Just want to be skinny

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Anyone else fed up of being obese and just want to be skinny???

I've been fat all my life , I'm a fat greedy bastard. All I do is eat and even when I'm full I'm thinking of the next thing I can indulge in.

I've lost all confidence , how my dp is attracted to me is beyond me.

I've tried all of the diets, I've tried calorie counting I've tried completely starving myself.

I get so jealous when I see woman my age and their slim.

What can I do??? I don't want to try weight loss injections.

Why don't you want to try the injections? Cost? Side effects? Something else?

Are you on TikTok? I suggest watching a few videos from this account to see if it resonates.

www.tiktok.com/@weightloss_unfucked?_t=8qtR7d9cwMa&_r=1

Health anxiety.

You'd think I don't have health anxiety the way I eat and how I'm obese 🙄

Yes, I'm on TikTok.

Thank you x

You need to try and be a better version of yourself, not someone else. You will never be skinny, never! but you might be a healthy attractive weight. Someone told me once obese people are often perfectionists and it really surprised me but it's based on the idea that a perfectionist finds it so hard to accept things don't work out and eventually they give up. Your previous diets didn't 'fail' as you probably lost some weight, they just weren't long term sustainable. Whatever you do try to get CBT in conjunction with a food plan. All the diets out there deal with food but not the thought process, what to do in the moment when you want to eat, how to find that mental energy to say no. I've been to so many different supports myself and none really got it right. I still cant make the right choices when im tired or stressed.

I'm heavy but maintaining, not where I want to be but trying every day, failing most days and forgiving myself those failures. I try to avoid stress and avoid triggers which isn't always possible. I'm not a great advertisement for weight loss but I am feeling happier in myself than I did for many years. Start with your brain and then work on your body.

Also the weight loss forum is really good here.

Sadly it's really boring, hard work and slow going to loose weight and keep it off but it can be done. It sounds like you know what to do but it's so hard sticking to something everyday that takes so much time.

I expect this comes down to your relationship with food. You probably need some help to reframe that.

Have you tried starting with working out? People say it's all about diet, but I lost a stone in 6 months without changing my food intake at all, just by taking up bodyweight training.

Bodyweight workouts make you really aware of your body in a good way. Proud of its strength, keen to improve its flexibility and power. You quickly change shape with toned thighs, lovely muscle ridge hollows down the sides of your waist, tighter butt and upper arms.

You get better posture, which can make you look half a stone slimmer immediately. You have more energy, so you want to move more, generally - walking where you might have taken the car, clearing and cleaning more often, lifting heavy things instead of expecting men to lift them for you etc.

Once you feel positive about your body and what it is capable of, it's easier to start wanting to eat for nutrition not comfort. I'm not saying it is the way to be skinny, but I am now over a stone lighter than I was, without dieting.

Not at all.
Many, many people eat to calm their anxiety. The key is to find an alternative way to self soothe.

@Autumnweddingguest what type of workouts did you do? How regular, did you have a trainer etc? I'm thinking of starting something but I feel the young buff trainers won't understand my body

I think it’s a shame that you want to be ‘skinny’. What about being slimmer? Stronger? @Autumnweddingguest post is spot on IMO. I had a poor relationship with food and my body (bingeing and starving). Taking up weight training really changed all that. Try looking at it from a health perspective rather than aesthetic. ‘Skinny’ is not a realistic goal for most people (and actually not desirable for everyone either). You need much more realistic goals, and looking at the health benefits of losing weight and building muscle will allow you to set realistic goals.

Adele managed it, aim high.

Eat small portions - eat off a side plate
Vegetable heavy diet, no cheese or junk food
Avoid processed food
Exercise, including enjoyable walks

You can’t fix this when you hate yourself. The way you speak about yourself is so sad. How much of your life are you putting on hold until you reach “skinny”? How many times a day do you berate yourself for not being good enough because of your weight whilst ignoring anything positive about you?

If you don’t want to try the weight loss injections fine (I find them helpful) but even they don’t work in isolation. Most of us are working on better nutrition, more exercise, a more balanced relationship with food and our bodies. I have become less of a people pleaser since deciding to lose weight because I realised I needed to look after myself more and better rather than burning out then comfort eating.

Could you write me a list of 5 things that are great about you?
If not, why not?
A person’s weight does not dictate their value and their right to love and respect.

I suspect you may need to address your health anxiety in order to lose weight. It seems as though you are eating your feelings. When you have your anxiety under control, you won't comfort eat as much. Of course, there's a lot more to it than this but you don't make any excuses for your weight and you own your overeating and with that mind, you have a great chance of being able to lead a slimmer life.

