What puts you off a book immediately?

[EishetChayil]

For me it's opening a book and discovering it's written in the second person. I can't bring myself to read on. It makes me squirm too much. Just about acceptable in a (very) short story, but not a whole novel.

I'm also no fan of epistolary form, if I'm perfectly honest.

If any of the reviews on the cover call it "witty".
It invariably isn't.

First person.
Second person.
Switching POV all the time.

“The dragonmage Zz’gs’trymz’n strode forth, his sky-forged sword Hg’grin’dyr the Ever Silent at his side, to join battle with the foe”

That made me laugh!

Oh one thing that annoys the tits off me is when a contrived "plot twist" is introduced that almost certainly would not have happened in real life - like leaving a Really Fucking Important Satchel or whatever behind a chair while spying on someone who wanted to Do You Wrong.
You just wouldn't - but without that contrived plot twist, the story is a lot less convoluted.
(Something like this happened in Kate Mosse's Labyrinth - I swear I honestly threw the book across the room when I read that and almost didn't finish it, I was so cross! Wish I hadn't bothered finishing it, either)

That's one of the most Jane Austen things I've ever read. Are you really not a fan?

I'm really not! But it's the content I object to, not the style of writing. I have to confess to converting dh too. He had always been pretty scornful of the fact I disliked Austen, in spite of my explaining why. Then he re-read one a while back and said "Actually, you know what, you're right!"

Hard science fiction that's just bang-bang-shoot-'em-up set in space with a little spaceship maintenance for the people who like tinkering under the hood of the car.

Except isn't this it's own genre all on its own? Space Opera. I love a bit of space opera because usually it's not terribly complex, it's all very right on and basically I can take 6 weeks to read one b book because it's not complicated! I read these rather than "chick lit" (HATE the name) or other "lighter" reading. (and yes, my user name is the giveaway of how much I enjoy this genre).

When the main character in the first few paragraphs shows just how 'quirky' and relatable they are. I implore you all to never read any of Louise Pentland's books, they're full of every bad thing a book could have.

Lots of paragraphs in italics

When things are poorly researched like one I started which was set in Scotland but was talking about school years with reference to the English system. Anything relating to my profession or area of work that I know to be wrong.

Authors that give characters supernatural powers to read expressions ie "His mouth moved infinitesimally so she knew he was guilty".

When the main character is a writer or owns a book shop roll eyes and goes on and on about reading, loving books, dreams of being a writer etc

It's like the author is that unimaginative they can't think of another hobby or vocation for their main character.

I've thought of another one, where a book makes reference or is based on the plot of an older book or play and uses this to lazily quote whole sections or pages from the other text. David Nicholls - Sweet Sorrow , I'm looking at you ( shame as I loved Us).

Any agreed on the poetry - Crawdads had mixed timeframe and narrators, Southern drawl dialogue, a scarcely believable plot twist and unnecessary insertion of poetry.

I think my pet hates have been covered - dialect or phonetically rendered accents or, worse, made-up languages. Pretentious disregard of punctuation, paragraphs and sentence structure. Poems in the text for any reason - I always skip them. Anything with "page-turner", "crime" or "thriller" in the blurb.

@lazylinguist

That's one of the most Jane Austen things I've ever read. Are you really not a fan?

I'm really not! But it's the content I object to, not the style of writing. I have to confess to converting dh too. He had always been pretty scornful of the fact I disliked Austen, in spite of my explaining why. Then he re-read one a while back and said "Actually, you know what, you're right!"

I actually love the fact that they're about class and all the heroines other than Emma are in danger of losing caste. None of them (other than Emma) are out of the top drawer and the reference to class and the economic worth of women (and men) is nuanced, but runs through all the books like a thread. I think it makes the books rather nervy (as well as funny and incredibly clever.) Anyway, if you don't like books where they all get married in the end, it does limit your choices.

I second unrealistic dialogue - way too often people are supposed to talk in carefully constructed full sentences- it rings so false. As I recall Sorrow and Bliss was bad for this.

I agree with all of these. It's also very useful to my future book-writing.

Useful FOR, not to. Fuck. I promise to edit it carefully.

Fantasy books with stupid names especially if it explains how every Kingdom and king relates to each other. Just get on with it.

I tried to read dune the other day but all the made up fantasy names put me off in the first chapter.

Anyway, if you don't like books where they all get married in the end, it does limit your choices.

Really? I seem to manage! I always have a book on the go and I virtually never read one where they all get married at the end!

Any agreed on the poetry - Crawdads had mixed timeframe and narrators, Southern drawl dialogue, a scarcely believable plot twist and unnecessary insertion of poetry.

Considering more than 10 million copies of Where the Crawdads Sing' have been sold maybe including all possible literary tropes is the way to make money.

Agree on poorly researched and also poorly sub-edited. Characters who change appearance within pages for example, or when a scene set on a Friday is followed by another school day. I know publishing budgets are cut to the bone and this stuff has been largely chopped but it ruins books for me. And authors who don’t do basic research can do done.

Also books in which the main character assembled an unlikely collection of friends who then entirely support their lives, having only known them for weeks.

I don't like long books either.

I have to admit that, while I agree with many of the posts here, I am currently writing a novel that has two different timelines, is told from multiple points of view, has sections written in present tense and sections written in second person, and even has some chunks in italics! It's also about 100k words long.

It's everything that would make me not pick up a book, so I'm not sure why I'm having such a whale of a time writing it! I doubt I'll find anyone willing to publish it, so you don't need to worry about it being inflicted on you any time soon ever.

I thought I didn't like books written in accent/patois, but then I read The Country of Ice Cream Star by Sandra Newman, which is incredible and totally changed my mind about that assumption!

yy to poor research. I find it really distracting and it affects my focus on the story. My work is often the subject matter of novels, and I get really irritated when there are lots of errors that an hour's chat with a professional would have easily picked up.

@beastlyslumber

I love Jane Austen, sorry! Social satire, the skewering of personalities, the subversion of romance... It's brilliant. I mean, yes, there is "romance" and people latch onto that, but for me it's the way the game is all set out, the characters all put in their places. It's wicked and brilliant.

Has anyone read The Tenant of Wildfell Hall? I'm reading that at the minute. Over the past couple of years I've stopped reading contemporary fiction because of all the issues mentioned above, but luckily there are still hundreds of novels from the last couple of centuries to enjoy.

...but hasn't 'The Tenant' got a bit of domestic violence in it? -- and a single parent bringing up her child and struggling for money---very modern issues. This isn't an attack! I expect it's written in complete sentences. Not like the modern stuff. Which isn't. Like Maeve Binchy. And Susan Hill.

Do teachers have to teach children what constitutes a sentence nowadays?