What made your brain click so you started losing weight?

[Youaremysunshine14]

I hope the title isn't too baffling! What I'm trying to get across is that I know losing weight is as much a mental challenge as a physical one and if anyone has need tips on how to make my brain engage in the process, I'd love to know them.

Background: I've been a yo-yo dieter since my teens so I'm pretty confident I know everything there is to know about how to lose weight. I've read The Obesity Code, am savvy on low carbs, glucose intolerance etc etc. I know about the body's set point and why it rebels against LCD et etc. I know about the benefits of intermittent fasting etc etc. I know that commercial diets are designed to only work in the short term and that the diet industry's success is built on a failure rate of 98% that guarantees return customers etc etc. I know all this and more (I've even tried hypnotherapy!) and yet still I'm overweight by three stone (I've been in denial about it for ages, but today I realised I'm now proper fat and can't put my arms down by my sides properly).

I've just turned 50 and I don't want the final third of my life to be blighted by ill health caused by obesity. But how the heck do I flick the switch in my brain that makes me stick to a healthy eating plan and stop scoffing crisps by the multipack-load? What worked for you? I really don't want a health scare to trigger me finally taking action – I want to sort myself out before I get to that point. I'm hoping this post, and taking some accountability, might spark something, so do share if you have any tips!

I tried to lose weight for a few years, not through specific diets but just trying to eat what I imagined was healthy without any real research and then moving to half hearted calorie counting but nothing really made a difference.

I got my weight measured when getting my contraceptive pill and expected it to be the same as when I weighted myself quite a while back (first thing in the morning and butt naked to keep it as low as possible), but it was much higher and passed a milestone number I had always been comfortably under before.

Luckily that was enough to stir me onto proper calorie counting and I realised I was underestimating my calories by the hundreds each day compared to my TDEE.

I started by eating whatever I wanted but ensuring it was within my calorie limits, mostly ready meals as I don't enjoy cooking and live alone but it did the job and over the months I lost a good amount of weight.
Seeing this gave me confidence to look at macros and slowly I changed meals to make sure I had enough protein and fibre each day (only these to start, then trying to reduce saturated fat and sugars). I now have a spreadsheet of meals with nutritional info that I can mix and match throughout the week plus a wildcard day when I eat whatever I want under 2K cal.

This process took 2 years or so, I couldn't imagine going from my starting point to nutritionally dense low calorie meals without all the trial and error/ learning in between.

I don't know what its like to be overweight.
But I went through a period of binge eating in my 20s (thankfully mitigated by the fact that I've always enjoyed the gym and also walked everywhere).
I would go to the shop, over the road, in the evening and buy:

• a pack of Maryland cookies
• a large 500g bag of Haribo
• a large sharer bag of Sensations crisps
• a bar of Galaxy

...or something like that. Ie, I needed something chocolate, fruity, crunchy and salty - all in one sitting. I have an overweight mum so thought 'oh no, here we go, I'm heading the same way and there's nothing I can do about it'. I kept this up for about 5 years. One day though, something snapped. And I think it was something to do with:

• finally feeling OK in my career
• making friends, whereas previously I was lonely
• discovering hobbies and interests
• healing some wounds from my childhood

I'm now 38 and it wouldn't occur to me to binge.

I did a lot of emotional eating. There was a lot of 'fuck it, things are tough, if chocolate helps the. Chocolate it is'.

But at some point (when things weren't tough) I had a moment of changing that to recognise that chocolate (or the 2 extra stone it had brought with it) was making me sadder not happier.

It sounds silly but that was it.

2 months in covid hit and I lost my job & my mum went really downhill. But I stuck to the diet because I was damned if I was going to let it beat me.

It took 11 months but I shifted 2 stone and am now yo yoing but just for the last 6-7lbs that are the difference between ok and nice figure.

@clarasara enatbis 16/8 please?

Knew I was overweight, had started getting recurrent back pain, odd sleeping patterns, probs with achilles, no energy. All a bit scary so I had a blood test & was heading towards pre-diabetes. DD has type 1 diabetes so I am very aware of just what diabetes means, and what you can do with lifestyle change if you want to get your blood sugars down. Want to be around for her, to set a good example to set her up for a healthy future, and be fit & healthy to spend more time doing the things I have always liked to do (mainly exploring the outdoors).

I knew all this, but the blood test was the kick up the arse that I needed - completely shifted my mindset. DD away for a couple of weeks so I dived right in with fast keto 800 (covering fasting, low carb, and low cal in one move - in for a penny and all that). I am loving it, and find it absolutely amazing - not hungry, tonnes more energy (makes it easier to do more exercise!) and have lost 11lb & 4cm around waist since Easter. And much less farty 😬. Long way to go, but the weight loss is a great incentive! Hope you find something that works for you.

