I need help from someone, anyone, but who?

[norfolkbroadd]

I'm huge. BMI over 45. I don't care about looking fat but I hate the way I struggle in my body and the effect my weight has on existing health conditions.

I have a disabled son and a daughter who I adore and I know I need to change. I've spent years trying to lose weight the more traditional ways, with v mild success, but I know that at 42 I need to make quite a drastic change now to get this sorted.

I considered a gastric sleeve but at my size I'm terrified of going under. And I've had three abdominal surgeries in my life and struggle with adhesions. I'd rather not add to them. We also don't have a spare £6k.

But I can afford Mounjaro. And after months and months of research I've decided to start next week (week we get back from holiday). I am fully prepared for all the negative side effects and have a few ideas about how I will cope with them, but I have to try something.

I don't want to just rely on injections and diet. I want to move more. I want to feel stronger. But I have rheumatoid arthritis and a chronic bowel condition that make moving very hard (hence weight gain). I'm also autistic. It's not a physical condition but I do have a lot of sensory issues that contribute towards just staying home and hiding from the world. What I would love is somebody who knows about gyms and strength training to take me in hand and jolly me along once a week (or twice a week if I get good!) but I don't have any friends that can do that here and I don't know of any gyms or places that could. Our local sports centre has a gym but I'm completely intimidated by it, and I can't really afford a full membership if I'm also haemorrhaging £150-200 a month on Mounjaro too.

I have no idea if this is unreasonable but do personal trainers operate outside of gyms? Could they maybe take me for a walk or bring equipment to my home for me to train here? If I agreed to say a two month programme to show me techniques and get me on the right path I think I could find a way to affording that.

I feel a bit like I'm down a well and calling up but I have no idea who can help me really. Can anybody here suggest anything?

I realise I might sound lazy or frustrating to some reading this but I assure you that isn't the case. I'm constantly busy with my children at home but do have time while they're at school to on myself a little bit.

Sorry you’re going through this, OP. But with your BMI, would you not qualify for Ozempic for free through your doctor - sorry if this is incorrect, others will know more.

That could maybe release money for private exercise sessions where a PT could come to your house?

Well done for doing something about it. x

They're not prescribing on NHS because of shortages from private patients (like me).

What do you need to know? I eat cereal for breakfast with milk, today for lunch I had some flaked hot smoked salmon, salad, french bread for lunch. Dinner is scampi and chips. I don't eat huge portions. I don't binge. I have a bowel condition that puts my body into starvation mode when I have flares and that means it clings to every calorie. And I have PCOS, so again, I pile it on.

When I start the Mounjaro I am going to stock up on fruit, protein yoghurts and healthy snacks and wait and see what happens to my appetite.

I'm not out here caning whole Domino's pizzas by myself every night.

I'm asking how to get help with moving my body. I'm happy to give them a food diary, but I'm not sure why you need one.

Sounds like you feel really motivated which is brilliant
I wonder if you’re overthinking the movement thing a tadge. I know it’s what o do because in reality I’m nervous/don’t really want to do start to look for complex answers to simple questions.
With your BMI and your commitments at home, realistically you’re not going to be smashing 10k or getting massively into weights (yet!). You just need to gently move.
Start with walking after school drop off. Ten mins three times a week, and work up.
Do that until summer term, then add in twice week 20min yoga session or gentle weight work out (I use FIIT, but there’s so much on YouTube. Just find someone you like on there).
In September review it and see if you feel ready to add more.
I don’t think you need to find a very specialised personal trainer at the moment.
Good luck. I’m on a similar journey. It’s working and I feel better than I have done in years.

Sorry full of typos!
Anyway hope it makes sense

I.F.
Cut out sugars, sodium and UPF.
Eat only healthy foods and drinks. They are not hard to find.
Walk daily.
Swim if you can.
Aim to lose 1-2 lb per week. 12 weeks 12 - 20 lb lost.

The sort of personal trainer you're talking about absolutely does exist. I have a friend who does PT sessions for people in their own back garden or in the local park. There's always people advertising this on my local FB groups too.

You also get group classes in local parks, often mostly women from what I've seen. And all sorts of body types. I'd have a look on your local FB groups and either post asking for suggestions or just browse and see if you can find anyone.

Having said that, I do agree with the previous poster who said you don't need to jump straight in with that now. You could just try and do small things initially yourself and get good results. It's also worth having a look to see if there are any free options around you. I know here the council and GP services run some wellbeing walks. Just meeting up with a walk leader once a week and going for a walk as a group. If you need some help jollying you out the door that might do the trick if you can find similar.

Very grateful for the kind and considerate replies. I agree. I just need to move a bit more, whenever I can. I will go in gently, as recommended.

You come across as very motivated, I’ll keep my fingers crossed!

Alongside the injections it’s very important to revise your diet and your relationship with food. And to be honest with yourself, you put on weight in the first place so I honestly doubt your diet is healthy. I have several autistic friends and while it’s not a given they have a tendency to eat crap on repeat. If you are serious about improving your health, diet and exercise are key. There are great resources for women with PCOS, in general having a serious go at Mediterranean diet can work. You might find that cutting out dairy, eating a great variety of vegetables and non-saturated fats can actually improve your other health conditions.

