Friend who looks me up and down

[DesperatelySeekingHelp]

I am overweight. Need to lose about 5 stone. Have lost two and a half already. I met up with a friend last night who I see about every three months. I did my hair put make up on and thought I looked okay and passable given I’m overweight.
Whenever I see this friend I can see her out of the corner of my eye looking me up and down as she’s greeting me. I’m sure she doesn’t even know she is doing it but it puts me right back to feeling shit and uncomfortable for the rest of the evening.

Have you spoken to her about it. That must feel so horrible. I use to be a very small human and now a larger woman at 88kg where as until my last child i was 55 to 60 kg. I always feel as though people look at me up and down in disgust. I would honestly just express how you feel and tell her how it makes you uncomfortable and if she has a problem you would like to hear it from her straight

You don’t know that she’s looking in a negative way though? I’m sure I look at my friends or what they’re wearing when I greet them but it’s never from a mean place.

does she also make hurtful comments etc?

As above.

my sister does this but she is lovely.

so I suspect everyone looks but some people are more obvious than others

Is it possible the friend is trying to take in the outstanding results of 2.5st or did she always do it?

I know if it was me i would be sat like a gawping cat if i met up with a friend who had made such a huge change to themselves. I would also be sat telling you how amazing you looked.

Imagine when you have nailed the other 2.5st. She is going to explode.

I do this when I’m anxious. I hate it and try not to but I find eye contact difficult. It doesn’t mean she’s looking at your weight .

She might do thins with everyone not just you. People have all sorts of behaviours that are not meant to be nasty. It’s just what they do. Like this people who close their eyes when they talk to you or can’t look people in the eye when talking.

She has always done it. I don’t really feel like I can speak to her about it. I definitely have massive insecurities and confident issues so that probably plays a part as well

My hairdresser who I've known for years and is pretty much a friend now does this. She does it to everyone and I think it's because she's interested in people, style and fashion, not in a judgemental way.

Does she do it to just you or to everyone? It really might just be the way she looks/her face and she means nothing bad by it all.