Went to a book club for the first time.

MsAmerica · 2025-02-28T00:55:02+00:00

I read bigly, but I'm spooked by book clubs, feeling shy, as I just don't feel I'm very articulate talking about books. But there was a meeting in an apartment complex near me, about Stacy Schiff's ^Cleopatra^, which I adored, so I asked if I might come and just sit in a corner, as I was curious to hear their opinions. They welcomed me very cordially, but the funny part was, no one loved it as much as I did, and several of them hadn't even finished reading it. But they asked me to come back, though, which was nice.

Mothership4two · 28/02/2025 01:48

Well done you for getting out there and going!

Book clubs come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes groups can be very serious about discussing the books, whereas others barely talk about the books and just want to have a general chat, and get out of the house basically, and all the variations in between with varying tastes. The one you went to may not be a 'fit' for you but if it is held in your building it's very convenient. I have noticed that when people express strong opinions about the book others may be swayed or not speak up if they disagree - so it's possible that some of the others at your meeting were more in agreement with you than it appeared. Funnily enough we have found that the best meetings are when people feel very differently about the book and the ones where we all agree are the most dull. We also have members who want to sit in and listen and maybe chip in occasionally. We're quite relaxed about DNF too.

I'm very shy too and when I started going to my book club I was quite quiet, but the more I went, and got to know the other members, the more comfortable I felt about expressing myself and now, several years later, I have somehow ended up running it!

Hope you continue enjoy it if you decide to keep going.

Cleopatra is now going on the 'to read' pile

Deathraystare · 28/02/2025 10:41

That's good @MsAmerica

I joined a book club and we are all best friends now! It is more a chance to meet up, drink tea and eat. we don't go into much depth which I guess is a bit pointless but we say if we enjoyed it or not.

I am meeting them all tonight at the theatre!

Beebsta · 28/02/2025 11:03

I joined a book club recently and it’s lovely. We spend about 10 minutes talking about the book & the rest of the time just chatting. Keep gong and at the next one just contribute one or two thoughts about the book.

MissyB1 · 28/02/2025 11:07

I'm jealous! I've been wanting to join a book club for years but they seem to be a closed shop in my town, you need to know someone who invites you to join. I don't seem to have the right connections - story of my life 😂

Beebsta · 28/02/2025 12:00

MissyB1 · 28/02/2025 11:07

I'm jealous! I've been wanting to join a book club for years but they seem to be a closed shop in my town, you need to know someone who invites you to join. I don't seem to have the right connections - story of my life 😂

Mine was started by someone putting up a post on the local Facebook page. You could start a book club the same way!

tobee · 28/02/2025 16:03

MissyB1 · 28/02/2025 11:07

I'm jealous! I've been wanting to join a book club for years but they seem to be a closed shop in my town, you need to know someone who invites you to join. I don't seem to have the right connections - story of my life 😂

Gordon Bennett! When did book clubs get so highfalutin?!

theboffinsarecoming · 28/02/2025 16:10

The book clubs round here are during the day in the week when I'm at work.

Dappy777 · 28/02/2025 16:29

They can be wonderful, so long as you've got the right people, by which I mean people with manners – people who know how to behave (who make eye contact, listen, don't talk over you, don't show off, don't try and impress, don't monopolise/dominate). The worst are those who treat the other members like rivals. You know, people who have to 'win' the discussion – prove they know more than you, disagree just for the sake of it, etc. Another pet hate is people who wait for you to finish and then talk about something completely different. It is good manners to respond to what the other person just said, even if you politely disagree. I would far rather chat to someone who could barely read but had nice manners than someone with a PhD from Oxford but foul manners.

Anyway, sorry, had to get that off my chest lol. In my experience, book groups generally attract pleasant, civilized people. Unfortunately (and this has also been my experience), you only need one twat to join and the whole thing is ruined.

Dappy777 · 28/02/2025 16:30

MissyB1 · 28/02/2025 11:07

I'm jealous! I've been wanting to join a book club for years but they seem to be a closed shop in my town, you need to know someone who invites you to join. I don't seem to have the right connections - story of my life 😂

Start your own! Pick a book you want to read and then put up an advert asking if anyone wants to read it with you.

ChloeCannotCanCan · 28/02/2025 16:36

MissyB1 · 28/02/2025 11:07

I'm jealous! I've been wanting to join a book club for years but they seem to be a closed shop in my town, you need to know someone who invites you to join. I don't seem to have the right connections - story of my life 😂

In the village where I live you have to apply to join the book club and then, when there's a space (I.e someone dies...) there's an interview to see if you will be acceptable to join...