Exercise-wise I recommend Les Mills. I’ve got their subscription for the third year running and expect for doing martial arts I do their workouts at home, I’ve never been inside a gym and I’m very fit! The online subscription is not expensive and the trainers are great, various body shapes including a really motivating fat yoga instructor. They have a whole series of low and very low impact trainings to get people started. I sometimes do some of them on my recovery days and they always put a huge smile on my face.

edit: typos

I would personally spend my money buying better food as it sounds like your diet is largely ultra processed, high in white carbs and low in protein and good fats. Even what you've said you'll be buying after you start your injections is not good food. Sure eat a little fruit, but it's still sugar, those low fat yogurts are processed to within an inch of their life, and so are the low fat snacks I'm guessing you are referring to. If you get your meals right, you won't want or need snacks. I highly recommend reading the book Ultra Processed People, I borrowed it from the library if you don't want to buy it.
99% of the battle of losing weight is what you eat, not exercise. It is very important to understand that. Wishing you the best of luck.

Do you have childhood trauma OP?

Some rude people already, someone with a bmi of 45 wouldn't realistically lose weight by calorie counting alone anyways so no need for the judgemental questioning.

OP, I would start with gentle walking and a daily YouTube video- I checked and lots come up if you search obese or plus size beginners. Chose one that has the most views because it's more likely to be reputable.

@norfolkbroadd come over to one of the Mounjaro chats on weight loss chat. Lots of people there if you have any questions. Don't particularly stock up on foods and see how you feel once you start.

Well done for getting motivated.
As a precursor to the gym maybe you could try swimming? You get some resistance + cardio with minimal impact on joints. If you go during the school day it's mostly oldies so you don't need to worry about not having a beach-ready body.
It is worth bearing in mind though that there are 7700 calories in 1kg of body fat, meaning that unless you're an athlete it would be pretty hard to lose weight through exercise alone. Realistically you also need to get into a calorie deficit. You would need to work out how many calories you can have per day and then count the calories you're eating. I've found Nutracheck app really helpful and the website below for working out the calories in the first place. Sticking at it is bloody hard work though!
Very best of luck xxx

tdeecalculator.net/

You don't need a personal trainer at this stage, walking is perfect. Build up your distance slowly

So you understand that weight is gained and lost from what you eat (yes muscle growth too, but you'd have to be quite into heavy lifting for that to be significant). No amount of exercise is going to 'outrun a bad diet'. So you must get in a deficit. At your size, the deficit doesn't even need to be that great. figure out your TDEE (google it for a calculator), then knock off at least 500 calories from that. Then weigh everything, eat whole foods, bulk meals out with veg. Record every morsel - EVERYTHING - into an app like My Fitness Pal.
Walking is your best exercise, and swimming if there's a pool nearby. But walking is free. Get yourself some good trainers (I like Skechers). Then walk. Ten minutes a couple times a day if that's all you can manage, if more, do more! That's it. Keep walking and eating in a deficit until your weight gets down a significant amount before even thinking of adding in anything else.
If you start a very restrictive diet you are more likely to give up. If you do exercise before your body is ready - you will give up. You don't have to have the sweat pouring off you. You just need to get walking. Build yourself up to walking further and a bit faster.
Then when feeling you can move more easily and the diet is under control (you need to decrease your calories as you lose weight to keep at a 500 cal deficit as your TDEE will change), then I'd recommend getting a personal trainer for a few sessions. They will help you get a routine together that will suit your physical abilities at the time.
Don't wait for motivation. It's not motivation-success-routine, but routine-success-motivation. Your results will motivate you to keep at it.
If you keep eating as you are doing now your body won't change. You need your eat for the body you want. Show up for yourself. Consistency wins. A pound a week (it may be a lot more at first) is still 52/year. All the best.

You sound really motivated which is fantastic. Doing a bit of everything will make you feel so much better in yourself. However, you've got a couple of conditions there which mean you will need to take this really slowly or you'll fall off the wagon really quickly as you'll have so much pain and discomfort.

That sounds like a great idea with the personal trainer. Someone that you could visit in their own home studio perhaps? There are lots of 'Mummy' style personal trainers around which might be better than your typical gym type. They could advise you on nutrition too. Have you checked on Instagram for anyone local? That would probably be the best place to look as you can see their messaging and ideology from their posts to see if they're a fit for you.

I would take definitely take it very easy and stage by stage. The Mounjaro sounds like the first part. You will need to increase your fibre and protein to really get the benefits. Lots of people just stop eating altogether and then just eat crap as they don't feel hungry. I'd recommend introducing a protein smoothie to breakfast as a really good start to the day and see how you get on. I put kefir, skimmed milk, a big scoop of protein powder, handful of spinach leaves then frozen blueberries or raspberries and whizz it up. I also add oats if it's a hungry day.

Nope!

Thank you for this, I know how far gone I am. I definitely need Mounjaro and a realistic plan for afterwards.

People generally tend to assume that obese = stupid so I am very used to being talked down to.

I don't want to lift weights to be thin. I would like my body to feel a bit stronger, through whatever method. Please don't patronise me.

Awesome that you want to make a change.
I would definitely agree that walking is a brilliant starting point for exercise. Start with 10 minutes 1-3 times a day depending on time and ability and build up from there.
In terms of training. Have you considered an online coach? They can give you a home workout tailored to you that you do in your own time, nutrition advice if you want it, and many also provide support and accountability via WhatsApp or there coaching platform.
It sounds like you know what you need to do. Support and accountability are vital and online coaching often provides that as and when required as opposed to just during your hour PT time slot.

The very last thing I would recommend for someone who has a lot of weight to lose is to calorie count. I am starting Mounjaro this week and that's because people who use it say it switches off the food noise in your head. Give it a go and take it seriously. There are tons of people here who will support you but there will be others who give you bad advice and you have to just switch off from those.