5’3 and extremely overweight - help!!

[helpmewithmydietbeforeiloseit]

Hi everyone, I’m posting here to seek some advice. I’m going to be brutally honest here and hope that someone can help.

I’m 5’3 and at today’s weigh in I am 15 stone. I know that this is very very bad believe me.

Some prior context is that I have been a lifelong “fussy eater” to be honest I think that I probably have what is now known as ARFID, though that wasn’t a thing when I was younger. An example would be that I cannot stand pasta, to try and eat one piece makes me gag and heave to the point of almost making myself sick. Obviously I could go into this more with more examples but you get the gist.

In addition, as a teenager, I developed a severe eating disorder. At my worst I was less than 6 stone and very very poorly. It was a horrific time where the only control I could feel was over my food intake. I have worked hard to keep away from that and have come extremely far the other way (probably too far now).

With that out of the way, my weight has piled on over the last few years. I have a stressful (but poorly paid) job that means working long hours sat at a desk. I enjoy work and it will progress to a good salary, but it requires the years of graft first.

I think I have just come to rely on convenience foods that are easy to grab and eat at work. I genuinely don’t eat that much chocolate/sweets, it’s more carb-y snacks that get me. I probably also have poor portion control and I know I can snack when I get bored.

I am just at such a loss of what to do to be honest. Every diet and meal plan contains food that I just would not eat. In addition I am aware that I don’t want to slip back into eating disorder habits that can easily become dangerous.

I exercise once or twice per week but genuinely don’t have time to do more than that.

I know the easy answer is “eat less” but I’m finding that so hard and feeling like whatever I do it’s going nowhere.

Does anyone have any advice and tips for how to navigate losing weight in these circumstances? A way to build a healthy diet that will actually work long term for me?

Just to add, I did mention it to a GP and all the said was that I needed to lose weight and that it wasn’t that difficult if I put my mind to it, which was obviously not that helpful. They also effectively threatened to remove me from my birth control if I didn’t get my weight under control which has just made me really anxious!

Any and all help and advice appreciated!

Similar height and size here. Mine was 2 extra stone at menopause.

I have just rejoined Zoe, hoping that if I eat for my personal blood and fat metabolism, it will help my appetite. However my best foods are highly calorific (avocado, nuts) which isn't that helpful!

What has worked for me at least in stopping adding extra weight, has been intermittent fasting. I don't eat after tea or before lunch/brunch (maybe around 11 ish). This is a rule I have managed well and it has really cut back all those late night "I just fancy a...". snacking I was doing.

I wish I had the answer (outside of meds).

I have been using mounjaro for the last year and it has been a game changer . I can't recommend it highly enough. It us expensive though.

What does a days food look like for you? Are you just cooking for yourself?

It is really hard and everyday is a battle for me to lose weight and not binge.

I find it helpful to log everything I eat into an app.

I don't think that weight-loss injections are recommended for people who have a history of eating disorders.

Would it help to see a private dietician (not a nutritionist) who you could ask to go through the foods you will eat and help you to work out a reduced calorie plan based off that? So not trying to make you eat things that you just won’t, but working with what you will eat. You could also discus the previous ED and wanting to avoid heading back into that mindset.

Definitely not recommended for history of eating disorders and also very outside of my budget!

This is helpful thank you, I have considered intermittent fasting before as it feels like a way to cut down without being super restrictive in all ways

enter the foods you will eat into chat GPT, you weight and height etc and it will give you a meal plan xx

mostly skip breakfast, if I do have one then it’s mini fruit weetabix and extra raisins

Lunch - probably a ham sandwich, yoghurt, packet of crisps and some kind of snack
Or a Greggs potato wedges and southern fried chicken meal deal thing
If I’m trying to be healthier I bring in protein pancakes with Greek yoghurt and fruit

Dinner - cooking split between me and DH but he is a very limited cook! If I was to use last weeks dinners it was: Fajitas, oven cooked fish and chips and peas, pizza, sausages with roast potatoes and veg, beef burgers with salad and french fries

Anything that’s easy and quick really! I think possibly there can be some easy wins with small changes (e.g chicken sausages, low fat burgers). I know homemade wedges are much better but take time to do!

