DIET FAILED AGAIN - maybe this time we're 7th time lucky, all are welcome

[thenewaveragebear1983]

Roll up roll up, it's time for thread 7... everyone is welcome here on our lively supportive chat thread.

Good afternoon (just)

i’ve been having a long think about my eating, my out of control eating. It seems the worst days are when I’m on my own and not doing so much, which is today! For the past two days I’ve been really busy and my eating has been quite easily controlled but today I am home alone and doing very little. I’ve already had my usual porridge with frozen berries, then an extra slice of toast, then a latte instead of my usual black coffee and I’m just defrosting a bap For lunch, because I can’t face soup again. I know if DP were here, I would face the soup and it’s not that he tries to make me have it because I make different meals for him and I just have my soup.

I look forward, being a loner, to my Wednesdays and Sundays when I’m on my own but I’m coming to the conclusion that I do get bored doing very little and they’re never quite as wonderful as I expect them to be. I think perhaps I should go into town on my own and have a look around, but I can never be bothered to get ready, I’m so lethargic on these days.

I said earlier if I maintain until after Christmas/New Year, I’ll be happy but today I’m in a danger zone.

Do you think it’s maybe just boredom eating @poorpaws? It’s my enemy when it comes to dieting. My other is “I’m finished” eating, eg. Finished a task, eat. Finished a call, eat. Etc etc. I eat so much less when I am engaged and busy and enthused rather than when I’m bored. I also struggle to ‘switch off’ and I hate forced relaxation, but I am getting better at it this year because I recognise signs of needing it. I have a bank of very low-brow tv shows (my guilty pleasure) that I stick on for 30 minutes, make a tea, and force myself to do nothing but it’s hard when I have washing, cleaning, pets, kids, etc etc to sort. I used to go for a run or do a workout but I’m too tired!

yesterday I ended up buying some chocolate covered nuts, they were delicious but I did eat them all, so well over 500 additional calories were consumed! But otherwise I am ok and ticking along.

@thenewaveragebear1983 yes I agree part of it is boredom. My DP is a workaholic, he can’t sit still and always finds a job no matter how small. As it’s my home he works on, I either help or find myself a different job, it’s exhausting. He can’t bear laziness and I used to be the same but I’ve slowed down. If I’ve got a list of jobs to do and sit down I have terrible guilt but if I plan a day of doing very little, then that’s fine by me but DP would make a sarky comment like “you’re sitting down, I wish I had your life”. He thinks it’s funny but I feel guilty, so when he’s not here I can do whatever I like, including nothing. I do like the idea of low-brow (I call it mindless) tv.

Now you’ve got me craving chocolate covered nuts, they are one of my favourites, no wonder they were delicious.

yesterday did end up as an eating frenzy again but could have been worse. I’ve decided that on my days off from DP I will do housework in the morning and then watch tv/ipad in the afternoon and see if that stops the gluttony. If DP had his way he would be here every day and honestly it took years for me to eventually get time off from him. He always says things like “if you want me tomorrow I’ll pop down”, “if you’d like to do something tomorrow I’ll join you”, it’s exhausting for someone who loves to be alone.

anyway Thursday food shopping and I’m doing a very small shop as I want to reduce my freezer ready for Christmas.

@TalkToTheHand123 I hope you’re ok and doing well.

have a good Thursday, it’s looking ok outside atm.

Awww. I can definately vouch for bored eating. My home job list have a few years timescales.

Going ok. Struggling to refuse offers of mcdonalds meals though.

Argh @poorpawsit sounds frustrating for you. I know I get those eating frenzy moments when I either eat too carby/sugary a breakfast (oats for example, although I don’t eat those at the moment because of the gluten) or when I don’t drink enough during the day. Or when I’m hormonal.

today I had a crap day, I’m trying to get a really big piece of work done and it’s just so frustrating. I lost my shit a few times to be honest. I’m tired and cranky, my anxiety is getting raised again because I’m stressed at work so it all feeds into itself. I went for a late lunch run to clear my head, then came home and ate 3 large chocolate salted caramel rice cakes (they are a whopping 100 cals each, not actually bad for one because they are yummy but three is a lot). Opened the chicken for dinner and it was off so i just had cheese on toast in my new air fryer. Yummy but not exactly low carb or fast800 friendly. Still, I have ended up on 1300 cals today, that’s not bad for me. I weighed myself after my run and I’m now 11.0.5 so very very close to being under 11 stone again.

