Went to a book club for the first time.

[MsAmerica]

I read bigly, but I'm spooked by book clubs, feeling shy, as I just don't feel I'm very articulate talking about books. But there was a meeting in an apartment complex near me, about Stacy Schiff's Cleopatra, which I adored, so I asked if I might come and just sit in a corner, as I was curious to hear their opinions.

They welcomed me very cordially, but the funny part was, no one loved it as much as I did, and several of them hadn't even finished reading it.

But they asked me to come back, though, which was nice.

@AnonymousJoyceLover would it be outing to share how/where you do this? I am after something a bit more in depth than my book club - ideally, I would do a MA but funds won’t allow for now, but I want a bit of rigour

I found a website for book clubs and joined that way!

Ha! That's a brilliant response @Bodumb

Google "silent book club" in your area

I think all book groups are different. And what people want is different.
Our local bookshop runs 4 book groups, held at a pub (poetry, short story, fiction, non fiction) and I'm dipping my toe in, after giving them a miss for a while.
My bg hates are people who can't read a book within a month, and demand that they're not told what the ending is.
Plus people who really aren't bothered about books and are there for the natter and a glass of wine.
Also people who bring every discussion round to their pet project, no matter what the book is.
But
I have read so many books that I otherwise wouldn't have thought of reading, which I'm grateful for.

'Bigly' though, OP? Really?

Oh, my goodness. Sorry about the "bigly." It's a new Americanism. I don't normally use it. It must have just slipped out in an absent-minded moment. At some point, Donald Trump said it, and he was widely mocked, already known for his poor vocabulary. But it was picked up and used facetiously by others. Personally, I have the feeling he was mis-heard, and that he was actually saying "big-league."

If there's a way to contact then then I'd do that and say you're interested in going.

@AgualusasLover I sent you a PM with info a while ago - hope you got that OK?

We have a local newsletter pushed in the door each month, it lists local events, and several book groups are on there. They must welcome new people, if they are advertised. I think asking in a library could be good too.

My book group has been going for 16 years. I started it when my youngest was a baby and I needed an outlet.
Like many others have commented, ours is also very low key.
We chat about the book for a bit and then eat, drink and chat.
Certain books have resulted in longer discussions than others!
A Little Life being one.

What is the name of the website,
please ?

@ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea this is the one I used. Think there are lots of similar sites.

https://findabookclub.co.uk/

I’m in two.
One , we’ve known each other a long time , we chat about the book first then other things. We all pick up choices for next time and vote.
Two , bookshop owner steers it and has questions. She picks a selection for the next month and we vote.

I'm in two as well @notatinydancer , one, like yours, where we vote on our reads and conversation can go far and wide and the other a community one run by an English lecturer where you get what you get and we focus on the books. It can get a bit schizophrenic when reading two very different types of books sometimes!

Did you go back @MsAmerica or try another group?

How nice of you to ask. I doubt I'll try any other group. I'm somehow intimidated by book clubs. Despite the fact that I'm constantly reading, I don't feel I have anything intelligent to say about books - which is odd, because I can hold forth very happily about movies.
But I've kept an eye on the books being read by that one group, and although I haven't been moved to read any of them - I have so much already - if one catches my eye, I might jump back in.
:)

Someone nicely asked if I went again, or elsewhere, so I'm posting a sequel

I found the exact same situation of a club discussing a book I'd read in the past, leaving me curious about what they'd say. Except this time it was quite a distance, taking me a long time to get there. I called beforehand, just to make sure it would be all right, and was welcomed very cordially. The book was the scifi novel, The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula LeGuin, which for me is notable for having the startlingly unique premise of a society that is asexual most of the time, then briefly sexual, like estrus - but the gender may change and the person has no control over it, nor any knowledge of what gender he/she may be next time!

This one was at a library, although I don't think it was run by the library. It was BIG compared to my first one, about 20 people. And had a few men. We were at long tables moved to form a square, and, as before, I politely said I was happy to sit in a corner and listen, but the two moderators said, No, no, sit right here and join in. Despite the size, it worked better than I would have expected. They began with the suggestion of going one by one around the circle, with everyone introducing themselves and commenting briefly.

Then they were off and running. It was fun. I must say that it was all about the premise and the ramifications of the gender situation, nothing about the style, or the book-as-book. Interestingly, many people spoke of it in terms of contemporary relevance, which hadn't occurred to me. Weirdly, several people admitted to not finishing the book (and in one or two cases, not having actually read it at all). It was, oddly, much more participatory than my first experience, which is the opposite of what I expected. I mean, I would have thought the smaller group would have been speaking up more readily. But even though this involved speaking across the considerable distance of the square of tables, everyone was pleasantly assertive, mostly sensible, and occasionally astute. (One guy said something I didn't agree with at all, that the book had been very influential, making connections to Star Trek and such, which I find dubious at best.)

Anyway, the one thing both groups had in common was that they were very cordial to an intruder! In fact, I was even offered a ride home, since I came from so far. (No, I didn't take him up on it, but I did accept a ride to the bus stop.)

I think this applies to most groups. Thinking of a social hobby I have Lovely people, no egos, everyone getting on great. One woman arrives who dominates everything. Always talking about herself and singling out those who are in her ‘club’ like the Queen Bee at school. The favoured ones fawn on her, others who don’t much like her stay quiet or don’t come anymore. She’s changed everything for the worse.

Same thing happened in our group @Ladedahlia but she wasn't fawned over, people found her irritating and I noticed she shut down some of the group. After a few times the guy who runs it had a quiet word, she was very apologetic but didn't really change, after another word she flounced.

It's annoying how one person can change the whole group dynamic.

Well done @MsAmerica

Well, but The Left Hand of Darkness has been hugely influential, @MsAmerica! It’s been compared to Frankenstein, arguably the founding novel of the genre, won major awards, has been endlessly reprinted and debated, is generally viewed as a key moment in the conventions of sci-fi being changed, and even been included in his Western Canon by Harold Bloom, who doesn’t much care for genre fiction or writing by women. And obviously outside the world of books.

Controversial opinion: you shouldn’t attend if you haven’t read the book!

Both book clubs that I go to are very relaxed about members not having read or not finished the book. They may not be able to discuss specifics, but can contribute to more general questions such as settings, themes, genre, type of characters, etc. They just have to accept that they are going to hear spoilers.

I'm perfectly willing to accept the idea that others are smarter, better read, and more astute than I - meaning I'm wrong.
But I want to be clear that I'm not talking about either the quality of LeGuin's book or her imagination.
I'm not disputing that it's well-written, and after all these years, I can't think of anything more inventive than that idea of changing gender. But, to me, "influential" means that it changed things broadly in imitative ways. For instance, presumably Tolkien was "influential" in the rise of the fantasy saga.
Feel free to prove me wrong - all the more so because I'm not up on sci-fi - but I don't feel that LeGuin pulled many people down the same path as Left Hand of Darkness.

Lol! Part of me agrees. But part of me understands that it's also just a group of congenial people, and these days anything that brings people together is fine with me.
One person there who hadn't even cracked the book, piped up with, Wow, I'm definitely going to read it after listening to all this!