I have sometimes bought wholemeal wraps etc but when I actually reviewed the calories it seemed minimal change to be honest.

i think by the time I get home im knackered so I just want to bang stuff in the oven that can cook whilst I have a shower and get in my pjs!

More protein & fruit and veg.

Fat-free Greek yoghurt & fruit for breakast or just plain shredded wheat & milk.

For lunches I like either Bagel Thins or Wholemeal pittas - toasted & cooled - filled with hummus/ grated carrots plus falafel or beanburger or low-fat philaelphia and egg (1 egg omelette takes 2 mins and cools quickly). Plus an apple.

Dinners keep the same but try to make better choices / smaller portions.

When I dud intermittent fasting on 2 / 3 days I would have one shredded wheat for lunch, and banana & a yoghurt for lunch and 300 cals or so for dinner. Or I did it Min to Fri and had a normal but healthy portion of dinner.

I’ve been using the nutracheck app and walking at least 3 miles a day in total and swimming 5 times a week. I’ve lost 4 stone since April and am close to your current weight now so still have another 4 stone to go!

I found it really helpful to promise myself I would always eat when I was hungry. And pay attention to when I felt full and stop eating then. After an eating disorder your body might not trust that a meal is coming when you need it and that can set off over eating to "stock up" for the famine ahead. To overcome this, it helps to actually eat when you're hungry and not try to override that feeling. Then try to focus on healthy foods that fill you up, stopping when full. Intermittent fasting set me on the wrong path for ages. I've lost 2 stone doing this. Try not to punish yourself. You're allowed to eat.

I’m not sure there is one easy answer. I think you might need to look at food first, lists of what food is safe. How can you plan for what you can eat and which of those will give you most nutrients. It sounds like food and disordered eating has been a constant. From ARFID to restriction to binge eating, maybe look at the beat website for support and maybe therapy for what’s driving it all.
exercise is good and you are doing some. You need the full package; nutrition, physical activity and psychological support. You can find a way to have a healthy relationship with food.

Cut down ( massively) on carbs. If you must have some, whole meal bread or rice, sweet potato instead of ordinary potatoes, and keep the carb portion small.
Cut out unnecessary sugar/ eg the dried fruit with your weetabix. Raisins are high in sugar compared to fresh fruit- you could substitute blueberries.
Fill up on big portions of veg, salad as an extra with everything, and protein- eggs, yogurt, cheese as well as meat. Lentils and chickpeas are good for bulking out meals. Chips and pizza should be very occasional treats.
Cut out the snacks you’ve been having, you don’t need crisps or cereal bars. Add salad to your ham sandwich, have carrot sticks at the ready if you need extra crunch. Focus on good nutrition rather than going hungry.

i completely understand this advice and that this is what would work for someone with a typical diet. That said, I can’t eat rice or sweet potato, cheese, lentils or chickpeas!

I think this is why I find it so hard, all the traditional easy diets contain so many foods that I physically cannot bring myself to eat.

I know that sounds so daft to some but even the idea of eating, say, a chickpea curry, actually makes me gip.

I think this is why I struggle so much, because my options feel quite limited so I feel stuck between “eat crap” and “go hungry”.

I’m so much better than I used to be - I eat most fruit now! But still really limited on other things, like potato or bread are the only carbs I’d have which means I end up having them most days!

Does this sound more reasonable or doable to people?

Intermittent fasting until 12, so no breakfast. During this time have at least 1l water

Lunch - protein pancakes or granola, fat free Greek yoghurt, 2/3 pieces of fruit

Only once or twice per week - ham sandwich with crisps, fruit and some carrot/cucumber sticks and a yoghurt (less healthy option but stops me being bored and diving into Greggs!)

Dinners (trying to adapt last weeks menu!) - Fajitas with wholemeal wraps, oven cooked fish with less chips and peas and carrots, tortilla wrap pizza, chicken sausages with less roast potatoes and veg, low fat beef burgers with more salad/less French fries

No food after dinner/7pm ish, so no snacking in the evening!

