Favourite 50 Shades of Grey metaphor / cliche / example of very, very bad writing

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Anyone else got any? I have loads but my so far all-time favourite is: 'My medulla oblongata just pole vaulted my spleen'.

Brilliant! Couldn't be more awful!

But I am currently reading the second book, despite thinking these books are pretty crap!

Urge the my sex thing annoys me too, such a stupid term!

Kinky fuckery...I love it, makes me laugh every time I see it

I can't believe anyone actually gets past the first few pages. I read the first page on Amazon's Look Inside thingy and wanted to gouge my eyes out after the first couple of paragraphs.

She writes like a teenager. I know this, because it is how I used to write when I was fifteen. I used to do the writing of stories based in America too (too much Sweet Valley High and Point Fiction as a younger teenager).

I know it started as Twilight FanFic, but honestly, if the only thing you know of American culture is what you have read / seen on TV, you cannot write about it. Transfer the characters to Britain and you might stand a chance.

Loving the 50 Things That Annoy Me.. blog though and the others.

Not sure if it has been linked but have a look at the bizzybiz (?) blog.

She is reviewing it chapter by chapter. So funny.

Interstingly Cheesy she never says moist. Ana is 'ready'.

Not wet or moist of whatever. Just 'ready'

Yes the bizzy biz blog is utterly hilarious

Seriously - a gazillion times better than the books IMO

Inner goddess,elongated nipples, my sex, apex, biting lip, rolling eyes, etc and Repeat...

I've just tried biting my lip Amd rolling my eyes, must look hilarious!

I can't find th blog, can someone link it please?

Holy crap.

If it wasn't for the fact i read it on my kindle i would have hurled it under a bus!

If you are writing about sex be adult enough to say cock, cunt, fanny, prick or anything other than 'down there' or 'erection'

And doesn't she own ANY dresses FFS they all seem to belong to her room mate

Don't think i have ever shouted at a book before. worst thing i have ever read

sits down & takes deep breath

http://bizzybiz.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/you-know-whats-good-about-this-book.html?m=0

Hahahaha the blog is too funny!