I want a different me! Do you?

[DoctorDolittle]

Accountability thread. I piled on a huge amount of weight at start of menopause, was ravenous all the time, and am really struggling to lose it. I thought an accountability thread that also focused on increasing self-care and self-worth would be good.

So - food wise I think I’ll try “no snacks”, that gives some wiggle room with meals to be what I most fancy/will fit in with kids the most.

Self-care: I bought a whole new skincare regime a month ago, just start using it woman!!! Am pampering my decades-long neglected feet each night and have booked in to salon for eyelash tint and curl as now suddenly need to wear glasses and want to feel better about eye area behind them.

Fluids!!!

Any company would be welcome 😊

All nice! Aubergine, broccoli, leeks, onions, spinach.

Lunch was rest of wild rice, with cherry tomato, half a tin of salmon, cucumber and oil. Perhaps better with avocado but there was none left.

Supper - broccoli with tinned anchovies and something else...I'm not sure what.
Two very long dog walks.

Broccoli with anchovies AND aubergine wedges baked in oven served with a tin of drained green lentils..DH is having pasta with his, hates lentils..

Hi all, been more crazy than usual here with a hospital appointment for my prolapse thrown in for good measure but trying to stick to good eating habits though definitely not drinking enough water. Hope everyone keeping ok, the weather over here isnt great this week, rain, rain & more rain.
@Nettleskeins thanks for the heroic hug, I'm way over early starts, I've been doing them over 30 years, but lately I'm finding it more difficult to get out of bed after 3am 🙈 last Friday I was ready to throw in the towel, we're in Communion/Confirmation season here & orders are unreal. I think I'm getting too old for it lol, as well as the fact that my job has probably caused the prolapse.
I'm weighing in tomorrow morning & I'm setting myself a little target for 3 weeks time, & I'm making appointments for a hair colour & eyes to be waxed, tinted etc as a treat before a weekend away. It mught stop me picking in the evening time. 🤞

@Misshollys you definitely deserve some pampering! Hope the weekend away gets better weather than at the minute.

@Nettleskeins you've got me craving aubergine now lol.

Today has been perfectly fine food wise but I’ve felt very meh…need to do a big food shop which is probably not helping. Had porridge, scrambled egg on toast, and two wee feta and spinach things. Handful of grapes.
Tomorrow I fancy garlic mushrooms with roast sweet potato, not sure what else though.

@Misshollys I'm sorry you are suffering and being on your feet all day; hope hospital appointment was/will be a step forward.

Gosh those special order Communion and Confirmation cakes were indispensable at the time, the children said they had had enough of my strange homemade birthday cakes which never rose very far
I seem to remember the twins' Confirmation cake had blue lettering, buttercream sponge and silver doves?? (Or did I just make that up. )Also some of the hymn Jerusalem on it.!! Mixing traditions..
I don't have proper pictures, one of godparents sent me some in an email in 2016 - I must look them up.

Garlic mushrooms, yum. I love stuffed mushrooms too.

2lbs down on last time I weighed. Around a stone gone since January. Three stones still to go to healthy bmi.

That's very encouraging @DrDolittle. I've said to myself by July I won't remember the restrictions, only the new me. Already the last two weeks have passed and I'm still in one piece regardless of the" difficulty".

My BMI is 28 I think down from 29. Still a way to go, as you say.

So I'm at 90.65 kg today from 93.kg 12 days ago. By Friday I hope to be at that magic 89kg. And then aim for 87 and so forth. I can't believe I ever thought 12stone was "heavy". It seems like Twiggy now.

I think I ate rather too many green lentils yesterday...I think the fried onion and fried broccoli with garlic plus the aubergine chunks roasted was overdoing the satiating factor! My digestion fine - it's just it was probably enough for two skinny people's supper.

Have had just milky coffee (instant) and half a plain brioche burger bun (100 cal it claims) for breakfast as I'm really not hungry after my supper last night. Probably will press through till 2pm for a small unfatty meal then. And eat less at supper than yesterday.

