I want a different me! Do you?

[DoctorDolittle]

Accountability thread. I piled on a huge amount of weight at start of menopause, was ravenous all the time, and am really struggling to lose it. I thought an accountability thread that also focused on increasing self-care and self-worth would be good.

So - food wise I think I’ll try “no snacks”, that gives some wiggle room with meals to be what I most fancy/will fit in with kids the most.

Self-care: I bought a whole new skincare regime a month ago, just start using it woman!!! Am pampering my decades-long neglected feet each night and have booked in to salon for eyelash tint and curl as now suddenly need to wear glasses and want to feel better about eye area behind them.

Fluids!!!

Any company would be welcome 😊

Thanks @Nettleskeins that sounds great advice.

I was really suffering with feeling tired- in hindsight that must have been a bit diet related- but I started taking iron tablets which helped beat the fatigue.

Great point about adding veg to your own meals.

And walking upstairs- I've said to myself once a day I'll walk up the stairs rather than take the lift to work.

Well this weekend has gone ok.

I feel I got a bit of a talking to from DP about all the fat I eat and the amount I drink- which he said is no where near as much as him.

But quite a lot of my diet and lifestyle is trying to keep up with him and not make a special fuss- so that motivated me to put myself first for once.

Sat
Ran 5k
Breakfast: banana, blueberries, porridge oats, milk and Greek yogurt. Plus coffee with cream.

Lunch: 2 egg omelette with tomato and parsley, 2 carrots ra. Drink: hot water with lemon

Pub visit: half pint of Guinness

Dinner: sweet potato, baked beans, grated cheese. Drink: hot water with lemon

That's it for the whole day!

I looked a lot better when I woke up this morning.

Today:
Yoga and short run

Breakfast: porridge, blueberries, Greek yogurt. Drink: hot water with lemon

Lunch: 3 egg omelette, tomato, parsley, garlic, cheese. Drink: tea. Dessert: salad peanuts

Pub: 1/4 pint lager

Dinner: chicken & courgette salad. Drink: tea. Dessert: granola and kefir

Was actually feeling starving today- but I'd been in the sun and really drained. Hoped not to eat granola but was so drained- and chicken salad absolutely tiny so was still starving.

That looks an amazing lineup Blending - also the 5k run! Wow...havent done a 5km run for let me see ahem exactly 7 years....the Park Run I gave up on in despair...hmm.
The starving thing can only be beaten by more protein and yes carbs at supper. I don't think it's possible to go to bed actually hungry...I can't do that 😞
But the feeling of wanting to eat something AFTER a "filling" supper was a habit unrelated to hunger and that only left me after about a week. And herbal tea helped with that.

Back in Ireland again. Rasberries, blackcurrants growing here but the soda bread is again threatening my balanced diet! Haven't eaten very well yesterday but the mowing and walking have notched up the strengthening activity.
Today I need to buy some vegetables.

With something like chicken salad I think the trick is to have an enormous plate of it - mostly veg but it has to take a good while to actually eat it - and plenty of oil in dressing and different textures like sunflower seeds or avocado cubes. So you feel satisfied not just calorie wise but by experience of eating and chewing. Also veg is quite hydrating.
I was so thirsty before this new way of eating and I didnt realise it, and I often confused thirst with hunger.

Hi everyone,

I've been out of action for a few days with a severe migraine attack. These things are the bane of my life and I've had them since childhood.

I haven't been particularly watching what I eat but will get back into it this week.

About my art, I am self taught, even though I have had exhibitions and sell some work one and off. I don't have a particular style as such but most of my themes seem to be around loneliness for some reason. At least that's what people remark upon. My painting for the hallway is of a zen theme with water and mountains. At least that's what I have in mind.

I'm about to have cauliflower rice and shrimps for an early dinner, and hopefully wrap up the eating for the day.

Hope everyone's having a good week!

Ahh I love soda bread @Nettleskeins it's sooo good.

Bread is a massive downfall for me- and one of the main things I need to cut out along with cakes, sugar and chocolate.

Ah sorry to hear about the migraine @EasternEcho

Today and tomorrow will be tricky days for me. I'm travelling with work- just spent 6-7 hours in the car, traffic james and roundabouts- absolutely boiling and drained. Got to my hotel. Kitchen wasn't open for another 20 mins, but felt absolutely awful - ordered roast veg wrap. The waiter took it away before I could finish the crisps which I suppose is a good thing. Then as soon as he cleared my plate I realised the kitchen was open- so have just ordered main meal of chicken and chips 😳

Was wondering if I could survive until tomorrow morning just on the wrap - and my body screamed no!

