God Im a minger

[CHOCOLATEPEANUT]

Had 3rd baby 14 weeks ago.Never been stressed about body before.I crept up from a 12 to a 14 then a 16 (im 5'9) then back to a 14 where I have stayed.Im 40 and thought well as long as I look ok in my jeans BUT

tried a bikini on today and a pair of low rise skinny jeans.Muffin top was not in it.When I bent forward my belly looked like an empty bag hanging over bottoms

Im crap at diets.I dont eat to excess bit do eat a bar or choc a day and a can of coke.Been trying to do crunches (with a bit of online advice) but thinks doing wrong as back killed and felt v little in the distaster area

going away in 4 weeks.What can I do to look half decent?

stop crunches if your back hurts you are doing them wrong.

get a swimming costume not a bikini

don't get low rise jeans

size 14 5.9 is pretty good going imo

can you let up on yourself a bit?

your figure sounds pretty good to me.

Defo second the swimming costume, though. & if you are having a really down-on-yourself day you can always wrap up in a sarong!

I'm size 12, 5 ft 6. I think that's an OK size. What bothers me is horrendous skin damage and wrinkling on my tum, so I do understand your feelings. It really gets me down when going on dates etc as I am worried about what potential partners would think if they saw it

you had a baby 14 weeks ago.

14 weeks ago another human being was growing in your body.
give yourself some time fgs

It has not been THAT long since you had your baby and things take a wee while to settle IMO.
Wear a sarong and I'm with BBBee on the swimming costume. Ditch the Coke.
Are you able to get to a women only swimming group in your area just for toning up and to get some confidence back?
Anyway, you look pretty in your profile pic so you are not a minger.

crying now.Thanks for that.Feeling sorry for myself.DH said I looked brill last night and said I had ass of a 20 year old! Ok so he wants a shag I know but the belly over kecks is really worrying.Been looking at swimming costumes on Next but I always struggle with them as I am tall and theres always too much hanging out IFYKWIM

and i ditched coke tonight and am having a glass of cava instead!!

lol@ your dh wanting a shag

yes! with you! so you can't be that much of a minger surely!

I had missed the bit about 14 weeks- had read it as 14 MONTHS! (cos ds2 is 11 mo and I still feel mingin )

you are being so hard on yourself it's not true.

he wont be getting a shag though as i have pressganged him into a vaesectomy and hes v reluctant.Sex strike is the only way its going to get the job done!!

Feel like I have done my bit now its his turn

I reckon we are all too hard on ourselves.seriously normally I am quite confident but sometimes like today I think shit,im a mess and it might sound really silly but my dd aged 4 was laughing at my belly and I thought agghhhh

x

lol @ your sex strike for vasectomy! I will try it!!

yeah ds 1 also age 4 has started to pinch my tum and go 'saggy tum mum'!! eeeek

it's awful innit, how post-baby bodies are just not socially acceptable! It does get me down at times. I actually found myself idly considering a tummy tuck last month, and I'm so anti plastic surgery

children can be so very cruel. But we will get our own back one day eh

i had to have a section last time (my second) and i felt like asking doc to take a bit extra off!!

Must be what all these stars have as they look so bloody perfect 2 hours post birth!!

I am 35wk pg with no.3 and my tummy hangs down at the bottom even when I'm pg so what it's gonna be like after this one, I dread to think! Have also just got 1st varicose vein which had me in tears the other day. I'm 5'8 and was a size 14 before dc's and was v happy with that- now 16/18 . Definitely not having any more so my plan is to TRY to shape up after this one and when I have am going to ask for tummy tuck on NHS and have varicose vein done.

I am very of you to be a size 14, 14 WEEKS after having no.3! You are doing so well.

All you have to do is avoid low rise jeans. What about a tankini or little shorts and bikini top?

So you had a bad day shopping and it depressed you- we've all been there. Go again and think Trinny and Susanna (get clothes that flatter you're body shape) and I'm sure you will have some success!

soph28- how do I qualify for an NHS tummy tuck?

I'm 5.9 and size 14!!

Cut out the choc (says she who's eaten a whole sultana sponge cake today)

Cut out the coke (12 teaspoons of sugar in a can!)

Crunches won't get rid of the flab, only aerobic exercise will do that. Take baby out for a really fast walk every day, till you are sweaty. And be nice to yourself!

Its still early days, and we are not all like Victoria Beckham and her liposuction naturally fast metabolism.

I know it is easier said than done sometimes, but PLEASE concentrate on your good points. I have wasted so much of my life hating the way my body looks, it is such a waste of energy and enthusiasm. You sound like you have a great figure to me.

only had a little bot of choc tonight and it was dark choc so good for you

low rise jeans are a bugger as they push all the fat to the top.dh taking me to next tomorrow for some better fitting skinnys and a flattering swimsuit.

cola has always been a vice of mine.really need to ditch it and i have tried to do diet cola but its awful

I feel your pain! I'm 5'10 and a size 12 (have mangaed to lost 2 stone in the past year) but I'm left with this tummy which I absolutely hate. It's full of stetch marks, wrinkly and has the lovely c-section overhang. Truly dreadful

Sounds really shallow but it pisses me off on a regular basis.

I've got one word for you bandgeek. Control Pants. Ok, make that 2 words.

yes i am going to get some.Got baptism coming up and wearing slinky skirt.must invest in some of those too!

Lol, I have a pair of those. Am I the only one who feels unable to breathe after half an hour of wearing them though?

No pain no gain I suppose

lol

they might act as a deterrent for dh advances!!

Get some spanx - basically a big tubigrip type of body suit you wear under your clothes that makes you all smooth and lovely. Your clothes look better and it's an instant lift and very comfy to wear. If you feel better, you are more likely to look after yourself better. Self fulfilling prophecy, innit!