What made your brain click so you started losing weight?

[Youaremysunshine14]

I hope the title isn't too baffling! What I'm trying to get across is that I know losing weight is as much a mental challenge as a physical one and if anyone has need tips on how to make my brain engage in the process, I'd love to know them.

Background: I've been a yo-yo dieter since my teens so I'm pretty confident I know everything there is to know about how to lose weight. I've read The Obesity Code, am savvy on low carbs, glucose intolerance etc etc. I know about the body's set point and why it rebels against LCD et etc. I know about the benefits of intermittent fasting etc etc. I know that commercial diets are designed to only work in the short term and that the diet industry's success is built on a failure rate of 98% that guarantees return customers etc etc. I know all this and more (I've even tried hypnotherapy!) and yet still I'm overweight by three stone (I've been in denial about it for ages, but today I realised I'm now proper fat and can't put my arms down by my sides properly).

I've just turned 50 and I don't want the final third of my life to be blighted by ill health caused by obesity. But how the heck do I flick the switch in my brain that makes me stick to a healthy eating plan and stop scoffing crisps by the multipack-load? What worked for you? I really don't want a health scare to trigger me finally taking action – I want to sort myself out before I get to that point. I'm hoping this post, and taking some accountability, might spark something, so do share if you have any tips!

Thanks Lizsmum for telling me about this. I'm really pleased I've done the self-referral now. It's almost certainly the biggest act of self-care I've done for myself in a long time.

Thanks Youaremysunshine14.
One thing really struck me when my Dad was ill is that I definitely comfort eat. My mum lost 2 stone and put at least half a stone on. I was eating things like hot jam puddings/crumbles with cream. I craved stodgy carbs.
Carbs is my downfall 😒

I never had loads to lose, but my story might be worth sharing because what I have done is to maintain weight loss.

I had always been 9 stone something until my 30s, then put on weight to over 11 stone, worsening post kids (5"4 if that helps). I am sporty/muscular and I think because I knew that and wasn't weighing myself, I kind of kidded myself I was ok fatness wise.

I just realised at the start of my 40s that I needed to actually confront reality. I'd half heartedly tried to slim a bit here and there, but tailed off straight after losing it. However, I just realised one day I needed an objective reality check about my health

So.... I got a Dexa scan, and from then on realised I need to weigh myself regularly, and now keep doing so.

The Dexa scan showed that I am indeed highly muscular, but carried fat in a dangerous place (my stomach). The scan frightened me just enough and gave me a very target specific weight at which I would be still be muscular and toned but with a much better body fat (9.10). This was a healthy, realistic reset because I think in my 20s, I had the idea I 'ought' to be 8 stone odd, which is too light on my apelike frame!

Getting on the scales regularly meant and still means I could see if I was in fact that weight (sounds obviously but I was previously very avoidant). To get there I just adjusted calories on myFitnessPal and ate a fair bit of soup. I got there over 6 months and have maintained since (nearly 5 years). I exercise (that never my problem though) and have just naturally adjusted portions (there's nothing I 'don't eat') and I now find it straightforward to maintain.

In retrospect I can see I was simply eating overly large portions - a treat breakfast might have been two croissants with jam whereas if I fancied a croissant on a Saturday these days I'd have half or one, and there's no way I'd even want more. It really was that simple!

Never had that so called 'body tries to regain weight thing', it feels like 9"10 is a set point weight for me now.

Also worth adding - I don't see weight as 'moral' thing and beat myself up. Too many of us associate it with our success and failture - sod that. We need to start with kindness to ourselves.

In my experience, some of the smartest, most energetic, most effortful, most disciplined, most go-getting people I know are a touch plump. We don't deserve to feel like we are crap because of this, and it makes it harder to lose!

I try to see it like remembering to thread my eyebrows (which to be fair are a bit bushy at the moment) 😀

Think of the boiled frog. If you tried to put a frog into boiling water it would jump out immediately; in the same way if we woke up one day and had gone from a normal weight to obese we'd be horrified and do something about it straight away.

If however you put a frog into warm water and gradually increase the temperature it will stay there until it dies from the heat. When we put weight on over a period of time we will often discount it or make excuses unless or until there's a health scare, or life becomes so uncomfortable it can't be ignored. Problem with that is that we adapt to circumstances - we can buy bigger clothes, avoid situations where size is a problem (airline seats for example).

Very often the conscious, rational mind will be determined to make a positive change but unless the subconscious, emotional mind (or inner child if you prefer) is on board it will always scupper your efforts. Why? Because the subconscious is all about living in the moment, short term gratification and being happy right now and food fulfills all those requirements - especially if food was used for comfort, reward or a substitute for affection in childhood. Once the body is in mortal danger from obesity the subconscious desire for self preservation will kick in and override the short term appetite for overeating. That's when you get into the yo-yo effect.

