I need help from someone, anyone, but who?

[norfolkbroadd]

I'm huge. BMI over 45. I don't care about looking fat but I hate the way I struggle in my body and the effect my weight has on existing health conditions.

I have a disabled son and a daughter who I adore and I know I need to change. I've spent years trying to lose weight the more traditional ways, with v mild success, but I know that at 42 I need to make quite a drastic change now to get this sorted.

I considered a gastric sleeve but at my size I'm terrified of going under. And I've had three abdominal surgeries in my life and struggle with adhesions. I'd rather not add to them. We also don't have a spare £6k.

But I can afford Mounjaro. And after months and months of research I've decided to start next week (week we get back from holiday). I am fully prepared for all the negative side effects and have a few ideas about how I will cope with them, but I have to try something.

I don't want to just rely on injections and diet. I want to move more. I want to feel stronger. But I have rheumatoid arthritis and a chronic bowel condition that make moving very hard (hence weight gain). I'm also autistic. It's not a physical condition but I do have a lot of sensory issues that contribute towards just staying home and hiding from the world. What I would love is somebody who knows about gyms and strength training to take me in hand and jolly me along once a week (or twice a week if I get good!) but I don't have any friends that can do that here and I don't know of any gyms or places that could. Our local sports centre has a gym but I'm completely intimidated by it, and I can't really afford a full membership if I'm also haemorrhaging £150-200 a month on Mounjaro too.

I have no idea if this is unreasonable but do personal trainers operate outside of gyms? Could they maybe take me for a walk or bring equipment to my home for me to train here? If I agreed to say a two month programme to show me techniques and get me on the right path I think I could find a way to affording that.

I feel a bit like I'm down a well and calling up but I have no idea who can help me really. Can anybody here suggest anything?

I realise I might sound lazy or frustrating to some reading this but I assure you that isn't the case. I'm constantly busy with my children at home but do have time while they're at school to on myself a little bit.

I take Mounjaro. I also exercise. The thing that has made the difference for me though is tracking my food. I use MyNetDiary app. The free version is great, I now subscribe for the extra info it provides. Put in your stats and it will tell you how many calories you should be having. It is also really motivating. I have over 30 kgs to lose and I'm on track so far.

OP, maybe you could watch fitness videos on youtube and follow what the instructors are doing. There are fitness apps as well that you can do. You'll have to self-motivate for these but you can do them in the comfort of your home.

Kudos on taking the plunge and ordering Mounjaro - it's going to make a huge difference to your weight and overall health!

@norfolkbroadd do you live in Norfolk? I have a friend in Wymondham who has a personal trainer who takes her walking etc . I could PM their details if it's any use?

@determinedtomakethiswork does medication and calorie counting have to be mutually exclusive? Surely you would still need to be in a deficit while on medication, and would it not be helpful to monitor calorie intake to make sure it doesn't drop too low?
(NB I'm keen to learn, not trying to prove you wrong xx)

@norfolkbroadd We’re a neurospicy family here so I understand some of the reasons why certain exercise avenues might not be for you.

One thing I might say - I’m on ozempic myself and have ADHD. While I understand that I don’t appear to have enough fullness hormones and too many hunger hormones, which ozempic corrects, what I couldn’t understand is why so many of us have this affliction in such a short number of years.

Looking at my own diet, I’ve been a sugar addict ever since I was a child. That, combined with a limited number of meals my family will eat leads to a fairly unvaried diet. I’m reading so much about our gut health and how our ultra processed food has reduced our ability to feel full, and is designed to artificially increase dopamine levels so that we crave it when we are hungry.

why am I saying all this? Well, I know everyone is saying eat in a deficit and walk. That’s good advice. But if I am to permanently keep the weight off it appears I have to do something else, equally as important. Eat a much much wider variety of natural food. If you are autistic, that’s not easy. The familiarity of food, along with sensory issues, can make it really difficult to widen your diet. But if you can even make small changes towards that, I think it will really help when you come off the drugs at some point in the future.

OP, come over to the Mounjaro threads. You will get much kinder replies than you will on this one, from people who are in or who have been in your exact position. Some of the replies you've got here are judgy and rude AF.

Mounjaro will help you sort your diet out... As will the support of the threads. And when you lose weight, exercise becomes a lot easier. I started with a BMI of over 45 and now 8 weeks in its at 40. Mounjaro isn't a quick fix, but it does give you the space to sort out your eating and allows you to lose weight at a sensible rate. You sound really motivated, and that is great! But I wouldn't focus all on exercise now... Start the Mounjaro, walk more and then you can start to think about resistance training.

@specialityrasp you are one of the rude posters I was referring to. I thought you were going to leave her to it? Please do.