@TalkToTheHand123 McDonald’s on offer constantly would definitely tempt me.

tomorrow I am starting my antidepressants. They’ve sat on the side for nearly 2 weeks but I know I really need to start them, and if I do I might feel better by Christmas. I did feel a lot better when I cut out gluten but I am starting to get some anxiety creeping back in. The side effects really worry me but I can’t go on like this indefinitely so I think the time is now. I’ll be honest, I feel really sad and alone about it, I have no friends in real life to talk to and my dh is lovely but I just don’t think he understands how I feel. Hopefully in a couple of weeks I will be starting to feel a bit better about it all.

Morning

yesterday didn’t go to plan at all. The small food shop I was going to do turned into a big one, and I’m not really sure why or how. The dog walk was longer than planned because we met quite a lot of people we know and I know I sound a miserable so-and-so but I hate standing around talking for a long time. When I got home, I made DP lunch and I didn’t really want any so I made my soup for the week, did a few little jobs and the day flew by. My evening meal was large but healthy but then I started to try out the new health bars I bought (around 80 to 100 cal) and before I knew it, I’d eaten four!

I slept really badly and was looking at my iPad at 4 am so today I’m tired and cranky. I’m starting a kitchen counter declutter today. I have far too many things out because my drawers and cupboards are full and I’m sick of looking at the clutter so today I’ve got to find a home for things.

I forgot to mention in my previous post that if I’m busy in the kitchen and DP hasn’t got a job, he’ll go to sleep in the chair which irritates the life out of me for some reason. As I said, one minute he is a workaholic and if he can’t find a job, he goes to sleep! If the weather is decent he’ll be gardening but if it’s not and I’m decluttering he’ll either be under my feet or asleep, grrr!

I’ll try hard today to eat a balanced meal for lunch and for dinner.

@thenewaveragebear1983 I hope your anxiety settles down and you have a good result from the antidepressants.

I didn’t take them @poorpaws. I know I need to start them but last night dh and I had a big argument about them and I was really upset, then this morning after a rubbish night sleep I just felt like I could not stop crying. I was doing a really hard stressful piece of work that’s taken me 2 days to complete and I just couldn’t risk feeling sick or worse on top of that. All excuses I know, I know I need to start them, but I think because I know I’ve got 2 weeks before I actually feel any benefit from them it if I just keep putting it off. It’s like I’m risking side effects for no benefit.

I’ve done ok food wise today, I had 1400 cals but that’s a lot lot less than I would have previously had on a Friday night. I’ve not done 800 at all since starting fast800 but I think aiming for 800 is helping me end up on a reasonable deficit anyway.

@thenewaveragebear1983you are so stressed and an argument won’t help. You need to be kind to yourself and if you aren’t ready to take your medication, then you aren’t ready and only you will know when it’s time, your body will tell you. I think you should stop thinking about it until you are more ready to give it your all. If you think it will fail then it probably will. If you wait a while until you feel stronger and more positive then the medication will most probably work for you. In the meantime a bit of self love is what you need.

i’ve had yet another day of overeating and snacking, i have no excuse.

I met an old acquaintance of mine today and I hardly recognised her. I don’t want to be unkind and she would say this herself but she used to be enormous, tall and very very big. Today she looked amazing and I’ve never realised just how pretty she is. She told me that it all started with dental problems that she couldn’t eat and she lost quite a lot of weight, but then she’s gone onto ozempic (or the other one) And she says she feels amazing. She first went on to it because her husband is very big and she wanted to support him. It actually doesn’t suit him, making him very sick so he’s not doing too well but she is doing amazingly well and having no side-effects at all. She spends £600 a month for both of them which to me is a massive amount but probably not to her. She’s advised me to go on it but I’m not sure, I researched it ages ago and I didn’t like the cancer scare it brought. It did though make me feel that she’s getting smaller and I’m getting bigger, which wasn’t a nice thought.

another day of housework for me tomorrow, I’m still decluttering in the kitchen and it’s not easy trying to find a home for everything. No doubt in another months time it will be just as cluttered as it was.

