I apologise.
For context in the years this thread has been going through lockdowns and whatever other sagas we've had all sorts of posters. Some with many stones to lose to hit a healthy bmi, some with very controlling eating habits and low weights and clearly skewed thinking about their bodies etc.
I have in general been the one to politely, carefully speak up and explain the ethos and how things affect others and that most of us are used to body shaming ourselves and using really negative language about our weight. I've then explained that what's been nice about this thread and quite special is that we don't do that and generally encourage each other to be kind to ourselves and realistic and see the whole journey rather than a number on one day and to explain how important it is to not say things that we think we're just saying to ourselves but inadvertently could be really triggering or insulting others on the thread with larger amounts of weight to lose.
Maybe we were particularly kind and patient with ourselves/encouraging others to be the same because we were up against the odds ie. that first lockdown when loads of people were piling on weight but we were taking steps to lose weight against those odds or maybe it's been because it has generally been quite small - I don't know. Anyway I've always felt quite protective of that... kindness and consideration and encouragement. Women, particularly past a certain age when metabolism changes, can really struggle to lose weight and experience big fluctuations and not see the easy results they used to in their 20's when a weekend of dancing and forgetting to eat would see them half a stone down and it not bouncing straight back on again. Even there some people never had that at any age and have struggled all along.
When we use words like disgusting or gross or whatever it's a habit of talking to oneself unpleasantly that comes out but we haven't started thinking about what effect that has on us let alone on other people. People are shocked and horrified when their child starts saying oh I'm gross, I'm so fat etc but often grown up watching and hearing their Mum do the same thing every time she stands in front of a mirror or on a set of scales.
I think the realisation that I should say things like that because I'm actually shaming and judging and hurting other people without meaning to or realising can be a stepping stone to actually taking that inwards and saying oh and I'm doing that to myself endlessly on a loop! Does that really encourage me or help me in my journey?
I'm sorry I was blunt and ready to walk this time. Not sure where that patient carefulness of mine has gone. Could be that I'm surviving on just a few hours sleep a night lately or dealing with life stuff that's been hard going or could be that I'm annoyed with myself that due to (or maybe that's just an excuse) that stuff going on I've managed to put weight back on that I worked really hard to lose by staying happy and healthy-ish in myself and my life and my balance of food and activity. (Not as in constantly because that doesn't seem to be the way the goes - more like patches of doing really well, falling off, being a bit pissed off then remembering to be kind and gentle to myself and not judging but just keeping going etc.)
I apologise but also ask please don't use language like that. There may be a lurker who is 18stone but was 20stone a year ago and felt/feels really good about that but is having a hard time with it lately and then reads that someone who is 9 or 10 or 12 stone thinks they're disgusting and thinks what's the point? I'm huge, I'll always be huge etc and what a twat I was congratulating myself for being 18stone I might as well go and change my delivery basket online and take advantage of the fact my favourite brand of haagen daaz/ben&jerry's is half price.
I've no authority to ask - it's an open forum - there's no rules etc - it's literally just a plea and something I hope is worth thinking about for yourself as well as others.
It's not even the worst I've seen - we've had to deal with people who were like 8st5 saying how gross they were for putting on half a pound or eating half a packet of biscuits or whatever so I'm sorry it was today that I didn't handle it well. My bad.