*No frogs were harmed in this thread...

Escarpahell I love the frog analogy! It's really interesting what you've written about the body needing to be in mortal danger before the subconscious can be overridden. Where did you learn this?

It's what I do! I'm a hypnotist 😊

Do you mind me asking but how did you actually loose the weight... walking, weights??

I have lost weight by walking at least 5k a day (brisk pace) and counting everything I eat, eating fat less sugar, saturated fats, processed foods etc. I put on weight after a back injury then a 5 year illness and I am now post surgery. I looked at my fitness pal and my gain has been over 10 years! I was at 13st for years (I’m 5’5) and it kind of didn’t look THAT bad so I didn’t do anything about it. Like I had boobs and bum and a waist so it was not out of fashion in the right clothes. After my surgery (abdo) my stomach was so so big, I had never had a large tummy before and I looked like a barrel! I just felt sweaty and horrible all the time. Last year I went on a city break and got terrible chub rub on my thighs. I don’t want that again this year so I am trying so hard to get it off. It’s going to be a long slog! (4st total, 2.5 now to go)

unless you go get a gastric sleeve the reality is that WL is slow and frustrating but not impossible

I think the key is once you loose the weight you only have to mostly stick to a healthy eating plan. You can have the occasional this and that, as long as it's not becoming a daily habit again.

I've recently lost some weight and I feel much better. I was certainly in denial. I thought my washing machine wasn't working and was shrinking my clothes 😂 Honestly I can laugh now. I have found it hard and boring at times as I realise eating food is a big time waster.

One thing that worked for me a while back was working out the amount of weight I had to lose and then converting each pound to 20 miles and mapping it. I remember getting stuck at Welwyn Garden City for a while. I really quite enjoyed moving towards my destination!

regarding not being tempted to eat a multibag of crisps… I just avoid buying that kind of thing. Or I buy one pack.

Signed up for a Boot Camp for two/three weeks about twelve years ago. Getting up at 6.30 and on the move all day till 8pm doing walking, ball games, cycling, different types of gym, yoga etc. Meals were regulated according to each person. The camp does not exist in that form now but it did alright for me at that time. I just got it into my head that, a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips was true saying.
If I buy it, I will eat it so I don’t buy. Don’t listen to the voice that says this time it won’t count, it will. A treat because you deserve it, only defeats the object
Eat off small plates, only drink water and walk as much as you can, good for the mind. Over the first year I lost 10 kgs and I haven’t put it back on, not even during lockdown.
good luck

😂😂😂😂 at you thinking your washing machine wasn't working and was shrinking your clothes!

I agree that one of the keys to losing weight is mostly sticking to an eating plan and also not using the occasional treat as an excuse to derail completely. I've been really mindful this week of not doing that and for 99% of the time I've happily eaten low carb and haven't had any cravings. Then last night I fancied a packet of crisps and I experienced an obvious glucose spike – I suddenly felt really shaky and needed to sit down. It was very concerning and I'm pretty sure the blood tests will confirm I'm pre-diabetic, if not already diabetic. Normally a packet of crisps would be the gateway into eating more crap but after that I didn't want anything else.

I do feel so much better this week after being inspired by this thread and I've lost 1lb. Slow and steady!

I LOVE the mapping idea! I'm going to nick that if you don't mind. I've worked out I need to walk to the equivalent of Brighton to Inverness (30lbs to lose, so 600 miles). I've got to a village called Pease Pottage so far. 😂

Can I just say one of the most TMI but best things about healthy eating is it helping my IBS. Unfortunately falling from the FODMAP type foods even slightly causes it to flare up. Every time I want to binge I ask myself if I really want to be stuck on the loo all day again 🤣😭

initially I was constipated like hell but that’s getting better now

go bowel power

The "im loooking after myself" has really resonated with me.

I keep forgetting to do that 🤔

I think relying on a scare or some sad prospect for motivation can backfire because some people eat more when stressed or scared.

Perhaps try envisioning the new slimmer version of you - create a mood board of clothes and swimsuits you'll enjoy wearing when you lose the weight.

Treat yourself in ways that are not food related once a month. Save up the money you might spend on chocolate or wine or crisps and get your nails done. Or do what Dilbertian did.

Watch motivational videos - TED talks or YouTube can be inspiring. Avoid anything that induced guilt or a sense of shame or causes stress.