I set up a rival group by advertising for members on the local Facebook page - we read less intellectual books and drink a lot of wine - it's great! 😂

burnoutbabe · 28/02/2025 16:37

I joined one last summer. Luckily it's mostly discussing the book.

I don't tend to like most books picked so it's more to expand my reading to "better stuff" and rest of the month read lovely trash novels.

Then worry about my selection each time.

notatinydancer · 28/02/2025 16:48

MissyB1 · 28/02/2025 11:07

I'm jealous! I've been wanting to join a book club for years but they seem to be a closed shop in my town, you need to know someone who invites you to join. I don't seem to have the right connections - story of my life 😂

U3A have them near me , and the library.

Mine's in a bookshop , you'd just have to come and ask to join.

ItGhoul · 28/02/2025 16:58

I'd like to go to a book club where, instead of everyone having to read the same book and discuss it, you all just talk about the different books you've been reading over the past month and get recommendations from each other.

teentantrums · 28/02/2025 17:00

I am in a book club but it isnt as strict as some of these! It is nice just to chat, have a glass of wine and discuss what you thought of the book (even if you failed to finish it!)

StrugglingwithIvanhoe · 28/02/2025 17:06

ItGhoul · 28/02/2025 16:58

I'd like to go to a book club where, instead of everyone having to read the same book and discuss it, you all just talk about the different books you've been reading over the past month and get recommendations from each other.

Agreed, it would be interesting to hear what others are reading and enjoying (or not). I'm put off "normal" book clubs by everybody having to read a certain book. They are rarely something I would choose myself, and it's too much like being back at school with set books!

senua · 28/02/2025 17:07

ItGhoul · 28/02/2025 16:58

I'd like to go to a book club where, instead of everyone having to read the same book and discuss it, you all just talk about the different books you've been reading over the past month and get recommendations from each other.

These sorts of book club can be awful. It turns competitive and people brag about how many books they have read in the month. I much prefer to keep it to the one, same book.

teentantrums · 28/02/2025 17:17

StrugglingwithIvanhoe · 28/02/2025 17:06

Agreed, it would be interesting to hear what others are reading and enjoying (or not). I'm put off "normal" book clubs by everybody having to read a certain book. They are rarely something I would choose myself, and it's too much like being back at school with set books!

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I already talk to my friends (and they to me) about the books we like. I am not sure this approach offers anything more.

MissyB1 · 28/02/2025 18:16

ChloeCannotCanCan · 28/02/2025 16:36

In the village where I live you have to apply to join the book club and then, when there's a space (I.e someone dies...) there's an interview to see if you will be acceptable to join...

I set up a rival group by advertising for members on the local Facebook page - we read less intellectual books and drink a lot of wine - it's great! 😂

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They could make a midsummer murder out of this - someone gets murdered to create a space in the book club!

ChloeCannotCanCan · 28/02/2025 18:24

A murder set in a book club - That's is a fantastic idea!

burnoutbabe · 28/02/2025 18:45

teentantrums · 28/02/2025 17:00

I am in a book club but it isnt as strict as some of these! It is nice just to chat, have a glass of wine and discuss what you thought of the book (even if you failed to finish it!)

But I can have casual chats with mates about "books we are reading right now" and our book club can also discuss "other good stuff they recommend"

I suppose i don't want it for making friends, though everyone is friendly. It's too read more books :different books to usual -rather than a social group.

GoldMoon · 28/02/2025 18:49

The book group I attend is pretty laid back .
It only lasts around an hour , we catch up with each other the first 10 mins or so , then talk about the book before letting the rest of the group know about books we've recently also read . Then all go off for a drink !

LBHSisgreat · 28/02/2025 21:26

@MsAmerica I looked that book up and I think I'll like it - I tend to read via Audible so I've ordered it on there. Thank you!

Mothership4two · 01/03/2025 04:08

ItGhoul · 28/02/2025 16:58

I'd like to go to a book club where, instead of everyone having to read the same book and discuss it, you all just talk about the different books you've been reading over the past month and get recommendations from each other.

Our book club ends with a round up of other books people have read. Personally I enjoy the discussion about the same book that we have read.

GoldMoon · 01/03/2025 08:59

The good thing about book groups , is that you get to read books you probably wouldn't have picked to read yourself .
Also what I find is the sessions that stand out for me is when the book is hit & miss between the participants , it makes the discussion more interesting than if we've all enjoyed it .

TeaRoseTallulah · 01/03/2025 09:02

ItGhoul · 28/02/2025 16:58

I'd like to go to a book club where, instead of everyone having to read the same book and discuss it, you all just talk about the different books you've been reading over the past month and get recommendations from each other.

Can't you just bring that up in conversation? That's what happens at the one I go to.