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Original poster

Spare - anyone reading it and want to discuss

82 replies

OneFrenchEgg · 15/01/2023 21:10

Not in an anti M&H/royalty way, or in a. 'Snippets from TikTok' way but I'm reading it and there are bits it would be nice to talk about.

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Catsstillrock · 15/01/2023 21:19

Yes me. General I’m enjoying it and finding it insightful.

not too many surprises (I work in Govt so the way different departments or ministers brief against each other is v similar to what he says happens at the palace).

things I am surprised on so far:

lack of media training / support. This astonishes me. Eg after his second tour of Afghanistan he does a pre planned interview. Why didn’t the palace or the army press teams brief him on the purpose and what they were aiming for. Likely questions (especially did you kill anyone) prepare him on how to answer. Again, I work in a similar field and this is standard.

he seems naïve in this - of course the benefit of having him there was to get better coverage of the war. Royals are marketing machines but loving it maybe it’s hard to be aware of that.

but REALLY why didn’t the media team prep him?

have a couple of other thoughts will come back after tucking older DC in!

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 15/01/2023 21:30

Thanks - love your insight from the media training point of view. I'm very much reading it with empathy for losing a parent at a young age.
I've been a bit shocked at some of the spite - I don't know why but he seems all about mental health and the comment about Will losing his resemblance to Diana felt unnecessary and wounding. The comments about Pat felt unjustified - that kind of thing.
I laughed a lot at them setting up home together and the fridge being stocked with precooked meals from Pa's chef - no hint of how privileged he is!
I am enjoying it though, I think the writing and tone is good.

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Catsstillrock · 15/01/2023 22:14

Yes agree the early comment on Will loosing the Diana resemblance was cruel.

im quite a long way in now and the main thing I’m getting from it is just how cruel the palace machine and family members can be (with the added layer of who knows / requests / condones / turns a blind eye to what).

and that as the younger sibling he got a lot of the indifference and cruelty.

im shocked the Palace doesn’t have a standard approach to support girlfriends / boyfriends / partners of the high profile Royals

the harassment they all got - Diana, Kate, Chelsea, Cressida, Meghan is awful and unacceptable and so unnecessary.

an approach of both media management support and security could be provided and it wouldn’t be that costly in the grand scheme of things.

the book also confirms for me the need to change our privacy and press regulations so that the kind of harassment the press and paparazzi perpetrates has some boundaries, with real consequences for going beyond them.

i gather if your family gets caught up in a high profile case (eg abduction) then the press hound the distressed and grieving family members. That is so awful, and serves no purpose and we should do more to stop that.

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 15/01/2023 22:39

Yes that lack of press regulation and blurring if public v private is shocking. I've culled loads of FB posts and checked all my privacy settings having seen the press farm FB during any incident.
I do feel for him with the gfs; surprised he didn't reflect back to Kate also getting it.
I was quite surprised that the brothers never seemed close, it felt quite a sad childhood and adolescence for him.

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Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 15/01/2023 22:40

I'm also finding it good that he is honest about his feelings for previous gfs and hasn't diminished those now that he is married.

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SheilaFentiman · 15/01/2023 22:41

I’ve just finished it!

I found it v surprising that they let him try and go to the Pole without all suitable briefings.

SheilaFentiman · 15/01/2023 22:42

OneFrenchEgg · 15/01/2023 22:40

I'm also finding it good that he is honest about his feelings for previous gfs and hasn't diminished those now that he is married.

Agree with this.

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 15/01/2023 22:48

Yes, it did feel a bit dangerous! I'm surprised at how much he has revealed about fairly intimate things!
I was interested in the detail on palace life as a child, and the bodyguards at Eton.

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SheilaFentiman · 15/01/2023 22:51

Yes! I actually preferred that part of the book. I’m quite surprised he didn’t say more about the wedding (other than the bridesmaid dress and beard arguments) - what it was like in the chapel, maybe, after the descriptions of balmoral etc

Maverickess · 15/01/2023 22:54

I'm about a quarter in, so I am probably yet to get to the more controversial stuff, but so far I think he's just being honest about what it was like to lose his mum at 12 and how the media and coverage around it affected him, and of course the 'spare' thing, my view so far is that he just accepted it, that he knew that William wasn't necessarily the favourite son/grandson, or more important in the family, but he was more important in the 'firm', the hierarchy, to the country because he was a future king. Not because of the person he was, but because he was born first.

I don't see any of the whining I heard about (yet) - just him being truthful about his life and how he experienced events, and how he reacted to them.

At this point I'm feeling strongly that he should have just made a career in the army, it seemed to be the first place he felt he belonged because he was faceless and nameless and didn't stand out - something he struggled with being on the other side of.

SheilaFentiman · 15/01/2023 23:10

I agree, the army would have been good to stay in longer.