Get into weight lifting - just hand weights, which you can even do while sitting, and gentle walking. Walk with the purpose of enjoying the fresh air and note anything you encounter that you consider beautiful or interesting. Breathe deeply.

Let joy into your process. Don't defer happiness. Grab it whenever you can. Just because you're overweight doesn't mean you don't deserve to feel joy in everyday living.

Try to identify the places and times you are most likely to eat mindlessly or experience cravings. Figure out some way to avoid spending time in those places or to change what you do there at those times. If it's the TV in the evening, sit down with your hand weights or with ankle weights and move your arms or legs. Or drink a healthy veggie shake instead of a Coke or beer or anything that just offers carbs.

You can plan what you'll eat too and munch your way through the evening in a way that will have some benefit for you - a bowl of baby carrots and cucumber slices close at hand will be better for you than dipping into a family size bag of crisps. Conscious choices help greatly. Hit the greens section of the supermarket and walk past the crisps and choc.

You've misunderstood. I am absolutely not relying for a scare or something else in that vein to propel me into losing weight! I was asking what made things click and, sadly, for lots of people, it has taken an unfortunate turn of events in their life. Thanks for the rest of your advice but, again, this is all things I know after 30+ years of disordered eating.

I'm loving this thread and taking some screen, particularly Mathanxiety's recent post and the mapping the lost weight. I'm going to do that later!

The mapping is genius! If I lose another 1lb next week I'll make it to Redhill!

Ah, gotcha.

What did it for me was the idea of looking after myself because I deserved to feel good, to look good, and to feel joy when I woke up each day. I decided to create a food and lifestyle version of what sparked joy, very much in the spirit of Marie Kondo, after many, many joyless years.

The background was the end of an abusive marriage followed by nine years of horrible abuse on the part of my exH via post divorce motions he filed against me as he tried to make good on a threat to take the DCs from me.

My thought process was along the lines that taking care of myself was part of the healing process after years of being told in many ways both subtle and unsubtle that I was worthless.

mathanxiety I'm so sorry that was your trigger, that sounds horrendous, especially the fact he was able to continue his abuse for years after you left him. How you channeled that into such a positive turnaround for your health and wellbeing is really inspiring.

Just posting to take inspiration from all the ideas on here.

I've just read this entire thread and I've found it such an insightful and helpful read.

I've yoyo'd since I was a teenager. Went abroad at 21 for two years after having lost a couple stone and I ballooned that second year to the biggest I'd ever been (230lbs). My wake up call was when I was home again and had to run for a bus, I ran so fast, my legs buckled and I realised at 23 they couldn't carry me. It was bloody awful. I started immediately with 5:2 and Zumba a few times a week and lost 25lbs in around 5 months. But I found 5:2 extremely difficult as I was grumpy and lethargic and wanted to binge the day after the fast. I then went abroad again to a hot country, walked loads, spent lots of time outdoors and ate really well (so hot I never wanted sweet crap - I ate my big meal at lunch and light dinner of fruit with bread). I naturally lost another 15lbs over that year plus another 4 months at home again without trying. I then sustained that 40 pound loss for 3 years, neither losing nor gaining. I was still overweight but felt SO much better and stronger.

Since going through a rubbish time between 2017-2019, my weight crept up ten pounds. I then had a baby early in the pandemic and since stopping breastfeeding last summer, I put on another 17 pounds in just 6 months. My current kick up the bum has come from a similar reason to that when I was 230lbs. My legs are just generally weaker since giving birth and my weight is exacerbating it. So although I can stand up, I don't just spring up like I used to and it's such an effort to stand up...that has bloody scared me and stepping on the scales to see I'd gone up to 217lbs has shocked me after so many years maintaining at 190.
I started middle March and since then, I'm 5lbs down and my goal is to get back under the 200. So I want to see 199.
I'm going slow. I know it's not a sprint, it's a marathon. I'm eating 1800 calories and walking more. I tend to do 8-10,000 steps every day.
I don't have chocolate or biscuits in the house and I'm weighing everything. If I want chocolate, a buy a single bar and it needs to fit in my calories but at the moment it's no more than twice a week.

The evenings are my tough time. I spend the whole time resisting the urge to eat. And I know there's no sweet stuff in, my brain tries to work out what I can have (like chocolate Weetabix.) I just repeat to myself "I control what I eat" and it's like a small argument in my head 😅
I got rid of this craving before pregnancy and I was only having one chocolate bar every 2 weeks so I'm determined to get back there!

@Mrsteapot42 I could of wrote your last paragraph.

How many calories are you having a day? Do you mind sharing what you’re doing? Thanks