Only piece of restraint is not ordering alcoholic drink- but as I type this I could murder a glass of wine.

Hello @Blending123 !

Struggling with the evenings these last few days - no mileage left in my foot by then and struggling to get going with anything to keep me occupied. Rubbish TV. Early bed. Can't even be arsed to play the piano - heat isn't helping! Need to find my mojo. I think this is the hole that wine filled, determined to push through though!

The good news is that I'm still losing weight.

Hopefully I'll feel better after a nice cooling shower...

Gosh, evenings sounds similar here Verlag...Im wondering whether secret ingredient is People...I'm feeling a bit bored too. Too much Zen here is all I can say...but maybe I'm not channelling it into something creative...green empty solitude can be TOO lonely !!! But I need to find a lake view (on foot as no car this week)
Interesting local Cheese seems the only comfort this evening.

Anyway today was probably a one off in terms of boringness, tomorrow I shall be more energetic.

I was looking at some local art in the newly opened art shop with water and rocks today, sadly I don't think it quite captured the mysterious quality ...the artist had plonked some enormous boulders in.!!

Blending your story made me smile..that desperate feeling when you are stuck in a hotel after a hideous journey. Hope work trip goes well in the end.

@Blending123 Hello!

I am with you on the suffering and straining. I wasn't like that before, in fact most of my life I was convinced that suffering was the only way to achieve things, but by mid-40s, and certainly by the time I hit 50, I've had it with that. I think that's why I keep failing with intermittent fasting. I hope your work trip goes well.

@Verlag Hope your evening ended on a good note and you felt better after the shower. I'm trying to run all my errands first thing in the morning if I need to be out in this heat. I am out by 8 a.m and get back indoors by 10. I am truly averse to heat and too much sun. I think my migraines are triggered by light sensitivity.

@Nettleskeins I too feel I can't go to bed hungry and need carbs. But unfortunately if I do pop carbs into my mouth, I can't stop. That feeling of wanting to eat even after I'm full at dinner is still with me, and have to actively suffer through it, which I hate.

I haven't weighed myself but my clothes are still getting looser. I have a mesomorph body type (well I used to anyway, I wonder if that changes too with the joys of perimenopause) which responds very quickly to workouts, so I'm thinking the better fitting clothes is due to the increase in workouts including weights rather than weight loss.

I had my last meal at 5:30 p.m. last evening and won't be having lunch till around 12:30. So, I would have fasted for around 18 hours without too much effort. Will have a large salad of some kind for lunch and cauliflower rice and chicken for an early dinner.

Morning! This week has flown by! So glad it is cooler now. Really noticed how much more I enjoyed Thursday compared to Wednesday.

I lost 0.7 kg this week, so 2.6 kg in the last two weeks. I was 1.1 kg down this week on Thu but clearly fluctuated up again. Happy with that. Continuing with no alcohol and trying to up the protein and fibre and going light with the carbs. Meal planning etc still an issue to sort. I've been having very simple food - fish or chicken and steamed veg a lot of dinner. I need variety though as I know what will happen.

Funny how just starting the process of losing (at long last) has immediately got me more interested in clothes (so scrolled through online shops) - even though I am still heavier than I have ever started losing weight before and have a long way to go before I'll really start enjoying them. I guess I feel it is possible again. That and getting back to things I used to enjoy but hate doing at this higher weight (reformer Pilates, swimming etc). I haven't done that seated weights routine since I posted about it the first time...lot of habits still to embrace that's for sure!

You're doing great @EasternEcho - sounds like you are in your stride with the IF and workouts.

Evenings are still an issue. Too much free time and lulling about in the comfort zone. The hope is to potter about doing things like getting the house nice (whilst listening to an interesting audio book/podcast); do some beauty things, weights, go out for an evening walk (foot! argh!!), properly practice the piano (not just play the bits I know well!), finish off bits of work (think that is better than half watching shit TV whilst aimlessly scrolling on ipad) and when I am ready exercise classes.

That sounds a great plan @Verlag - I really enjoy when I have productive evenings, and I genuinely think pottering about your house helps with weight loss as it's better that being sedentary.

I feel having a healthier diet helps with that too - as you don't feel so wiped out and exhausted with digesting piles of unhealthy food.

I asked my mum yesterday if she could tell a difference as I'm a week into making an effort now.

She's been on my case for a really long time about my weight.

She said the main thing she noticed is my brighter demeanour and energy. Which has been one of the benefits I've felt this week too.

I'm sure not drinking helps with that too.

Thanks @Blending123 .

