Please help me and my family with our weight and diet

[NameChangeEmbarressed]

I am so fed up with being obese. And worried for my family.

Im sure a lot of my health issues are weight related. My joints hurt, my back hurts. I get out of breath at the slightest thing. My blood pressure is raised and so is my resting heart rate. I don’t sleep well and my husband and kids say I make funny noises and sore so it’s probably sleep apnoea. My periods are all over the place and so are my moods.

I don’t feel attractive, and as any fat woman will tell you, I feel invisible.

I’ve tried and failed so many times now to lose weight. I may well lose a stone but then the health eating and exercise goes to pot and I put on the weight I’ve lost plus some extra.

My husband is also overweight, borderline obese. He wasn’t when we met. I was overweight when we met but only just. I know his weight isn’t all my responsibility and that he has control of what he eats but seeing as I do the bulk of the food prep I can’t help but feel slightly responsibly. He also has high blood pressure and snores like mad.

Our eldest is a healthy weight but doesn’t have the best diet so I’m paranoid that he has a lot of fat around his organs.

Our youngest is obese. The school weighing thing in Reception confirmed this, though will probably refuse in Year 6. And she’s in age 13-14 and she’s not even 9 until next month. She keeps saying she's the fattest in her class, that she's not pretty etc so it's affecting her too.

I’m 5’3 and 15 stone 3. My husband is 5’9 and is 14 stone. Our eldest is 15 and 5’11 and 9 stone. Our youngest is 9 next month and is around 135cm and 7 stone 4.

So something needs to change. For all of us. We need to be healthier.

I just don’t know what is stopping me, what is holding me back. I can’t seem to snap out of the “convenience” mind set. The take away. The sweets / biscuits / cakes etc.

Can anyone please advise me. I don’t want to be like this but I don’t know how to break the cycle.

Thank you

Echo reading ultra processed people.
I'm reading it now and its really eye opening.
I thought I had a reasonably healthy diet, following SW as need to lose a bit, I've realised how much UPF my daughters eat and they are a bit overweight too.
It really does put you off so I'm busy trying to wean them off it but they've got fussy and like beige food.
Agree with you need to be organised and plan meals in advance if possible.
I like the Slimming Eats website, there are loads of great family friendly recipies and they don't seem like 'diet' food or 2 Chubby Cubs, personally prefer them to pinch of nom ones.
Also agree little changes longterm are better plus if you have a bad day, just start again the next, don't stress about it and give up. And if possible don't snack between meals, you'll soon realise you don't actually need it but if you do go for fruit first.

Bottle feeding is not the problem! Don’t beat yourself up about that.

Definitely agree that small permanent changes are much better than life overhauls that don't take. Read Atomic Habits by James Clear on this.

So every week, make a new small swap. The time will pass whatever you do so you may as well do it. You don't have to go from 0 to 100 - just each week improve things a little.

W1: Swap orange juice for water. If it doesn't feel special enough, buy fizzy water.
W2: Swap kitkat for cheddar cheese sticks and pure peanut butter
W3: Swap white bread for wholemeal
W4: Swap biscuits for malty biscuit tea. (Stop buying biscuits.)
W5: Cut one carb from your takeaway (eg don't have rice and naan together, or don't have chips and bun as well).
W6: Swap milk chocolate for darker chocolate.
W7: Swap beer for wine, or wine for gin, whatever you drink
W8: Swap skimmed milk for whole milk

and so on. By Christmas you will have cut your sugar intake to the floor.

On the ready meals side of things: I am big into batch cooking, as a family we all have different dietary restrictions, and are busy and tired in the week so it keeps us off takeaways and ready meals.

Make time to cook from scratch on your non working days, but make at least 3 extra meals worth every time. If you have the right kit it shouldn’t take any longer, and what you save by making your own ready meals, you can spend on healthy pre prepped fresh veg/salad sides.

Hundreds of meals can be frozen either fully prepped ready to cook from frozen, or pre-cooked then frozen ready to reheat.

I find it much easier to avoid snacking with a filling, zero effort home cooked dinner to look forward to. Planning ahead helps me loads with impulse control.

I just wanted to come back and say thank you to those who have offered all the fabulous advice and support.

I weighed myself this morning and I have lost 2lbs. Not a massive amount I know but still proud of myself. Had wholemeal bread instead of white, 3 portions of veg and 2 of fruit a day and just cooked meals at home. Simple stuff like steak with new potatoes and green beans, Cajun chicken with spicy rice and carrots etc. Upped the water intake and not drank as much tea as I have sugar in that.

Not weighing the children. But will go by how my youngest clothes fit and the eldest was a healthy weight anyway. Husband doesn't want to weigh himself yet, he wants to leave it a month

That's brilliant OP, well done. It sounds like you've started some really good habits that will give you good results over time. Keep going!

Amazing xxxxx

2lbs is a lot of weight,weigh out some pasta twirls and see how much it is. Well done!!

I’ve just started taking Wegovy and it’s brilliant. I have to remind myself to eat and I don’t crave carbs or sweets anymore.

Previously the only thing that worked for me was counting calories with an app.

Well done! Small changes can make bjg difference and 1kg loss is solid

Same here, and Tim Spector book. It’s good you and DH are willing to work together on this. I’d try and frame everything as a positive, like the saving money on takeaway, focus on more fruit and veg, plan some fun exercise as a family. Focus on reducing ultra processed foods. Do you have time to batch cook and freeze, for the days you work long hours?

We’re the same OP although kids are alright thank god. I was the fat kid and it really becomes a self fulfilling prophecy when you think those things/are aware of those things about yourself at such a young age. So well done for trying to help your daughter and I’d advise working on her and her self confidence as a priority.

DH recently did a Numan test and the results were shocking. He’s the slimmer one but eats really awfully and his cholesterol, liver function, loads of other things were all awful. I’ve done the Zoë study this time last year and my results were pretty good as I eat healthily.

Our initial plan is:

run:
Him mon and weds
Me sun and Tues
Chill Fri
Park run sat

him:
Take results to GP
Cholesterol etc - LESS FAST FOOD
Daily vitamins
WATER
Less caffeine
Airfyer instead of oil fry

Takeaway once a fortnight

me:
AIP then no gluten or UPF (AIP = an autoimmune thing)
Fascia, Pilates, mobility exercises
kettlebells/Caroline Girvan
Batch cook healthy meals for family
Art
Less phone/live in real world

Family
Listen to music more
Do regular family walk again
Tidy house for calm atmos
Weekly traditions eg make strictly a big thing

I think if you’re filling up your cup with happy things other than food then that will make a difference - for us at least!

@NaNameChangeEmbarressed well done OP. That's amazing!