Major weight loss, health, body image and clothes

[PuzzledObserver]

I’d like to have a discussion with people who have lost enough weight to have significantly improved their health and quality of life, gone down several sizes in clothes and who are being told things like “you look completely different” - especially if you have been overweight/obese from a young age, and don’t have a slim self to look back on. I am in this situation - maximum clothes size was 30, 3 years ago I was in 22/24’s, and now wearing a 16 - and have been doing so for approaching 2 years. Doesn’t matter for the purposes of this conversation how you lost the weight, though it may matter how much you believe you can keep it off.

Two areas of focus:

1. What are your goals? For the longest time I have focussed on weight as the goal. Intellectually, I recognise this is not what really matters. I am trying to focus instead on health metrics, such as fasting blood glucose (I have type 2 diabetes) and visceral fat level. The idea is that, once I reach the ideal level for these, I will basically consider myself in maintenance, continue to monitor those metrics, and adjust as necessary to keep them in range. The question is: how to make that mental adjustment, when everything in me cares so much about the number on the scale.

2. How have you negotiated the new wardrobe? More specifically - have you reached the point where you choose clothes according to fit, rather than the number on the label - and if so, how did you get there?

I had a frustrating shopping trip today. I have a pair of favourite jeans from White Stuff in a 16, and they are really really loose. What’s more, I am actively losing weight again, having started mounjaro a couple of months ago to get me the rest of the way. So I went and tried on some 14’s….. I thought they looked good, but my friends and husband assured me they were pulling on the pockets and I needed the 16. Then I tried on some different ones in Seasalt Cornwall. One pair, the 14’s were tight on my tummy, but the 16’s were loose on my waist. Conclusion: that style is just not right for my shape….. but that feels like my fault really since the not-rightness is to do with the belly apron, a consequence of my long term weight history. In the end I tried on a third pair, knew before I’d even done them up that the 14’s were too tight, so tried the 16’s and they fit nicely and look good….. so I bought them (along with a 14 top, which clearly fits, and the 16 would have been too big).

But I can’t help being a little disappointed that I’ve come away with another pair of 16’s. Despite intellectually knowing that sizes vary so much it is really meaningless. Anyone cracked this one, and how?

Ok I’ve lost 4 stone and have gone from a 18 at my largest to a 10…”ish” I say ish because as we know sizes vary so much between different retailers so is a fairly meaningless measure. I’ve been at target weight for about 18 months now. I am very interested in clothes for reference and Im a pretty avid thrifter. What I’ve noticed is I don’t really care too much about the number on the inside of the clothes. In the early days of my weightloss I bought clothes that showed off my waist because “look everyone I have a small waist” Now I very much don’t care what size something is and whether it is as flattering as it could be. ( although my first size 12 was absolutely thrilling ) While you’re in transition I’d hold off buying too many new things - go second hand if you can because it will likely be coming and going quite quickly.

I go by measurements more than the clothes size on the label. I was looking at Muji clothes online today and according to their Japanese based sizing I am an XL, but in most UK shops I am now a size 12 or 14 which is an M. I’ve even bought things labelled S because they fitted me, from some brands and in some styles.

There are plenty of styles that I don’t wear because they don’t flatter my shape or they fit oddly because of waist/hip ratio. I know which styles in which brands tend to work, some trial and error involved. I also had to get used to trying things on more in the high street shops to get used to how things fit me now.

I agree with not buying too much in intermediate sizes, if you are still expecting to lose more than a stone. I went for more flexible clothes when I was in the 18 to 16 range, like “one size” dresses from places like Kit and Kaboodal, with tights/leggings. Once I got to a size 14 was when I started to buy things I intend to wear for a while.

Fundamentally now I am in the healthy weight range I realise that I don’t care what size the label says if it fits me and I like it. So different to before where I was really focussed on the size number. I remember being so thrilled when I got into 18s regularly rather than a size starting with a 2.

No idea if any of that is of interest!

M&S is a great example.

I was so excited because I got into a pair of size 10 cords so I risked some jeans…. Totally different sizing. I think I need at least a 12 in that particular style.

I am trying not to focus on numbers but as you say, what’s healthy and maintaining it.

It’s great to hear several people who have made that transition to not caring about the number.

Did that just happen spontaneously for you as time went on, or did you make a conscious effort to get to that point?

the former, how long did it take? If the latter, what did you do?

When i lived in Singapore I was a UK size 8/10, prob more skewed to a size 8 and I had to buy larges. Don't feel too bad, Their clothes are made for dolls it seems. Most of my friends who were larger than me wouldn't even go into a shop and twice I had a cab driver ask me if I was pregnant, and I had as close to a 6 pack that I have ever had in my life at the time.