Great news that you're feeling brighter and have more energy after a week! 😀

I've had a very energetic week. Buses and walking. Today I made two new flowerbeds and lifted turf (bending and stretching)to make them. Even mowing is a workout of sorts.
Food has been quite dull: I'm hungry I eat but there hasnt been any proper cooking all week! I have been eating a lot of raspberries and redcurrants and delicious cheese; fry ups, walnuts, chickpea and pasta soup with mushrooms, lots of boiled eggs, nasturtium leaves (!)
No alcohol but occasionally I have some shortbread when I'm very rained on and covered in earth and need an old fashioned cup of tea plus biscuit.
I havent weighed myself for the last few days - I suspect I havent lost or gained.
Verlag my evenings havent been productive ..I lose concentration. Maybe that's perfectly normal. I miss the telly because my signal isn't working so Im half reading various gardening books...so I need to find a new book or concentrate enough to watch a dvd..still it's unfortunate that bleugh feeling makes one feel evening is "unfinished" somehow.

That sounds a very productive week @Nettleskeins lovely to be outside so much and eat that mix of food.

I'm really enjoying the Chris van Tullekan UPF book. It's such a good read. Even though I may have thought I know the general principles it's such a good book to read.

One major thing I noticed over the weekend is how much UPF messes with my mood.

I had a burger from a food truck on Saturday- first UPF for a few days- and on Sunday felt cranky, then had BLT from Costa which I normally wouldn't have thought was UPF - but that made me cranky and anxious too.

Only whole foods last night and today so far- so hopefully that will keep me on an even keel.

My stomach is a bit slimmer now- a week in to making an effort- so it's nice to see a bit of a change- but my motivation is much more to make me feel good now rather than simply look good- so I'm sure that's positive

I'm fitting into various clothes that were a bit snug before. My waist has returned.
But tiredness back this week...could it be the weather making the plants emit carbon dioxide more plentifully (lowered light levels perhaps reducing photosynthesis ?!!!😎)
It's been pouring with rain in the south east of UK. Have ended up with afternoon nap every day. Also a lot of brain fog!! No reason for it, every blood level recently tested. Maybe the election was too exciting.

Food choices only moderately good, and reliance on bread is creeping back.
Had prawn stir-fry for supper and left the noodles as I was still full from lunch.

Walking still a regular fixture (dog) but not very far...2 km a day max

Hope everyone is well.
Cleared out cupboards and found a courgette spiraliser, a smoothie maker, acheese making kit, and a jam kit.(Muslins, strainer etc, labels) Strangely cheering. Havent been interested in cooking recently so maybe this will inspire me -or I could declutter it all

My three twenty year olds are all returning home to live here. Trying to work out a strategy for September that does not include us parents shopping cooking and washing up. DH says they can buy their own food!

Hi everyone,

How is everyone doing?

@Nettleskeins It has been pouring down here as well, with a few thunderstorms thrown in. Congratulations on your waist returning!

That will be a busy time for you with your kids returning home. Personally, I would love it :)

School's out and my days are taken up with keeping my 6 year old occupied. But it has meant getting out more to playgrounds and walks, so it's been positive.

I haven't been watching what I eat, but have been keeping up with exercise. Yesterday I felt strong enough to up my weights as I felt they were no longer challenging, so I'll take that as a win. Feel a bit achy and flu-like today though from the extra weights.

I'll try to get back on track with eating today. I still haven't weighed myself as that will just demoralize me, but since my clothes are fitting well, I won't worry about it too much at the moment.

I'm going to make a stir fry from a turkey breast today. No particular receipe. Let's see how it goes.

I'm doing ok thanks @EasternEcho. I had two slices of cake and nearly a bottle of wine over the course of the weekend and I can really see what a difference that has made to my stomach.

Normally I wouldn't be able to tell a specific food making a particular difference. But because I hadn't drank since the previous weekend, plus haven't had any sweet treats- it really stood out.

I was massively struggling at work earlier today- I really wanted to go and buy a nice lunch and a big cake.

But my healthy filling lunch more than did the trick, and I feel fine again now.

I'm eating German rye bread with unsalted butter and emmental cheese with an apple.

Having 3 slices instead of two - which is my next target to try to reduce that.

I think I do have a very needy side where I use food as a crutch so am prone to overeating- but as long as I keep it healthy that's something at least.

There is nothing more delicious than unsalted butter!!
(Unless it's salted kerrygold on new potatoes..hmm)

Did a very long walk with dog today (errand)
Channelling petrichor!

Eastern life with a six year old..I loved it, the parks and playgrounds and the world from their angle. Watching a film with them afterwards was such a treat too.

