What puts you off a book immediately?

[EishetChayil]

For me it's opening a book and discovering it's written in the second person. I can't bring myself to read on. It makes me squirm too much. Just about acceptable in a (very) short story, but not a whole novel.

I'm also no fan of epistolary form, if I'm perfectly honest.

Authorial sexism. I don't care if a character is sexist, but when the narrative descriptions and depictions of female characters are all sexualised cliches, I give up.

Any book trying to hit the reader over the head with a moral or political message, even if I agree with it. I was given one (very glad I didn't buy it) where the foreword earnestly stated the author's hearty dislike of Party X and said that the book was not to be read by its supporters. Okay. It's rare that I'll put a book in the bin. I made an exception here.

Nonsense with pronouns, especially the howling anachronism of 'nonbinaries' in historical fiction.

Instant love tropes. If you want me to care about a couple, show their relationship developing over time.

Also anything which presents women being murdered as in any way sexy or sexualised. Hard no. That rules out a whole lot of crime fiction.

I've come to the realisation that people trying to do sequels to classics is to be heartily avoided as well, especially if they attempt to make it humorous.

I think it was a Pride and Prejudice one I tried - binned it off after a chapter.

Some books that are thought to be chick-lit turn out to be far from - I place Marian Keyes in that pile. Some of her books qualify as chick-lit, for sure - but the ones associated with the one family with 5 daughters, the Walsh family, hit some pretty big topics pretty hard. Drug and alcohol abuse, DV, grief and loss, depression etc. I remember lending one to a friend (Rachel's Holiday) who gave it back after only one chapter, saying she didn't like "chick lit" - I asked her to persevere and once she'd got into the meat of it she was hooked. It's an excellent study of drug rehab.

Pages and pages and pages of descriptions........ if you feel like you zoned out for second in the first few pages the rest of the book isn't going to be better! (I'm looking at you "Os Maias"!!!! stupid school book)

@grey12

Pages and pages and pages of descriptions........ if you feel like you zoned out for second in the first few pages the rest of the book isn't going to be better! (I'm looking at you "Os Maias"!!!! stupid school book)

I thought that with ‘Lost Children Archive’. The descriptions were very good, but there was so much of it.

If it's been written by Nadine Dorries.

If any character quirks their lips or eyebrows, I’m out of there. It infuriates me. I buy a book on kindle, search for the word, and if the word is used for anything other than an unusual personality trait or habit, I immediately return it for a refund.

Books written by slebs - fiction or non-fiction

Books written by slebs - fiction or non-fiction

Agree but have to point out an exception. I was really surprised by how good a writer Graham Norton is. I got one of his books on a kindle deal and only read the blurb. Didn't realise it was that Graham Norton.

People who are famous for writing their own material in some way can make perfectly good authors. Not always, but it’s clearly within their skill set.

And then there are the others. Who are legion.

@ButtonSister

Books written by slebs - fiction or non-fiction

I'd make an exception here for Tom Fletcher. Obviously kids books, but they've got my DS into reading.

I’m a lazy reader and anything in dialect seems like too much hard work to me.
Eg DH Lawrence (actually I just don’t like his stuff anyway, but the dialect doesn’t help!)

Slightly on a tangent but the reference to Graham Norton reminded me - when books on Audible are read by the author.

Some voices like Graham's or Dawn French's are very difficult to listen to for 10 hours! Ditch your ego and let someone else, more suited read your (sometimes, quite good) book

@Chamomileteaplease

Slightly on a tangent but the reference to Graham Norton reminded me - when books on Audible are read by the author.

Some voices like Graham's or Dawn French's are very difficult to listen to for 10 hours! Ditch your ego and let someone else, more suited read your (sometimes, quite good) book

I know what you mean. A 'neutral' voice is often better. On the 'ego' thing though, I'm not sure that's quite fair; I think publishers decide which books they will have read by the author, for reasons of profile (a lot of readers will be attracted to buying an audiobook if it's read by its high-profile author).

Dawn French is a horrible writer! Ugh. I started one of hers the other day and gave up 30 pages in. Dreadful.

This is a bit later than immediately, and I'm sure there's a reason for this that escapes me, but when you're really getting into a story and then, suddenly, the author starts off with a whole new character that has no reference to the previous person. Or a whole new location. Or period in time.

It can sometimes work, but often it's hugely jarring

I'm afraid I often don't get beyond the cover or title ...

Anything pink, with curly writing, described as a 'cosy' read or with titles similiar to - 'the teashop in windy harbour' or 'the midwife of montpelier' or 'Liverpool child' - is avoided
Ditto anything described as 'this year's must read thriller', using featuring a maverick detective with lots of vices / personal problems

That reminded me that I'm often put off if the quotes on the cover are from other authors, as opposed to newspaper reviewers etc.

@Cordyceps

If any character quirks their lips or eyebrows, I’m out of there. It infuriates me. I buy a book on kindle, search for the word, and if the word is used for anything other than an unusual personality trait or habit, I immediately return it for a refund.

This is a level of ruthlessness I can get behind

@Mummyford , just saw your endorsement of the ursine smile as verbal expression. Thank you.

Sherlock Holmes 'ejaculates' a lot; Mr Brown in the William books (Richmal Crompton) is another prolific ejaculator. I'm guessing the word was in common usage as a slightly more violent version of 'exclaiming' back in the early C20th.
Yes, it was.
You have to do a bit of mental adjusting to read Conan Doyle these days

I hate the two time line trope. The wider the time between the two narratives the more I hate it.

"After her mother dies Ugug, the Neanderthal, is left feeling bereft however she discovers an amazing talent that will change everything.

Jess is sick of her New York life, broken up from her boyfriend and sacked from her high powered job she is ready to give it all up, then the discovery of a box of old stones changes everything".

Just... urgh.

Ugug and Jess swap lives for a day. I would read the shit out of that book!

@beastlyslumber

Ugug and Jess swap lives for a day. I would read the shit out of that book!

Fairplay, I would too! Short day for Jess I would imagine though.