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 16/01/2023 06:50

I'm halfway through, it's harder to read at pace I'm finding. It junk with the army there were problems with sustaining relationships and with his cover being blown - maybe the press would have calmed down though had he stayed?
I haven't really seen much whining, but I think his privilege and 'posh kid' experiences makes him hard to relate to (like the hunting) for me.

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SheilaFentiman · 16/01/2023 16:51

Yeah, true… it might have needed to be a non combat role (pilot training or something).

I do find it mildly baffling that, in a castle of 200 odd rooms, the third in line to the throne had a crappy half bedroom. Yes, “posh kid”, but if you visited your granny and she had three spare rooms and put your brother in the best one with a telly and you in the worst one, when the medium one was much nicer, I can see it grating

fruitstick · 16/01/2023 16:56

I enjoyed it. I found the army stuff really interesting and he clearly has seen and done a lot.

His love of Africa and the outdoors in general seemed sincere and heartfelt.

Some bits about William are a bit petty but he just feels very sad about everything.

The press are the real villains of the book so no wonder they have gone for him. It all really proves his point.

SheilaFentiman · 16/01/2023 17:01

I actually think Camilla’s suggestion for a job might have worked well (no idea if it was in HMQ’s gift, though) - a long way away but still serving the RF/country!

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 16/01/2023 17:21

SheilaFentiman · 16/01/2023 16:51

Yeah, true… it might have needed to be a non combat role (pilot training or something).

I do find it mildly baffling that, in a castle of 200 odd rooms, the third in line to the throne had a crappy half bedroom. Yes, “posh kid”, but if you visited your granny and she had three spare rooms and put your brother in the best one with a telly and you in the worst one, when the medium one was much nicer, I can see it grating

Yes that was weird. I wonder if there was a reason like having certain rooms not in use and these ones being connected somehow.

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Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 16/01/2023 17:23

The press are the real villains of the book so no wonder they have gone for him. It all really proves his point.

He really seems to struggle with the morality of a family (small f) having a pact with the press to maintain The Family

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Benjispruce4 · 16/01/2023 17:24

Not got very far. Am shocked at the lack of mental health care after Diana died. Back to school two weeks later and nobody , staff, friends or family spoke to him about it.

Menstrualcycledisplayteam · 16/01/2023 17:33

OneFrenchEgg · 16/01/2023 17:23

The press are the real villains of the book so no wonder they have gone for him. It all really proves his point.

He really seems to struggle with the morality of a family (small f) having a pact with the press to maintain The Family

I've said this on another thread but it's like the Vardy v. Rooney case but if Vardy had been Rooney's mum or sister. Most people (I think) were on Rooney's side in that case; as far as I'm concerned the fact pattern here is the same.

I'm listening to it on Audible, but am now wishing I'd bought it. His reading is brilliant but I'd be getting through it a lot faster if I'd bought a paper copy.

What is super clear is how few people commenting on other threads have actually read it. Because the book isn't remotely how it has been presented in the papers.

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 16/01/2023 17:40

Benjispruce4 · 16/01/2023 17:24

Not got very far. Am shocked at the lack of mental health care after Diana died. Back to school two weeks later and nobody , staff, friends or family spoke to him about it.

I lost my parent about 8 years before that; similar age. The aftercare at that time was terrible. Teachers out of Theo depth and a real sense that the loss was that of the other adults

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HilaryThorpe · 17/01/2023 16:21

I think it shows how awful it is living in a gilded cage. It isn't just family disagreements, rival comms and the press, it is the relentless public interest and scrutiny. When Diana died I hated the way some of the press and the public did the whole "come out and show us your grief" thing.
I think it must be very hard to grow up sane in that environment and that comes through in the book.
i agree that he was happiest in the army and I found those chapters fascinating.

been and done it. · 17/01/2023 17:20

I've just started it on my kindle free sample.
So far though I've found it interesting and will probably buy it. I've not got to anything majorly controversial yet.

Lndnmummy · 17/01/2023 17:26

The extent of his vulnerability has really moved me. Not surprising if you think of it; dysfunctional royal family, messy and public divorce, mother's bulimia, mothers death, abandoned at boarding school, dad remarries, family deception, fear of life, racisim, impact of war etc. Each one of these is enough to sink many. But ALL of them?

Lndnmummy · 17/01/2023 17:28

Menstrualcycledisplayteam · 16/01/2023 17:33

I've said this on another thread but it's like the Vardy v. Rooney case but if Vardy had been Rooney's mum or sister. Most people (I think) were on Rooney's side in that case; as far as I'm concerned the fact pattern here is the same.

I'm listening to it on Audible, but am now wishing I'd bought it. His reading is brilliant but I'd be getting through it a lot faster if I'd bought a paper copy.

What is super clear is how few people commenting on other threads have actually read it. Because the book isn't remotely how it has been presented in the papers.

Show quote history

Yes! I keep seeing the headlines and thinking "did we read the same book".

Lndnmummy · 17/01/2023 17:28

I have finished the book but will be careful to not spoil.