@Misshollys I am finding it easier not to pick by having a really nice supper, it must be said. Found picture of confirmation cake from 2017. It was white with gold tracery on sides in royal icing or fondant, small number of squiggly flowers and copperplate inscription. A Polish bakery.
The blue one must have been Ds1. I have no pictures, except of the guests.

@Nettleskeins it sounds like your focus is strong, which is half the battle. I know what you mean about everything being relative…when I was 10 stone I thought there was no way I’d let myself get as heavy as 12 stone…now I’ll be so, so happy to get down to 12!

A friend of mine who is pretty slim is trying to lose some weight at the minute, and she lists to me what she has as standard meals - it really is small amounts. The nhs recommends someone my age and height weighs between 8 stone and 10 10…I have never been below 10, and even when I was that my family were all saying I looked far too thin and my head seemed too big for my body. I’d like to get a good blood pressure, whatever weight that is.

Today’s food:

Scrambled eggs
Marmite oatcakes & grapes
Mushroom & pepper stew
Had more water than the last few days.

Did some heavy lifting in the garden, also planted a smoke bush cutting and weeded. Sat with a cuppa out in the gasp of sun we had.

I've drunk a lot of water today.

Food today:

Half a brioche burger bun
Milky instant coffee x 2 today
Half plate of the leftover lamb (mostly tomato now) curry with half a potato, half a courgette steamed and chopped. Large dollop of low fat yoghurt on top.
About to have: small amount of wholemeal penne with large ladle of Bolognese, steamed chunks of quartrer courgette and half sliced steamed leek (put another portion aside for lunch tmw) and spoonful of parmesan, no other butter or oil except for Bolognese.
One cup of tea with milk

I do love a marmite oatcake...but oatcakes are my nemesis.

Bloody menopause, you don’t do anything differently, yet you put weight on, so unfair 😫

My stomach was permanently bloated as well, had all the usual tests to rule out cancer. Then my Dr recommend Optibac, which is a probiotic, I also started having a teaspoon of turmeric with hot water and honey in the morning, which helped.

I’d also started the 16:8 fasting eating regime just over a year ago, it really works. I have porridge with nuts, seeds and fruit, a mid afternoon snack and a dinner before 8pm, then nothing until noon the next day. It took a few weeks to get used to it and lots of tummy rumbling, but I persevered. I went up to nearly 11stone, at 5’3” that was too much for my frame. I’ve just dipped under 10 stone, which is great. No more bloating and my clothes fit again.

I’ve always eaten healthily so the menopause weight gain was a bit of a shock 😱

Scientists have also discovered that fasting eating regimes help produce healthy bacteria in your gut, so this also helps with bloating.

I’m really pleased with the results, I can’t ramp up my exercise as I have M.S, I walk my dogs every day, so at least I can do a bit.

Confirmation cake sounds lovely, they haven't changed much at all over the years, I actually have to bake a Lemon Madeira cake for my friend for her granddaughters Confirmation on Sunday, I'll start to decorate it on Friday, I'll try put a picture on Sunday. I don't do many fakes at home, just family and friends. Very handy as presents.
Diet today ok, considering I've had another failure at the fixing the prolapse 😞
I'm not eating enough fibre so picked up flaxseed today to have on my cereal & I need drink lots & lots of water.
Menopause hasn't been kind to me either, & I used to sleep so well until it started now my insomnia is awful.
I promise to try to do better on water tomorrow 🙏🏻

@Snippit that is a great loss, and regime that clearly works for you.

@Nettleskeins today’s food sounds tasty. You’re definitely making me want to cook some curry!

I worked out my big bowl of food for dinner was only 100 calories max… lots of fibre too which is great. Will try and prep some similar for freezer in case of unexpected hunger pangs.

Yes, it is a shock especially if you feel comfortable in your skin and really don't notice until it's too late

I'm not in the habit of weighing myself and it was only when a particular dress was very tight (most of my clothes are floaty) that I was forced to acknowledge what seemed like perfectly healthy meals and snacks were piling on the weight.

Hot water (without tea coffee)drinks are new to me but I find them helpful.

I've been addicted in the past to nuts and seeds (used to eat spoonfuls of sesame seeds,) so I really regard every food as potentially dangerous😂especially if too delicious.

