Spare - anyone reading it and want to discuss

[OneFrenchEgg]

Not in an anti M&H/royalty way, or in a. 'Snippets from TikTok' way but I'm reading it and there are bits it would be nice to talk about.

If there some massive plot twist that this is an exercise in press manipulation 😂 ...

I just think that if those rooms were always used as the nursery then that’s all it would have been, despite another gazillion bedrooms. I expect if his cousins were there on other occasions and W&H weren’t, they’d have been bunged in the nursery too.

Maybe - i imagine they just have loads of rooms closed off. Im enjoying it but still ploughing through, it's not a quick read for me at all.

I've read it. Having lived with drug-addled and narcissistic family, Iit echoes so, so true to those traits and it's all just a pile of shite that can't be believed. When so, so many details are so muddled/proved to be lies, it's laughable to believe anything in there and quite sad that so many people who haven't had to live a life with family like that are very lucky to have such a naieve view of such an innaccurate work of fiction.

It’s not well written. How many times does he say his memory isn’t good and I’m not even halfway through! Then why write a book?

I feel like that's deliberate to avoid people going through and finding that 'recollections may vary' - im reading it as an insight into his experience of life and not a factual record if you see what i mean?

Regarding his army career and the comments how he should have stayed in it. As an officer and him being a member of the royal family then he would have had to be promoted. It is no secret he is not very bright and would not have been up to promotion to the rank up from the one he was when he left. The royal family get into schools, universities and jobs beyond their capabilities but that can be covered up. In the services you can take it from me , it can’t be. Staying I was not an option no matter how that fact is covered up.

Thanks, Terri

Following as I’m also reading and finding it fascinating. His narration on the audio version is outstanding. Real dramatic range and humour as well as pathos

I’ve finished it. In the later stages when Meghan is on the scene, he describes talking to Charles and Wills before he proposes to her.

wills has already made it clear he disapproves and then Charles asks if she wants to keep working and when Harry replies that of course isn’t workable, she’ll come and support him in his Royal duties, Charles says ‘well there’s not enough money to go around’ and ‘I can’t pay for anyone else’

i mean…. WOW

the press sure are selective given they’ve not written that up.

what a mean, cold and untrue thing to say

overall it’s so clear Harry just wants the love and approval of his father and brother and they withhold it time and again.

i think he’s right too that jealousy (or insecurity) is a big driver for their behaviour

@Catsstillrock I agree BUT remember this is his recollection.

I sympathise with him on so many levels, and I think he is a rare example of a privileged person who has challenged themselves somewhat.

However- he never seems to question whether the monarchy should exist. He resents that William is more important and gets things he doesn't. So he can comprehend the unfairness of that. But then doesn't connect that he, Harry, is 'more important' and gets more things than 99% of the population based on the exact same system that ranks his brother above him.

He wants to serve the monarch and represent them. He's fine with some people sitting above others, so long as he's at the top I guess.

I don't know, that bothers me.

I feel so sorry for him about his mum, I think the British press have tormented him and he is genuinely traumatised, I think what he was put through as a boy was child abuse and his whole family are batshit and mean.

BUT- he is still so incredibly unaware of his privilege. Complaining that his free housing from the queen was smaller than his brothers etc.

It would be better to see him grapple with his privilege and explore the nuance of that more.

Obviously rich people can suffer and he has, but I found it hard to relate because he seems like he's lived on another planet.

Most people buy discounted sofas on their credit cards and are happy to do it.

Agree that it's not well written and feels rushed. Maybe it works better as an audiobook.

I've enjoyed reading this thread and your thoughts on the book. I'm not likely to buy it, I'm not a royalist and although I'm a keen reader this isn't my genre. I'm also not into celebrity and didn't know the show Suits, so was unaware of Meghan before she and Harry met. However, I have been angry at the press and so called news for years and have got to the point where if it isn't in The Economist or such like then I don't want to hear about it, and I found the way the press treated Meghan deeply embarrassing regarding this vile aspect of our culture.

So i watched the Netflix thing they did. As with the book, I'm happy with this being their account, their story. I feel Harry is on a huge story ark re privilege and it seems to me that he's genuinely grappling with this in positive ways. In the show, in the last episode he utters the common refrain "speak truth to power", and I was glad for him that he's got this far so far. He is a stranger in a strange land re privilege, but he comes across as someone who's working on this.

overall it’s so clear Harry just wants the love and approval of his father and brother and they withhold it time and again.

That's exactly what I took from the book too. Poor Harry. Even as a grown man he struck me as a lost boy in need of a parent and a family.

I did think that part 3 had a bit of a change in tone. It was less reflective and felt more combative. It was a bit strange.

But overall I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

I need to catch up! He's just done a short tour of America so I'm a bit midway through.
I do agree that there is no wider view of inherited status being a problem, just if he's not at the top. It's a very small world view, concentrated only on his family and friends and not on the wider 'system'.

no hint of how privileged he is!