Thank you @poorpaws. I had just about got myself ready to take them but I don’t think dh wants me to, I don’t think he understands about mental health and I don’t think he realises that a lot of the time when I’m ‘happy’ I am still struggling. He was saying I shouldn’t take them, but he really hit a nerve. Probably just me being sensitive, but it’s taken me a week to build up the courage to start and then I lost my nerve. I’m worried if I don’t take them then my GP won’t support me any more so I am very torn. 🤔

your housework sounds quite therapeutic to me, I like a good clear out. My house desperately needs a deep clean, too many weekend spent decorating and not keeping on top of it. My dd is coming round tomorrow to sort through her stuff in the loft which will be a job well done.

I wouldn’t let your friend sway your decision, £600 seems a huge amount per month but like you say maybe that’s not much for them. It is hard though when people seem to be getting great results, and I don’t care what anyone says, it must be easier on the jabs or they wouldn’t pay that much for them, yes they do have to count calories and eat healthily but it’s a hell of a lot easier to do that if you don’t crave junk food and feel really full.

@thenewaveragebear1983 I think about food/snacks from the minute I get up to the minute I go to bed. The lady I met today used to be just the same (we’ve discussed our weight many times over the years). Now she just isn’t interested in food at all and never thinks about it. She said it’s so, so easy. She’s just come back from holiday and her food mood didn’t change whilst away and for the first time in years she looked at her holiday photos and didn’t think “I’ve just got to lose weight this year”. She is like a different person inside and out. I just feel miserable tonight but I’m so pleased for her. She lost well over 4 st, nearly 5, and wants to lose 2 st more (which I think will make her look too slim tbh).

I just feel so low atm, my willpower is in the toilet.

@poorpawsmaybe you should look into the jabs then? I know a few people who use them and who have had good results. The switching off the ‘food noise’ (I hate that term) seems to be the big thing with them. I suppose that’s assuming you qualify for them, what is your bmi? Don’t you have to be bmi 30 to be prescribed them?

I feel crappy today, I had a very productive day yesterday with dd we sorted out loads of the loft, went to the tip and took some things to charity shops etc. My dh had an accident running (he ran into a lamppost at full pelt and cracked his head open!) and was feeling very sorry for himself after being patched up at a&e, and we ended up having a few board games and a couple of glasses of wine. Then a couple more. Then he poured me a big g&t and that tipped me over into hangover territory and I feel it this morning.

I did weigh myself yesterday and I was down a little bit, not sure what my official weigh in will say tomorrow but I feel like I’ve had an ok week.

I’ve had another terrible week and tonight I am so sick of myself. I’m going to try again tomorrow because I said before even a maintain would be good for me at the moment. I feel very low right now about how I feel and how I look and instead of doing something about it I’m burying my head in the sand and making things even worse.

I’m making mountains out of molehills just now. My vacuum cleaner has broken and you would think it was the biggest crisis in the world from my reaction. Tonight DD arrived with some of the contents of her freezer to put in my very full freezer because her fridge freezer has broken down. Isn’t it amazing how a fridge freezer always breaks down when you’ve just done a huge shop, never when it’s nearly empty and needs filling.

I’m at the dentist tomorrow and just hope there isn’t anything too wrong that is going to cost me a fortune. I could do without any more expense before Christmas. We’ve also got to have DD‘s dog again because she’s doing a long day at work and doesn’t want to leave him alone so we’ll be walking four dogs.

@thenewaveragebear1983 about Ozempic, I researched it a long time ago and some of the research revealed cancer scares attached to it so that’s why I’ve delayed using it or should I say trying to use it. Also, one of the side-effects is sickness and I am a very sickly person. For example during pregnancy I was sick every day multiple times right up until I delivered my daughter, which is the reason I only had one child. I can guarantee if sickness is one of the side-effects that only a few people get, I will be one of those few people. Another example is that if anything food wise is slightly off, it will make me sick when DP and DD will be fine.

I’m really not sure what to do next, I think I’ll most likely trundle along until the New Year and then hopefully really put some work and get this weight gone.

These Monday mornings do come around really quickly.

@poorpaws I didn’t know that about the WLI, but then I have never looked into them as I don’t meet the criteria for them so it’s not something I have ever considered (except in an occasional fleeting ‘I’m going to buy some dodgy ones off the hairdresser and get skinny ‘ way 🤣)

I cooked a lovely roast, we had pork but I had no crackling, one little roastie and no seconds. I did however have some chocolate buttons afterwards, they were really nice and worth waiting for. I think I’ll have a loss tomorrow as I have been generally quite good this week, in fact after my run today I was under 11 stone for the first time since my birthday in July! Although that’s not a true result as I had just been running, but potentially after one more good week I might get there!