@Blending123 I too, use food as a crutch, and have the tendency to binge eat at nights, and it is a real problem for me. I'm still battling with it every day. I also love rye bread and emmental cheese! That's a reminder that I need to get some cheese today.

@Nettleskeins Yes, indeed. She is fun to hang out with and the things they observe and say makes you see things so differently. I took her to see Inside Out a few days ago and it was fun.

@Verlag How are you doing?

The one thing I have been consistent with is working out and skincare. I can definitely see body composition changes, but not sure if the scales are up or down.

In the vein of a different me, I'm also working on other areas of my life such as giving up on friendships that seem to be rather one-sided with me doing all the work. It comes from being a people pleaser and fear of abandonment, but I'm getting much better at intentionally working at just letting go of people and things in the belief that better ones will come along eventually.

It's my husband's birthday today and he wants to go for a Chinese buffet. That's going to set me back quite a back in terms of calories :)

Hope everyone's having a good week.

Chinese stirfried greens and Chinese broccoli and chicken with cashew nuts and less rice...you will be fine!

I've just read a very interesting book called The Secret Life of Clutter by Sanderson - insights into letting go and people pleasing there...it reads like a mystery thriller in parts.

Often I find myself eating to please others and not eating to spite others...amazing how much 'generosity" and communication is equated with food in our minds.

I'm struggling with clutter still in this house and decision making. Found myself ridiculously torn re throwing out a book on Disraeli and Victorian politics ...last time I did this was for A level 😭 its not an A level book but its as if Im trying to be too many people. Decisions are everywhere and narrowing it down isnt a crime but it feels like one....

Anyway I've put it in a bag along with Gbrich story of Art. Good books but I don't have time or space.

Ds2 has purloined tickets to Wimbledon and gone off with a friend and picnic, now he is good at being decisive!

That sounds like an interesting book @Nettleskeins.
I heard something a while ago about clutter lying around relating to boundary issues- and I think of that all the time. I think I'd get a lot out of that book.

So for two weeks I've been very slightly slimming down and it has felt good. But I think I might have plateaued now.

My stomach is still really big. I'm sure it will fade eventually as I am actually eating very healthily- with no processed foods, treats or alcohol (with the exception of the weekend)

Luckily I'm not aiming for any specific event, but I did want to keep seeing progress.

I'm 5'7 and size 14. Prob just under 12 stone- but haven't weighed myself for a while.

An aim would be to be under 11 stone- which I haven't been for over 10 years.

I had hoped to be size 12 by Christmas as that didn't sound too unrealistic.

@Nettleskeins Thank you for the book recommendation. I will look into it.

Thanks for the tip on the Chinese dinner. Will try to stick to it. Will be leaving in a couple of hours.

Luckily, I don't have physical clutter. In fact, I would call myself a minimalist. I rarely get attached to physical things and have no trouble throwing stuff out. But people and mental clutter is a big issue. I still keep in touch many of the people I've worked with about 30 years ago and almost everyone who have come into my life since, let alone all my school and university friends. We are scattered all over the world, and I'm probably the one who initiates contact most of the time, but I feel compelled to do so, and letting go of people often feels like I'm letting go of pieces of myself. It's a weird feeling and probably based on issues I'm not even aware of. It's exhausting. But I'm looking forward to working on it :)

Ah @EasternEcho on the one hand it does sound nice that you're keeping in touch, but it's probably good to audit it, and check its not leaving you feeling bad rather than good for doing it.

I just had an illuminating chat with my colleague and realised all the butter and cheese I'm eating will be what's gone wrong with my diet this week 🤦‍♀️

Everyone sounds really positive - lovely to read 😀

That books does sound good! Interesting take on it with people @EasternEcho - hadn't thought of it like that.

My diet is ticking along nicely - still working just avoiding the booze completely (well I had one glass of wine last week at a work's night out but that has been it for 5 weeks now) and really watching what I eat. I'm down 4.2 kg (9.3 lbs) now.

I'm working quite a lot at the moment - lots of things to finish off and prep at the end of the academic year, which is helping with the food but not helping so much with all the other things I would like to work on. I'm giving myself a pass until the summer holidays start, but a list would be something like:

• consistent skin care routine
• weights
• physio exercises
• house and housework

That's probably enough to start with. I don't feel like I can start to work on other goals until I'm further ahead with the weight loss like being more sociable (I don't want to at the moment and I am pretty sure it will involve exercise I can't do at the moment), starting reformer Pilates again (hate doing it when I am carrying too much weight)...