O K here it is... Im a marathon runner and a body builder. Im tall and thanks to the diet pills, excessive exercize and a pretty clean diet. Im pretty lean. Infact, I've got what most consider a celeb body, toned abz, lots of definition etc... HOWEVER, ive only got this through diet pills - aka fat burners - aka caffine and eph... aka... keep u up all night pills.
I was introduced to these pills by a fellow runner from my club who uses them for energy. Her partner had previously put me on an excellent healthy low carb diet which saw the weight drop off me. But to keep it off me they suggested I took these amazing pills. Amazing they are... at first... as soon as I took these, I was able to do more in the gym, out running and I was able to get through one or two bad eating phases without seeing bad results. However, what they failed to tell me was that I would become dependant on them for energy to do even the most mundane things and that if i tried to now exercize or run without one, id feel like i was unfit and that theyd keep me up all night. - And withhold me from the most important part of any training - sleep and rest.
Ive become so dependant on them for sports that I put up with all of the side effects and try to combat them with that age old cure for insomnia - alcohol. So I train hard 3 times a week and drink 3 times a week. Surely this is insanity? I cant keep up with this! I am keeping it a secret from fellow clubbers, family members and friends. As I am ashamed to be dependant on diet pills and furthermore, combating it with alchol. This is a slippery road and I need help.
I cant stop the pills right away, as Ive tried and the downs are just too dramatic. I live a hectic career woman life ontop of this with many sports commitments. And similarly, I cant go to bed on these pills without a drink, as i toss n turn all night long and get no rest and are good for nothing in the morning. Its a vicious cirlce.
Please dont be too hard on me, as Im quite fragile right now. but any good advice, constructive critism or anyone with similar experiences to share are more than welcome.
Thanks.
PS - Other than this, I live a fully functioning life, I run a home, have a healthy daughter and a good social life. Its the strains of the sleepless or alcohol nights and the days of fueling my body with caffine which are taking their toll.
PPS - I posted this on a diet pill problem forum and just copied and pasted it into mumsnet as its never failed to help me yet. I havent been here for a long time... as Ive been busy... addicted to diet pills and moving like Ive got a rocket up my bum.... forgive me... i realise, this isnt a life and need help... i want to talk to my partner but he will think badly of me, he already dislikes my drinking and thinks my dieting and exercizing are in excess...