Stick to my 1/2 days per week exercise and also try to go for a 30 min walk on my lunch break and actually leave my desk!

I really want to make a change that I can keep up with to make an actual impact, not something i’ll give up on in two weeks because it’s making me miserable! I’m hoping the above would be possible to stick to and will help me lose weight gradually rather than doing anything drastic that pushes me into bad habits

I really recommend intermittent fasting.

I used to have an eating disorder too.

Intermittent fasting (16:8) taught me to actually understand my hunger cues for the first time in my adult life and that is OK to be a bit hungry because the next meal is never that far away.

Obviously you do have to be a bit careful with a history of an eating disorder.
But I think you have to be careful with any kind of diet or restriction.

It really worked for me and I have a very good relationship with food now.

I'd also recommend looking at portion sizes. It's very easy for these to get bigger than they need to be!

Don't forget you need to account for portion sizes. Your food plan sounds alright but it really does boil down to how much you have. A set of small kitchen scales helps me with things like cereal, so easy to eat way more than the recommendation!

But you can eat a lot, those things like chickpeas and cheese or sweet potato don’t feature in my diet,

so can you eat veg, salads, lean meats ie chicken, pork, steak, can you eat fish or seafood,

you eat a very fatty carby heavy diet, and that can easily be amended within your restrictions,

can you not calorie count? That way you can eat exactly what you like?

Without knowing what you will/wont eat it is impossible to make sensible suggestions, but the main thing that jumps out at me is how processed everything on this list is. Where is the unprocessed veg? I’m not a upf evangelist but as someone who is a similar height and was only slightly less weight than you it is much harder to overly if you are eating unprocessed foods. It is harder, no doubt about that, but you do need to make some changes if you want to reduce your weight. WLlIs would help but understand if you cannot afford/don’t want them, in which case it is systems and self control.

Would you eat soup? I make a lot of homemade soups. I am the same height as you and lost 2 stone with the help of the LOSE IT threads on here. Head on over, they are very supportive.
What foods will you eat?

I ate mainly homemade foods, didn’t eat after 7pm, exercised by bouncing on a gym ball whilst watching tv to up my activity level if I hadn’t walked as much that day. Can you add more walking into your day? I hate batch cooking because I don’t like food once it’s been frozen with the exception of soups, pasta/pizza sauce, and dough. My diet is carb heavy and remained so when I was losing weight but most people will say to cut out the carbs. You don’t need to. Add things instead so more protein and veg. Would you eat porridge for breakfast with some added chia seeds? Full fat proper Greek yogurt is best on the yogurt front. The fat helps slow down the absorption of sugars. I used to eat it with 200g of strawberries and raspberries and honey. I don’t like chick peas as they are but will eat red pepper hummus with good quality breadsticks, carrot and red pepper.
Your diet is mainly ultra processed foods so my advice would be to gradually change things to healthier options. With the wholemeal wraps-it’s not the calories it’s the extra fibre and less refined carbs that make them a better choice. I recommend the Crosta mollica wholeblend ones. A lot of wraps are full of all sorts but these are just flour, water, salt olive oil I think. I use them to make pizza if I’ve not had time to make pizza dough.
Small, sustainable changes will help you. Dont try to make big changes all at once because that’s a sure way to not succeed.

No this doesn’t sound sustainable. Intermittent fasting is fine but then you break the fast with something very sugary and low in protein and fat - you’ll then be starving.

Do you want to list your safe foods and we could come up with something or get chat gpt to recommend?

I notice you didn’t respond on the points around mounjaro. These jabs are a game changer. I suffered my whole life with eating disorders and the fact they remove the food noise has freed me. But each to their own.

Also cut the fruit. One piece every few days. It’s just pure sugar and acid - spikes your blood sugar and makes you feel more hungry. It’s a massive misconception that because fruit has no fat we can or should eat unlimited amounts of it. Your vitamin intake should come from vegetables which have waaay more nutrients and no sugar.

She eats a lot though, if you look at her diet she’s eating fish, chicken, ham, beef, veg, potatoes, yoghurt, fruit, so I can’t fathom why she’s saying she has arfid.