No, I don't like them much either, although I have been watching the TV series. A friend passed on the series of books to us (she couldn't get into them either), and I have read one or two in a half-hearted, skipping pages kind of way, but soon I think they will be passed on again (maybe to Oxfam!)
The TV show is fairly enjoyable (although far too much gore, like you say,) and also unnecessary frequent female nudity and gratuitous rape scenes, which apparently weren't all in the books. It is a bit disturbing really, but looks fantastic, and has some great actors, my favourite characters are Tyrion and Danaerys (sp?).
But I find in the books as well there is excessive cruelty, not just rape of female characters, but so many horrible things happening to innocent/good people (eg the baker's son, was it, in book one?). I find it quite depressing. I know George RR Martin would say that worse things go on in the real world (and yes, sadly they probably do, outside the Western bubble but that doesn't mean that I want to read about it all the time!), and that he is reflecting how society was in the Middle Ages. However the savagery in the books is relentless and you get the distinct impression that he is revelling in it. I find him a bit creepy, TBH.
Also, if you are going to invent a fantasy world, please make it slightly original, a bit different from Earth. A pastiche medieval society (with added dragons) has been done so many times before, and gets a bit tedious, really.
I find it irritating that he includes things that actually exist in the real world, or historically, and makes up his own terms for them which are not that different to the real words. For instance he has 'sellswords' (mercenaries) FFS why bother? - just call them mercenaries, already. And why are all the knights called 'Ser' something, eg Ser Loras? It means the same, is pronounced the same, so what is wrong with using 'Sir'? Just daft.
Similarly, many of his character names are just slightly skewed versions of real names, eg 'Eddard' (Edward, I suppose) 'Margaery' (Margery/Marjorie), 'Tommen' (Thomas?) etc. etc. Completely pointless, either have the creativity to invent truly original names, or stick to the normal spellings, FGS.
Not a fan really. Can you tell? 
I am impressed that you pushed on through the whole grim saga, though!