Has anyone done the cabbage soup diet for a fortnight?

[EveryOtherNameTaken]

Just that really.

Has anybody done it for a fix?

Just want a final way of losing water retention before my wedding. My dress fits fine but it is unforgiving and shows up the tiniest bumps and lumps.

Will only do it for a week or 2 maximum to just suck the bloat out.

Sure if you want to propel yourself down the aisle with noxious farts that sounds a great idea.

Don't be disingenuous. The 'lumps and bumps' are body fat, not 'bloat'. You want to do a crash diet to lose a bit of fat. Do it if you want to be malnourished and miserable. If you plan to eat your wedding reception meal then you'll really know what bloat means as your stomach will not know what to do with itself after 2 weeks of cabbage water. You'll be trumping like a trouper.

Yes. I forgot about the farting. Don't care about bloating after the meal tbh as I will be changing.

Maybe just do very low carbs instead.