@specialityrasp You seem really over invested in the op’s diet and you are being rude and rather aggressive. Just leave it.
Op, I don’t really have any advice other than to say Personal trainers like you described very much do exist. One of my best friends is a very much in demand PT, working mostly in her clients’ gardens. Many of her clients are people such as yourself who need to get started on their fitness/ weight loss journey and need someone to guide them a bit.
Good luck!

Hello, I’m sorry you’ve received a bit of a bashing on this thread already.

increasing your strength is a good goal and will pay dividends as you get older and your bones are stronger, your core more stable, you’re able to maintain balance, etc

A short walk a day is good but will have limited benefits for increasing strength. I’d look at body weight exercises and start at a low level. Maybe start with squats and slowly increase how low you go and how many you do. Wall sits are also good for strength. In terms of upper body strength you might find press ups uncomfortable at this stage but once you start losing adding them in would be a good step.

there are lots of you tube videos that require no equipment or minimal - watch a few (without following along!) and choose one you like. When I first reintroduced exercise after a long break I had a week or so of just doing the warm up! Do what you can and aim to add a bit more each week xx

I would find a nice PT, you'll feel like you know what you're doing and be confident in the gym in no time, resistance training whilst losing weight will also help somewhat to prevent too much loss of lean mass.

OP firstly you need to get real about how losing weight works.
Moving body is the icing on the cake to weight loss. What you eat is the actual cake. Diet makes up 90% of weight loss. So many people I see trying to lose talking about getting in the gym and they can’t excercise etc. It really doesn’t matter if you exercise. You don’t need to spend on gym memberships etc. Literally just walking around the block is enough for now!
But you really really need to be honest with yourself about food and drink.
Appetite suppressants may work short term but you will put it all back on if you don’t completely overhaul your diet and the way you look at food (and yourself including self esteem)
I would recommend an really well recommended online diet coach or someone who you can talk to weekly / daily about your diet. You will need to research one but there are some fabulous coaches out there who will help you re evaluate and overhaul your life and diet and give you daily support. You need something that will be for life. Not just several months.

OP, I don't assume obese = stupid but I do assume obese = lacking knowledge of how to eat healthy and/or having unhealthy relationship with food, hence my post.

Well you assume incorrectly. Read up on PCOS and the effect on appetite. Read up on autoimmune conditions and the effect on weight.

I have two slim and very healthy children.

I lost 50 lbs last year. I realised that I had to view sugar like an alcoholic with alcohol and just cut it out. Once I'd done that it was pretty easy. Low fat, low sugar , tons of protein and veg and walking. Can't do much exercise due to an old injury so I do chair yoga/ walking/ Lesley Sansone walking videos on YouTube.

I eat loads more now than I ever did before.

I only ever lost 1-2 lbs a week, I'm plateauing a bit at the moment but I'm happy as long as I don't gain.

Good luck 🤞

Edited to add- I also have PCOS

I doubt her diet is really fine, scampi and chips unless a one off occasionally meal isn't fine. It's scary how tiny a portion of chips is 'fine.' Too many fines but you know what I mean!

Moving the body might be the ‘icing on the cake’ for weight loss (it’s not, weight loss is about food consumption), but moving the body is essential to reach her goal of getting stronger. She’s asked for help in achieving a goal of gaining strength.

It is a one off occasional meal @MrsPelligrinoPetrichor the day before we had roast chicken with giant cous cous and roasted tomatoes, olives and basil. I ate the breast meat, the day before we had a bbq and I had a tuna skewer, a halloumi skewer and a chicken kebab (made by me with breast meat and veg), with homemade potato salad and homemade slaw.

I will obviously eat less when I'm on Mounjaro, and will almost certainly want to skip chips anyway. But I do know how to cook healthy food. We aren't whacking beige stuff in our air fryer every day.

What I'm taking away from this is that some people get it, understand and want to help. And some just see ignorant fat person and assume we eat fried cheese on chicken dippers every night for tea.

I scratch cook 90% of our meals. Normal stuff - fajitas, spag bol, roast chicken dinner, and also some really bloody nice stuff - pho, ramen, keema. I know where the fat is, and I know how to avoid it or lessen it. And I know that potatoes, rice, pasta and bread are somewhere just inside the third circle of hell. But I also have a family who eat those things and I will just have to eat, well, less.

Weight loss is about moving and food combined although food takes the vast majority of course.
Feeling strength. Right. To be honest I take this to mean feel fitter generally. When you are the OP’s weight just moderate exercise feels so difficult. Everything feels difficult from putting clothes on to climbing stairs, to going for a brisk walk.
The feeling of strength will come from getting to a healthy weight. That will feel like a gargantuan change in fitness and strength in itself. And to be honest losing the weight is far far more important than doing a few bicep curls or squats at this stage!

But thank you again to those encouraging me to move gently with slow increments. I have a tendency to want to go in hard on things then run out of steam. I will be working extra hard to go slow and suppress that urge.

No I didn't @specialityrasp - you read that somewhere, between the lines, probably in between what I wrote and your own perception of overweight people.