twice I’d be off the table asking for someone else.

Why was a GP doing your smear?? I've never heard of that and I've had smears at various different surgeries. It's always been a nurse who did them.

Your YouTube searches were pretty accurate minus the stirrups.

Please make a formal complaint. That GP either is completely incompetent or might have assaulted you for fun? What a horrific experience.

I’ve had several smear tests due to family history and a few abnormal cells and while I don’t see much point in recounting them, as I do think the stirrups, area to change, use of modesty cloth will vary with location, what I will say is NO - I have never, ever, ever bled from a smear, and I even have a condition which means I often have just healing wounds down there or new scars. I’ve never had them “miss the bulls-eye,” I’ve never had them not talk me through what they were doing so nothing would come as a surprise, and I admit the speculum can be uncomfortable but it’s supposed to be used very slowly and in the right place.

@DearSwan If this is an exact retelling of how your smear went, I think: you can complain about changing (even in areas without separate changing, the doctor leaves the room for a few minutes; I’ve never had the doctor stand there with me), you may not be able to complain about the lack of modesty cloth but you should say if you felt uncomfortable without it; and then basically just the bulk of your complaint could be the entire story of your smear as you wrote here. Everyone will know it’s wrong. It’s so awful that it’s almost impossible to believe some horrific person didn’t just come in off the street and do it. I’m so sorry, @DearSwan

It really shouldn't be agonising. I had one the other day and it was nothing like you described, although I have had some similar experiences of people digging around and it was very painful. Never had them expecting me to get undressed in front of them; that's outrageous. If the room was really that small they should have stepped out to let you get undressed and a sheet of modesty paper should also be provided.

I would also complain. They should have them done by the practice nurse. It makes no sense to use up GP time that could be used for diagnosis and prescribing. Our practice nurse does them all the time and is therefore very skilled. She didn't hurt me at all. She also did the knees apart approach; I wonder if the knees up is old fashioned because I think some of my early ones may have been like that (I'm very old!).

I thought they'd changed them now? my last one like like a covid stick and i did it myself. So less traumatic and i've always struggled with having a pap smear. My anxiety was always through the roof. I hated the 'shoe horn' i called it. What you described is not normal from my dealings.

This sounds awful.

I agree with other posters that stirrups are unusual in the UK. I've had many smears and never had them.

Curtain - sometimes, depends on which room is being used. Mine have always been carried out by a practice nurse. Maybe a gp doesn't do so many and that's why she was so awful.

The nurse always makes sure the door is locked. If there's no curtain, she'll go and stand somewhere else for a couple of minutes and busy herself so she's not watching me undress.

The brutality you described is awful and unacceptable. If any part of a smear is painful, a practice nurse is usually apologetic and sympathetic. It's not a pleasant procedure but they try to make it bearable.

I have never bled during or after a smear.

Please complain but also please understand that this isn't a typical experience and try not to let it put you off having future smear tests.