The 'How to Stay Slim, Maybe Lose a Few Pounds, Whilst doing no more than emptying dishwasher,laundry and running round after children diet'

[objectivity]

This is your menu for week one:

Monday
Breakfast - coffee or chai latte
Lunch - nothing
Dinner - 2 pitta bread with any dip
Snacks - cake of some description

Tuesday
Breakfast - coco rocks x 5,including the squidgy rock ones
Lunch - pitta bread with cheese or tuna
Dinner - a fishfinger plus 1 chip, 2 if you misjudged it with the dc's portions
Snacks - jammiedodger

Wednesday
Breakfast - 1 slice toast
Lunch - running around Sainsbury's feeling hungry - buy too much
Dinner Carrot sticks and dips

Thursday
Breakfast - coffee or chai
Lunch - roast beef and horseradish sandwich
Dinner - chocolate Brownies, zucchini cake

Friday
Repeat any of days

Saturday
Breakfast - you got a lie in, skip it
Lunch - brunch with DC,prolly sandwiches or a bacon buttie
Dinner - pasta spirals from leftovers in pan

Sunday
Breakfast - croissant or mega munchers x5
Lunch - Roast of some description
Dinner - pudding such as apple pie or pavlova

Trust me, this works fab.

is that what you have eaten, that is not good. How can you eat so little, don't you feel sick and dizzy.

You don't eat fruit or veg then?

terrible diet!

no fruit, hardly any veg.

It will not work on a long term level.

I eat less than this generally and will keep on losing but if I eat approximately the above my weight stays stable.

I can't eat fruit and veg more than once a week as it makes my colon bleed.

Your weight may stay stable but everything else will go to pot if you continue eating like this.

do you have the help of a dietician if your colon bleeds, sounds veyr dangerous to me.

No, but I have had a sigmoidoscopy that was painful yet inconclusive. I give up now with NHS and just manage the problem day by day by mostly eatign proteins.

twas a bit tongue in cheek though, or is that not apparent. Arse. Sorry.

Ha ha I got the joke striaght away.

Reminds me of one of my favourite diets - only eat the kids leftovers. Nothing else. Then you lose weight. Oh how I love fishfingers and ketchup.

My problem is I eat the kids leftovers AND my own food as well.