@Autumnweddingguest please do you have a link to any body weight training workouts that you would recommend?

If you can find a PT with good qualifications and a good reputation, their age and their own fitness level shouldn’t matter. I worked with a PT who was young enough to be my son and extremely fit and muscular. But he knew his stuff and he really helped me. He understood what my goals were and my abilities and limitations and he created a programme for me. He was respectful and motivating. The only time I felt he didn’t fully understand me was when he wanted me to skip with a rope and I didn’t know how to tell him I didn’t want to because I was worried about wetting myself! Once I’d explained pregnancy/birth/age-related pelvic floor issues to him in euphemistic terms, he totally got it and just found other exercises that were more suitable. I like to think I educated him on things to consider in future when working with women of a certain age!

It's dull, but consistency is key.

Find a form of exercise you enjoy. Stick to it.

Drink a LOT of water. Increase your protein and have it at every meal - it's satiating.

Make sure you are getting decent sleep.

Swap out the crappy snacks with fruit, veg, cheese, nuts. Allow yourself something nice to eat every day so you don't feel deprived.

Cut down on alcohol.

It's a lifestyle change and will take time. But it is so worth it if you can stick to it.

Starving yourself will never work.

I'm writing this as someone who lost 2.5 stone over 6 months.

The old habits are always trying to creep back in & I love food. But I exercise a lot for mental health, so can just about balance it all out.

Set yourself small goals & reward yourself when you get there. It is hard but can be done!

The issues which are causing you to be overweight are complex and often misunderstood. As the saying goes there are no overweight animals in the wild, but the world is full of overweight domestic pets. Don’t beat yourself up over this because self loathing, and a lack of belief in your ability to control your health, your appetite and your weight, are all inter connected. You are not eating because of hunger, you are over eating because of other issues. Start with a plan, a plan to bring some structure to your life. Buy less food, if it isn’t in the house you can’t mindlessly consume calories, drink more water, swap unhealthy for healthy, walk more, dance to music videos, anything which STARTs the process of being happier and healthier. Make a diary for your week of meals and when thinking about food, distract yourself with some activity which lifts the spirits.
Read about the ‘jab’ and see it as a tool not a magic bullet. if it sounds right for you, then use it. Read about your body as a machine and discover more about how nutrition and health are connected. The only country which got rich without getting fat is Japan. Everywhere else there is a health epidemic caused by processed food and sugar. It should be a scandal but it isn’t, low wages and processed food go hand in hand, from the dreaded ‘fast food’ ‘ready meals’ ‘family packs’ ‘2 for 1’ and the poisonous fizzy drinks. Sugar addiction is real. Professor Robert Lustig has lots of videos out there discussing the scandal of cheap processed food which is wrecking people’s diets and lives. You can make changes which are sustainable and become part of your everyday life. Ask yourself where you want to be over the next 12/24 months. If you have always been overweight don’t punish yourself with the idea that in 3 months you’re going to be 3 stone lighter, it will take time, but anything worthwhile ALWAYS takes time. Wishing you the very best of luck.

Tbh, I just looked on you tube for 5 minute HIIT and body weight workouts, then 10 min ones, then 15, working up to 60 mins. For he longer ones, I'd sit down in my workout gear with a cup of coffee and whizz through them in advance so I knew what to expect, as it is frustrating to miss what happens next because you are upside down not facing the screen. Then I'd do the work out or bookmark it to do next day. I did four a week, then joined a local class when I felt fit enough to keep up.

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This sort of thing is good. If you need to pause it for a longer rest than 10 seconds between each move, you can.

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This one is better actually - it's for beginners.

People are fat for two reasons.

lack of education: they don’t know what’s healthy and what isn’t

mental health.

Get therapy. Deal with your binge eating. or educate yourself on what is healthy and what isn’t. Or both.

One of the routes out of the 'yes, but...' maze you are lost in just now is to start treating yourself really, really well. Understand that you feel you have tried all the diets going.

Have look at Gillian Riley's approach

https://www.eatinglessonline.com/

In combination with a way of eating which emphasises a load of leafy green veg and fatty cuts of meat, I've finally (sic) been able to make my peace with my relationship with food.

It wasn't easy but it was really, really simple.

Choose what to eat according to how you will feel after you have eaten. All the best.

I've gone from 18stone to 10st7lbs through weightloss injections.

I had 5 months off before restarting and I didn't gain (but I wasn't able to continue to lose) so I'm confident that when I come off them I won't regain.

Do you know how much the course she does is?

Thank you very much