@thenewaveragebear1983 I’ve just filled in some of the online forms to have WLIs and I’m not suitable for the treatment. I reviewed my answers several times just so that I can ascertain why and it’s because I had that suspected heart attack three years ago.

i am confused because Im sure when i researched it before it said there’s no detriment to the heart. Unless I lie, which i know a lot of people do, I can’t buy it. I’ll have to research some more because my memory is foggy about all the information I gleaned years ago.

@thenewaveragebear1983 yes I was right, it says WLI are beneficial to reducing the risk of heart attacks and strokes.

How strange though that it reduces the risk and yet if you have a risk you don’t qualify? It could be that certain providers will/wont for different reasons. Personally I wouldn’t lie to get it, but I know a lot of people do. It is a big decision and an expensive one, but the results could be life changing so i can see why people do it. If I qualified for them I would 100% take them.

No I won’t lie, I just adjusted my results to find out why I didn’t qualify and once I didn’t admit the heart attack, even though I listed my medication, I suddenly qualified.

i don’t think it’s for me. I’ve researched it a few times but something deep inside tells me no. No offence to anyone on it of course and the results are amazing.

many years ago I got quite addicted to exercise dvds, getting up at 5 am to do a couple of hours workout before work. I’ve just found one of them on on youtube and I’m wondering if I can get into it again 🤔

You were really in the zone a while ago, I think sometimes it’s just headspace isn’t it, we have to get into the zone somehow and stay there long enough for it to click. I really struggled this year. I seem to do better when I’m strict about certain things, and I do find if I can reduce my calories low enough to get a loss then I seem to click more easily. For me if I’m losing fractions of a pound each week it’s too slow for me and not worth it. You’ll have noticed though that I never bloody stick to anything for long, and I also no matter what my calories low enough limit, always go over. I think that’s why the combination of aiming for low calories and carbs means I’m getting a bit more of a deficit, and hopefully will lose 1-2lbs a week until December when i will probably have to rethink my strategy to allow for the festive season.

I understand everything you said, and I totally agree with it all. I was in the zone for 33 days (no sugar for all that time) and I don’t know what happened as I suddenly just lost the plot.

I feel very down at the moment and I wonder if that’s a large part of my problem eating. I will start again tomorrow and see what happens.

This morning‘s weigh-in was a complete surprise, If not a shock. I expected to gain at least 1 lb maybe two and I’ve actually lost .75 of a pound. Not a massive loss but considering what I’ve eaten all week it’s an unexpected miracle. I am hoping this will change my present mood and uplift my spirits to start actually trying to lose the weight again.

its cold and rainy here but I hope you have a good day.

@poorpaws well done 👏 I hope you feel a bit brighter today and have a good week.

I’m trying to work up the nerve to start my antidepressants, I was on my dog walk and really firmly committed to taking them, then came back and read the leaflet again and decided not to. Aaargh gripped by indecision! I am just so put off by thoughts of side effects it’s totally paralysing me. And I’m very susceptible to it so I think because I’ve read that they can do x,y,z then I will immediately think it’s happening to me.

@thenewaveragebear1983. I get that with the antidepressant's. That’s what put me off trying WLIs, side effects sickness, I’m susceptible, so no.

whatever decision you make,I hope it’s the right one.

Love to all.

I succumbed to a sausage sandwich this morning. I've been offered a mcdonalds chicken burger and chips for later. Currently trying to find willpower to resist.

@TalkToTheHand123well if it makes you feel any better, I decided today as it was my day off that I was going to watch crappy tv and eat chocolate, and that’s what I did! I bought salted caramel Lindt balls and I ate so many I felt sick! 🤢

I think I’ve done a bit better today. My dental appointment was for 1.30 and we decided to walk down and have lunch when we got back. I made DP a cheese and pickle sandwich at about 2.45 and then thought I would skip lunch and have an early dinner. The early dinner wasn’t quite so early as DD arrived and although she didn’t stay for long, it meant dinner was more or less at the than normal time. One meal skipped today then, yay.

I’ve also drunk a jug of water which is unheard of in my house, but I kept the jug in the fridge and kept going to it throughout the afternoon.

I have a paramedic appointment tomorrow at 9 am about my hand which if you remember I managed to crush between an exposed tree root and my body. I think he might just send me for an x-ray since I think I’ve done damage to two knuckles.

I need to stay on track tonight to at least try and do one good day.

Have a lovely evening.