Should clarify - what you can do with lifestyle change if you're heading towards pre-diabetes (and ultimately Type 2 diabetes). It can be reversed. Type 1 can't - you're with it for life, whatever you do and however good your blood sugar control is.

for me-

1. saying to myself that I can simply decide what weight I am. All it takes is the decision, and the actions that flow from decision. Saying it reminded me that I have agency and am not actually trapped in my old behaviours.


2. faking it until I make it. Doing the things I imagined myself doing as a thin person right away and not waiting for that future time. So going to all the places I wanted, wearing nice clothes, making an effort with hair and make up. All made me feel less slobby and so my eating became less slobby.


3. Exercise- might not make a huge difference to calories burned but again made me feel like a healthy person and so I wanted to carry that feeling on.


4. Giving up alcohol most of the time. I was finding the even a small amount gave me a hangover and then I’d eat crap to try to feel better. Now I have a drink maybe one a month or less.

Just popping back on to say thank you to everyone who shared what made their brain click. You have all given me food for thought (pun intended!). I have registered for the diabetes II prevention programme after completing the 'how at risk are you?' test recommended by a PP and coming up as medium. I've also realised today I have some symptoms that indicate I might be pre-diabetic, including my eyesight blurring after certain mealtimes, which can be a sign of elevated blood sugar. Don't worry though, I am not going to rely just on Dr Google! When I see my GP on Monday about something else I will ask for a blood test to confirm. But it has been a wake-up call and I'm determined to take my weight in hand now. Thank you everyone. x

Looking at a family photo and realising I had become ‘the fat one’ and discovering, the same week, that none of the dresses that used to conceal my growing tum has could hide it anymore 👀

For me it was just realising how shit and unhappy i felt as a result of my unhealthy lifestyle back in January. For me losing weight goes hand in hand with improved mental health. Like pp's I use what I guess is a bit of NLP really. I let the cravings, if I have them sort of "wash over me", I don't try to block it - I imagine myself going to the fridge and eating the food and then imagine how Il feel afterwards (probably like I've let myself down and disappointed) and that usually stops me reaching for the biscuits!

I also often think of the phrase "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"! I know that's not necessarily true 😂 but for me it kind of centres my mind on why I'm doing this - to make myself feel better, happier and more energised. It's not necessarily about how I look (although I definitely look better now) but how being overweight, unfit and unhealthy negatively affects my MH and my life in general. I don't want to huff and puff when I go up the stairs and I don't want to sit eating chocolate and crisps on the sofa all evening and making myself feel sick - then feeling wretched the next day.

Ive lost 20lbs since mid-January. Ive been sticking to around 1200 cals a day and doing lots of brisk walking. I still enjoy a meal out every week, sometimes twice a week but I make healthy choices and share a dessert with dh! I've gone from being overweight to a healthy bmi and a size 14 to a 10-12.

I find accountability helps the psychological side for me. So eg using MFP - but not with any targets / goals just to record what I'm eating. Or the Simple fasting app is great for this as it asks some great questions about each meal (what food types were in it, was it homemade / pre packaged, why did you eat, how did you eat) rather than weights and measures.

@smallbirdwidesky can I ask what steps you took as I had anorexia (teens) then bulimia throughout adulthood. Now struggling with binge eating but have managed to stop throwing up. Progress of course but I'm worried this is going to be me forever.

I lost a lot (10kg) on a Vlcd after a bereavement (which temporarily reversed my diabetes) and after a little bounce up, settled for a few years around 100kg.

About two years ago I had the sort of mental shift I think you’re talking about.
i suddenly felt like my weight/diet was something that I own, that I am in control of -a shift from a child mindset where cravings or binging were something that I was powerless against, to something like what Sandy identified upthread: cravings etc just happen-maybe from hunger, or emotion or whatever and I still have agency to respond or not . The whole tie in with self worth, weakness/strength has taken a step back and food /weight have taken its appropriate place as PART of my life rather than a defining characteristic. I still recognise the urges -to eat my emotions, to pseudo-comfort with food with its subsequent loathing etc and sometimes I do them both and then ‘forgive’ my Child and carry on.
I’ve gradually lost another 6 or 7 kilos over a year, with all the ups and downs of eating a normal healthy diet.

I’ve since lost another 8 or 9 kg through having cancer but I probably wouldn’t recommend that diet!

I am Placemarking so I can come back to this

What a lovely story and a kind and motivating thing to do, @Dilbertian !

Health scare for me too. I had very high bp with both pregnancies and after my second dc it didn't go away. I was put on meds (and still take them now, 15 years later) but through eating more healthily and taking up running, I lost a couple of stone and my bp went down to borderline rather than massively high. I've repeatedly put back on and then lost half a stone since then, but never went back to the weight I had been.