That was to @Snippit

@Misshollys I'm so sorry the prolapse repair is not working out.
I feel fibre is coming out my ears now! I could make a rope ladder. I was looking at my rather too healthy Bolognese and thinking what are all these leeks and celery bits and where is the butter ??? I felt pyschologicslly hungry when I left the supper table but strangely enough I don't now, fibre does fill you up an hour later.

It really does! And I think avoiding processed snack foods makes a big difference by the time you get past your thirties…the more you have, the more you want.

I sowed carrots, lettuce, purple sprouting broccoli, chard, beetroot, courgette and rocket tonight. Beans are already done.

The Spring Rush with seed sowing. It gives one a great sense of looking forward, preparation, investment

Breakfast was six pistachios and two prunes and a milky instant coffee. Not really feeling hungry when I wake, anymore! However this am I've been rather lazy so that could be it.

I’m the same - mornings don’t bother me much at all. Sometimes I think will I have something for health but then I think no as I’m not actually hungry. I’d like to get much more in tune with eating for fuel.

Returned from errand quite late at 2pm, then was V hungry so glad to be able to heat up my :

portion of reserved brown pasta and Bolognese. Ate a plain cooked beetroot too, just sliced with salt, then a small amount of whole milk yoghurt with a whole sliced banana. Left a bit of pasta ...didn't feel I needed all of it, only the protein element.

Now feel quite full!! If supper is at 830pm I can probably wait till then for next food..

Also did a lot of grocery shopping from the shop next to bus stop. Tahini, brown bulgar wheat, jalfresi spice base (Patak), raw cashews, parsley, coriander bunch. I need to plan so much more now, or I am the mercy of quick fixes. Also want to avoid any white carbs.

Do you have proper vegetable beds @DrDolittle? It sounds as if you have a greenhouse. I have a little one but it's in the wrong place and too shady ...our garden is very small really, and no room for veg this year. Feral raspberries(they must have started in a pot) growing up through the small sand based patio are nice to eat though.

Reading the start of your thread, I realise the "self care" is one of the important parts of this challenge, not just losing weight. I'm still trying to fathom out what that self-care looks like for me...and for everyone it will be different. I think I don't travel enough and deprive myself that way so will have a think about visiting people/relatives more frequently and getting away from home more. Son 2 already told me I should just get on a train one day and go! The young can be very brave sometimes.

@Nettleskeins That sounds like a great plan about the train, you could have many adventures.
Been a busy afternoon here, have baked the Lemon Madeira, there's a chicken in the air fryer, potatoes are on & veg is ready to steam. I've tried drink more water this afternoon, I've a bottle on my counter & I'm really trying. I used to be able to drink litres of water but it's more difficult now, my problem means I feel I need the bathroom all the time so it puts me off drinking more, 🫣 I was down a lb & a half this week though so happy with that. Weather is really bad here at the moment, lashing rain, really hopes it improves for the long weekend.

I think it takes a while for the bladder to adjust and then it's actually better for it in the long run😊i am certainly one for needing frequent visits as I adjust to all these drinks...
We don't have a downstairs loo so I'm adding that bother to my calorie count.

Supper was:
One sausage (meaty)
Lots of sliced steamed leeks
One egg boiled
3 medium sliced mushrooms sautéed in butter
Dollop of creme fraiche
Green salad with oil and vinegar
Water to drink

Everyone else had several sausages, delicious smelling oven chips and green salad but I resisted!

Tomorrow is weigh in. Cross fingers I've got to 89kg.

@Nettleskeins I think going off on travel adventures sounds like a great plan. I moved countries on my own and as a single parent nearly thirty years ago…I look back at that old me and think wow! Your food sounds tasty.
@Misshollys enough drinking, especially if you feel you need the loo a lot, can be so difficult can’t it. Would it help if you had more with meals? I always have a point of water with every meal as I’m so bad between them.

I binged on cake last night. Had one small one…that started it and I went and had a lot more.. Just cannot control myself enough yet to eat any highly calorific food. I’m going to fast for as long as I can and then just pick myself up mentally and carry on with journey.