I’ve read the whole thing - and this is a pretty decent summary of the whole thing. The bits that the press have frothed about have undoubtedly been taken out of context, but the whole thing just oozes entitlement and unrecognised privilege and he just comes across as an insufferable prick. There’s a constant refrain of “it wasn’t my fault”, with no sense whatsoever that some of the things he said and did in his youth were pretty foolish/unkind/inappropriate. There’s constant criticism of his family, without any recognition that they might have tried their best (the “meals from Pa’s chef” being a classic here); in fact, I think he’s deeply unkind to Charles, revealing many of his personal details and struggles that I’m sure he’d have preferred to keep private.

I could go on…..!

Very harsh to his family. I believe that they made him and his wife feel like shit. But I think he needed more time to process his feelings and get a bit more perspective before he wrote his thoughts down for the world to see.

I can see how when it's all still so raw and he feels so betrayed by his family, that he would have an entirely negative lens over every interaction because that's where he is at emotionally at this moment in time. I think if he had waited a few years he would have produced something more balanced and nuanced.

Pretty much how I felt too. I did find the alleged comment ( if true as we only have Harry's perspective) re KC saying about having enough money to pay for Meghan very bizarre. KC must have known Harry would get married at some point.
I felt sorry about him losing his mum, but in the rest of it, he sounds somewhat petty and spiteful.
I still can't comprehend that he had a therapist and yet couldn't get any help for Meghan?

I'm only just starting part three. The start of the book and the aftermath of his mother's death, I don't know how anyone couldn't feel for him. It doesn't matter how privileged you are.

He seems determined to talk about William not wanting to hang out with him at school (normal) and how competitive he was and a few other unnecessary barbs. He doesn't seem to be able to wonder why William might be like this, maybe he wanted to pull away because he was just trying to get through school after Diana died and Harry was a reminder (harsh but W was also a child). Maybe he was sick of H and his getting into trouble and all the drugs which Harry doesn't seem remorseful about. I've got boys and often they see the worst in each other but I'm hoping they'll mature as they get older!

Harry just seems to be the sort of person to take everything as a negative, small rooms, small free apartments, clothing budgets. He doesn't seem thankful for what the rf could actually give him, he fancies a gap year in Australia and South Africa, arranged. He wants to set up a charity, organised for him. Anything he wants is sorted without him having to do any leg work. He even talks about looking around certain places and realising his privilege but then doesn't seem to learn from that until the next time when he suddenly looks around and realises his privilege, just an ongoing cycle.

Charles says ‘well there’s not enough money to go around’ and ‘I can’t pay for anyone else’

But Charles did pay for her so this doesn't make sense. It makes me think that things had been said by Harry (and/or Meghan?) that had given Charles cause to worry about what they were expecting him to pay for in the future. But of course that not been included.

I found that really odd.

Isn't it established who is paid for and who isn't?

There's definitely dawning on me a sense of wanting to know the other side. I'm happy to accept these as his experience and not challenge the accuracy - I don't care if he was skiing or at school when told something for example, or if it was an Xbox or a PS.
But some thing feels a bit disingenuous about the setting up of the games and not telling William til he'd got a done deal. Saying he thought others would have told him is a bit of a cop out.
And the immense privilege of running down the corridor to a police room and commandeering several bodyguards to go rescue your mate! Wow. Doesn't even seem to realise that's completely not a normal experience.

There's definitely dawning on me a sense of wanting to know the other side.

Totally agree. Have you got to the bit where he describes the “summit” between the Sussexes and the Cambridge pair? He describes how Kate was clinging to the side of the sofa so hard that he knuckles were white. There’s clearly been all sorts of stuff that’s gone on between that lot - but this seems not to occur to him at all. It’s all down to “the press”, with the thought seemingly not occurring to him that maybe they just didn’t get on and any animosity was borne entirely out of experience. (Like a lot of people don’t get on with their SIL - as any random thread on here will reveal!)

Totally agree with the lack of recognition of his exceptional position. He finishes his army post? It’s a cup of tea with General Sir Richard Dannett to discuss next steps. My friend is upset that her DD is upset about having to spend half term in a holiday club in the village hall as she can’t get the week off; Harry is bitching about having to accompany Prince Charles to South Africa and meeting the Spice Girls…. Normal life it’s really not. And yes, he didn’t choose it and yes, I can see that being constantly in the public eye must be hard. But he’s had everything on a plate: central London housing, jobs, travel - you name it. And none of it seems to register with him. It’s like he thinks that’s how “normal people” live, but just without the press pack on the doorstep!

@WimpoleHat agree

I suppose everyone he knows socially is extremely wealthy so he compares his lot to theirs. They get money and travel and opportunities without the press intrusions so he thinks that's what life is like for 'normal people'.

Maybe the blow back from this book with encouragement a bit more thought before the next book.