Watching with interest

As @Mrsteapot42 I am like you

I actually find it easier to not eat and tell myself I can't have something. Instead of saying I can have a little bit of something. I also need quick weight loss to keep motivated.

Another Monday has rolled around. But I am convinced that this is going to be the time I do it.

My step count isn't up to much but calorie wise I am at 975 for the day which for day 1 isn't bad.

I looked at my diabetes score and I was 14/47
My waist measurement was shocking too.

I know I have a very all or nothing approach that I need to get out of the habit of.

Hello OP
I am in your boat too.

Ah @Mrsteapot42 I am like you

I actually find it easier to not eat and tell myself I can't have something. Instead of saying I can have a little bit of something. I also need quick weight loss to keep motivated.

Another Monday has rolled around so I have spent the day being "good".
But I am determined that this is going to be the time I do it.

My step count isn't up to much but calorie wise I am at 975 for the day which for day 1 isn't bad.

I looked at my diabetes score and I was 14/47
My waist measurement was shocking too.

I know I have a very all or nothing approach that I need to get out of the habit of.

Hello OP
I am in your boat too.

Ah @Mrsteapot42 I am like you

I actually find it easier to not eat and tell myself I can't have something. Instead of saying I can have a little bit of something. I also need quick weight loss to keep motivated.

Another Monday has rolled around so I have spent the day being "good".
But I am determined that this is going to be the time I do it.

My step count isn't up to much but calorie wise I am at 975 for the day which for day 1 isn't bad.

I looked at my diabetes score and I was 14/47
My waist measurement was shocking too.

I know I have a very all or nothing approach that I need to get out of the habit of.

Hello OP
I am in your boat too.

Ah @Mrsteapot42 I am like you

I actually find it easier to not eat and tell myself I can't have something. Instead of saying I can have a little bit of something. I also need quick weight loss to keep motivated.

Another Monday has rolled around so I have spent the day being "good".
But I am determined that this is going to be the time I do it.

My step count isn't up to much but calorie wise I am at 975 for the day which for day 1 isn't bad.

I looked at my diabetes score and I was 14/47
My waist measurement was shocking too.

I know I have a very all or nothing approach that I need to get out of the habit of.

Ah @Mrsteapot42 I am like you

I actually find it easier to not eat and tell myself I can't have something. Instead of saying I can have a little bit of something. I also need quick weight loss to keep motivated.

Another Monday has rolled around so I have spent the day being "good".
But I am determined that this is going to be the time I do it.

My step count isn't up to much but calorie wise I am at 975 for the day which for day 1 isn't bad.

I looked at my diabetes score and I was 14/47
My waist measurement was shocking too.

I know I have a very all or nothing approach that I need to get out of the habit of.

Oh my god
Now I have killed the thread by posting eleventy million times .
Stupid app told me it hadn't posted
Sorry

Lots of podcasts! Trying to do as much fun non food related stuff as possible. Getting off the sofa and away from telly in the evening (danger zone re wine and snacks). Make my bed first thing every morning, Cold shower (Fit2fat2fit ideas), meditation 🧘‍♀️ Realising that there are other ways to enjoy life than through food! Also I find low carb great as it curbs appetite.

Onwards and upwards op, sounds like you're on the right track

💐🌷

I find that exercise is the only thing that works for me.

When I exercise I naturally make much healthier choices. I think it’s a combination of being in touch with my body a bit more and also feeling smug/“good” from the exercise, which helps fuel me to make healthy choices, have a protein shake or hard boiled eggs and fruit instead of junk food.

Sometimes I have a tendency to think “fuck it!” If I’m already being a lazy bones and then double down with bad food too. But if I’ve clocked the exercise it’s like I have a natural halo that inspires me to want to be even better.

If you love swimming, swimming every morning might set you up to make healthier choices during the day.

Also no junk food in the house as well obviously.

There is always the mantra “nothing tastes as good as healthy feels!”

OP - I could have written your first post. I’ve been to slimming world, weight watchers, tried 5:2, MFP, The Cambridge Diet, hypnosis etc. I can lose weight but eventually it all goes back on (and more). I’ve not even bothered trying the last few years (plus had a rough few years with family problems) and am the heaviest I’ve ever been. I do hate it. The problem is, I love food more. I just LOVE it. I wake up thinking about it, I plan my day around it, I go armed to the gunnels with snacks to work so that I have plenty to keep me going (obviously all crap food I don’t need). I’m obsessed by it. I honestly feel like an addict and I have absolutely no idea how to deal with that side of things. I daren’t look on that pre-diabetes thing because I know what it will say and I can’t bear to give up/reduce the food I love. If anyone can help with this side of things I’d be very grateful!