Could the man they wanted to tempt Malcolm with be the horrible man with the snake daemon from HDM? The one who can move between Lyra's and Will's world and steals the aleitheometer?
I also preferred the pre flood parts. I echo what people said about the weirdly episodic nature of the second half. It was a bit tedious how they kept being betrayed or let down.
The hyena man felt a bit supernatural towards the end. How did he follow them after getting his daemon disabled, losing his boat and being stabbed? He was described as a shadow in the corner of their eye. Like he had supernatural powers.
I also felt the ending was a little rushed. I would have liked that to be lingered over a little more. A bit more reflection and tying up of ends.
Overall I enjoyed it. Read all at once over an afternoon/evening.